


"Friends"?

by lazykyun



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Clingy Lim Changkyun | I.M, Completed, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Hyungkyun, I love wonkyun, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Minor Lee Jooheon/Lim Changkyun | I.M, Multi, One-Sided Relationship, Sad Lim Changkyun | I.M, Self-Harm, Slow Build, Temporarily Unrequited Love, They need more love, Wonkyun, adding tags as I go, because he deserves black hair, black hair wonho, but I love hyungkyun more, but extra/special chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2018-10-25 10:25:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 32
Words: 43,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10762353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lazykyun/pseuds/lazykyun
Summary: "What am I to you then?""A friend?"-completed-





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hihi, before reading this badly(?) plotted fic, I just wanna let you know that I'm writing this for the fun of it, to improve on my English and for the fact wonkyun/hyungkyun needs more love!!!
> 
> My English is substandard. So, I'm really sorry for the bad grammar or spelling errors! This is also my first time writing a fic. Please forgive my amateur writing! D:

Just like every other morning, Changkyun sluggishly sat up on his bed, eyelids still heavy from sleep. He glanced over to his right. A raven haired boy still deep in his slumber.  _I feel bad,_ Changkyun thought. He had made Wonho stayed up all night to re-watch his favourite thriller films, all 6 parts of Saw. Wonho was probably worn out from screaming his head off. He even begged Changkyun to switch it off. Changkyun could only snicker wickedly. He was undeniably entertained by his silly hyung. 

Soft snores filled the room as Changkyun laid his eyes on the other boy. He carefully watched Wonho's chest rise and fall calmly. He poked Wonho's puffy cheek relentlessly. Wonho's face scrunched up in annoyance. An impish smile splayed across Changkyun's face.  _Ugly but adorable_ , he thought. Changkyun stretched his arms as he yawned. He gave out a low groan as soon as he caught a glimpse of the clock on his bedside table. They were definitely going to be late for school. 

"Hyung, wake up." Changkyun shook the other boy's body lightly. "We're going to be late for school," he whispered. Wonho remained unstirred for awhile until he snaked his arm around Changkyun's waist, pulling him closer. Wonho snuggled his face against Changkyun's hip. Changkyun rolled his eyes as he scoots closer to Wonho's ear.

"HYUNG, WAKE UP! WE'RE LATE!" he yelled, regretting it almost immediately. He knew he was going to get it later. Yet, he landed a hard smack on Wonho's soft cheek. The sound resonated the room.  _Might as well go all out._  

Wonho sat up abruptly, looking all dazed and confused. The other boy cackled at the sight of his confused hyung. Wonho glowered at the ash-brown haired boy as different shades of red started to form on his pale skin. Wonho heaved an exasperated sigh and reached out for the clock instead. His eyes widen. The digital numbers displayed 7:40 AM and their classes start at 8 AM.

"SHIT," Wonho cursed. He spat strings of curses, throws the clock onto Changkyun's lap. Immediately ran towards the bathroom. Changkyun shook his head. S _illy hyung._

* * *

Both boys messily dressed in their freshly washed school uniforms. Dashed down the flight of stairs, skipped a few steps. Took huge strides towards the front door.

"Boys, are you not going to eat some breakfast?" Mrs. Lim called out. 

"No! Sorry, mom. We are running late," Wonho replied as he tied his shoelaces. She shook her head. She knew they were going to be late. She had already warned them the night before. Clearly, they did not listen to her.  _Such handful boys,_ she grinned. 

Mrs. Lim treated Wonho like her own son. She forbid him addressing her formally. She wanted Wonho to feel comfortable around the Lim family. Showered him with motherly affection whenever he comes by to sleep over. A precious sweet person like Wonho deserved all the love and attention in the world. Love and attention that his own parents were not giving. 

Mrs. Lim gave pecks on both Wonho's and Changkyun's cheeks as they bolted out of the door. 

* * *

 

The two safely past the school gates just before the bell rang, indicating the start of homeroom period.

"So, I'll see you later, Changkyunnie." he lightly squeezed the ash brown's shoulder. Changkyun absent-mindedly stared into his eyes. He does this frequently. It happens too often that it was starting to worry Wonho.

"What's wrong, Kyun? You okay?" Wonho slightly tilt his head, a little worried. Changkyun nodded, reaching out for Wonho's cobalt-striped tie. 

"Your tie, it's twisted." Wonho looked down and checks his appearance. Indeed, he was a mess.

He muttered a word of thanks while trying to fix it. "Bye now, or Hongshik will nag at you," he ruffled Changkyun's ash brown bangs and scurried away to his own class. 

Changkyun remained motionless but he was beaming. He definitely felt something tugging at his heartstrings. He brought his hand up, fixed his bangs.  _I should get going too._


	2. Persistent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He rolled his eyes, "so persistent."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you for the comments, kudos and to those who read till the end! It means so much to me and it motivates me to write even more. This chapter will tell a little more (not all) about Changkyun hehehe. 
> 
> OH AND NEW CHARACTER INTRODUCTION ;-)

 Changkyun walked the lonely stretch of corridor. Not a single soul was roaming around. Everyone else seemed to be in their own respective classes while he took his own sweet time. He hated being here. He missed Wonho already.

* * *

Changkyun was all alone. He had no friends. He has been living abroad for years. No thanks to his father's job. He never had a place where he could call home. They were constantly traveling all over the world. As a result, Changkyun was alienated by every new person he met. In every school he attended, he gets taunted and mocked at. Why? Because he was unable to communicate in their language fluently. After countless of harassments, Changkyun's parents withdrew him from school. He was home-schooled by various tutors instead. Sometimes, his father taught him Science. Ultimately, they felt Changkyun needed proper education and that the child need companions. At long last, they decided to settle down in their own hometown in South Korea when he turned 12.

From that time, he met Wonho, his first true friend. Wonho and Changkyun were no more than neighbours. They had nothing in common; mismatched. Wonho's warm and approachable while Changkyun's cold and reclusive. Despite all the differences, Wonho felt the need to break those walls Changkyun built around him. It was taxing but he endured. Wonho pestered Changkyun day in, day out. Thereafter, Changkyun caved in. He thought maybe having Wonho's company wasn't so bad after all. Changkyun and Wonho became closer when the latter spent more time with the Lims. Changkyun learned how to rely on Wonho more. He followed Wonho like a lost puppy everywhere even up to their current high school. However, Mr. and Mrs. Lim were pleased to see their baby growing and coming out of his shell. Such a shame, Changkyun never made any other acquaintances. He still trusts no one else but Wonho. He only needs Wonho. 

* * *

 Changkyun hesitated entering his classroom. He took a deep breath and sighed. His classmates were scattered everywhere, making a lot of ruckus. He never liked the noise. Sadly, none of them seemed to notice his sudden presence.  _Seems like Mr. Yoon is not here yet._ Changkyun trudged his way to his desk. He personally liked where his desk is located; the back of the class. He set his bag by his desk and sat down. He rested his chin on his hand as he looked out of the window. He exhaled a long, bitter sigh.  _It's gonna be a long day._

"Our classes ends early today though." Changkyun was stunned.  _Wait, did i said it out loud? Shit._ He made sure he kept it in this time.

Changkyun cleared his throat, "I know." He kept a straight face as he turned to the intrusive voice. The other person flashed his pearly whites, revealing his distinctive dimples. Lee Jooheon, the persistent one. Everyone literally stopped being friendly to Changkyun except for Lee Jooheon. Jooheon was certain that if he held out his hand first, Changkyun would take it someday. 

"YA, everyone! Go back to your seats now." Mr. Yoon's loud bellow made everyone scurry back to their seats. Even Jooheon returned to his seat which was in front of Changkyun. Jooheon turned back and winked devilishly. The other boy was appalled. He rolled his eyes,  _so persistent._

* * *

 The school bell rang and it startled Changkyun. His classmates started to disperse. _Oh shit, I fell asleep the whole day._ He wiped his leftover drool with the back of his hand. 

"Lim Changkyun-ssi. Come here now," Mr. Kim, his math teacher called him out. Changkyun was still in a daze. He reluctantly shuffled to Mr. Kim. He knows he is fucked.

"I noticed you were asleep the moment I stepped into the class an hour ago. I didn't wake you up because I'm sure you were probably tired. Are you sleeping well at home though?" Mr. Kim sounded really concerned. 

It took Changkyun a while to process whatever he said. _It was because I was up watching movies._  He looked down out of shame, speechless.

"Sigh... I hope you don't do it again. Your grades are really good but you might miss out on important lessons if you keep doing this." 

Changkyun nodded. Although Mr. Kim is a really nice math teacher, he still found it difficult trying to speak to anyone else but Wonho and his parents. He felt really bad but was trying his best though. Mr. Kim shook his head, knowing he could not get the boy to say a word or two. 

"Off you go." As if on cue, Changkyun grabbed his bag and left the classroom immediately. He missed Wonho. He needs Wonho. Now.

* * *

12th graders classes are on the third level. He climbed the flight of stairs, on his way to find Wonho. He was really eager. He was missing Wonho all day ( _not really. He was asleep, actually)._ He had no clue why was he feeling that way. Changkyun skipped  _(literally)_  towards Wonho's classroom and all of sudden, he stopped in his tracks. There, Wonho towered over a small girl. With milky, white skin. Her soft, silky hair falls right above her shoulder. She has soft features that most girls would kill for. Changkyun felt inferior.  _They look so good together that it's disgusting,_ he thought. Changkyun bit his lips. He felt anger rising. Wonho is his and no one else. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooo clingy Changkyun. 
> 
> Sorry for the short chapter. I'll try to write longer! D:
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Make It Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Help me. Make it stop, please?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Here's chapter 3! 
> 
> Initially, I wanted this fic to be fluffy and little angsty. Somehow, I wrote this chapter and the subsequent ones darker than what I expected. SORRY IN ADVANCE! D:

_What a view._ Changkyun bit his lips. He was feeling rather upset but he doesn't know why or what caused it. Was it because of the lack of sleep? Definitely not. Changkyun had an abundant of sleep during lessons.  _Why why why why why?_ He kept questioning himself. He really felt uneasy standing there. He wanted to get home immediately. But first, he needed Wonho by his side. He absolutely disliked this feeling. Seeing Wonho conversing with anyone else that isn't him, he hated it. He wanted Wonho to stop. 

"Hyung..." He called out as he walked towards the pair. 

Wonho didn't even flinch. He was still laughing away, grinning from ear to ear. That look on his face... He never looked that contented before when he was around Changkyun. Changkyun felt a pang of envy.  _What if he doesn't want me anymore? Please stop, hyung._ Changkyun clutched his chest. His chest was hurting and he was breathing abnormally. Sweat even started forming on his forehead. Oh no, it's happening again.  _Hyung, make it stop._

"HYUNG." He voiced out curtly. It was still so soft that he could barely be heard. Wonho turned around. He still had his smile plastered on. However, that sweet smile short-lived. It slowly disappeared. 

"Changkyun-ah." 

"Hyung, please take me home now," begged Changkyun.

"Um, Chankyunnie, I was about to text you that I was unable to accompany you home. I have a group pro..." Wonho paused. He wetted his lips, "are you okay?" He noticed Changkyun looked out of sorts. 

Changkyun's heart pounded oddly fast.  _Make it stop._ He clenched his fist. It was really hurting him.

"Can you just take me home now?" Changkyun refused to budge. The other let out a frustrated sigh. Changkyun was never this stubborn. He was unusually inconsiderate today. "Changkyun-ah.."

The girl by Wonho's side grabbed his sleeve. "Oppa, is he okay? He looks a little sick. You can accompany him home, you know. It will be fine." 

"Yeseul-ah. I've missed quite a number of meetings these days. I can't miss any now. Plus, I don't think he is sick." Wonho gave Changkyun the side eye.

Damn right, Wonho was implying that he missed most meetings because of Changkyun and Changkyun damn well knew that. He squeezed his eyes shut. He felt he might cry any moment now but he does not want to appear weak in front of Wonho. He took a deep breath and slowly opened his eyes. Wonho noticed his moist eyes but he chose not to say anything. Sometimes, he felt Changkyun needs to give him some space. 

"Nevermind, Hyung. I'm going home by myself." Changkyun turned and walked away. Wonho felt a pang of guilt. He called out the other boy's name repeatedly but he never looked back. Wonho wasn't guilty enough to chase after him. He thought that Changkyun was just a tired mess. He would let the kid cool down by himself. Besides, he has better things to do. 

* * *

Changkyun walked aimlessly. By now, he was already a sobbing mess. He took a sharp turn into a room and slammed the door shut. He slid down and crouched forward, hugging his knees. Changkyun failed to take notice of his surroundings. He didn't realise he was in the school's library. The snarky librarian approached him, attempting to scold him. She failed miserably. Everything around Changkyun turned dark. He began to hyperventilate.  _Make it stop._

Changkyun was engulfed into a warm hug. The stranger pulled Changkyun into his lap and tightened his embrace. 

"Breathe in. Breathe out. Follow my breathing." He took Changkyun's shaky hand and placed it on his chest. His heartbeat was calming. He began to relax. The angel-like stranger stroked the quavering boy's back as he rested his sweaty forehead in the crook of the stranger's neck. Even the stranger's scent soothes him too. He felt strangely comfortable and sleepy.

"Help me. Make it stop, please?" Changkyun whispered as he drifted off to sleep.  

* * *

 

Changkyun sat up on a bed he wasn't used to.  _I've been here but where is this place?_ He wondered.

"Oh, Lim Changkyun-ssi. You're awake. Are you feeling better?"

 _Oh, this is school's infirmary._ Changkyun rubbed his eyes. " Yes, I'm feeling better, thank you. May I ask..." 

"You had a panic attack. A lanky student brought you here. Seems like you fainted out of exhaustion." She assumed these answered Changkyun's burning questions. 

"Oh.. May I know..." 

"He went to get drinks. He will be back." Yet again, this rude nurse interrupted Changkyun. But he didn't mind. He was thankful he didn't have to talk for long. He felt tired.

The door opened carefully. Creaking sounds irked his ears. A head popped in. "Oh hi, you're awake."

That intruder came in with a bottle of mineral water in hand. Just like the nurse said, he was really tall and slender. He has great body proportions and beautiful face features that were to die for. He could easily pass for a model if he wasn't wearing the school uniform. Changkyun's mouth was left agape. He didn't knew such beauty existed within the school's grounds. The boy chuckled at the sight of Changkyun's stunned expression.

"Here you go." He placed the ice cold bottle onto Changkyun's crimsoned cheeks. The poor boy flinched so hard.

"Your face was flushed. I was trying to cool it down." The boy chortled. Seems like once he started laughing, he would not be able to stop. It made Changkyun smile a little. 

"I am Chae Hyungwon." He stretched out his arm for a handshake. Changkyun looked down on Hyungwon's hands. Hesitated to return it. He hates handshakes too. It was too late though. As Changkyun was about to return it, Hyungwon retracted his hand and scratched the back of his head. He laughed awkwardly. Changkyun looked away, awkwardly. His eyes landed on Hyungwon's cobalt-striped tie.  _12th grader, huh? Just like Wonho._ Changkyun's eyes immediately filled with sorrow.  _Wonho..._ The thought of what happened earlier made him feel dejected again. He looked away. He was really close to tearing up again. 

"Hey hey.... It's okay." He took Changkyun's hand and gave it a tight squeeze. It felt warm. Just like the hug they had earlier....  _OH SHIT. I CLUNG ONTO HIM JUST NOW, DIDN'T I?_ Changkyun flinched and got off the bed. He took his bag by the door and ran out. His cheeks turned scarlet red. _How how how how how?_ He hated skin contact with anyone but Wonho. Although, he wasn't going to deny that Chae Hyungwon's embrace was surprisingly comforting. He ran towards the school's exit. He didn't look back. He just wanted to get home and sleep. Badly.

* * *

He opened the front door of his house, greeted by his mother's smile. It was comforting. Indeed, home was his comfort zone. 

"Kyunnie? Wonho didn't come home with you today?" Changkyun ignored that query and ran up to his bedroom. His mother felt Changkyun was being weird but didn't really paid much attention to it.

Changkyun sat on his bed. Still fully dressed in his school uniform. He felt emotionally drained out. He lay down on his side and slipped under his covers. What a shitty emotional roller coaster ride he had today. He regretted acting like that in front of Wonho. What will Wonho think of him now? He didn't mean to. In fact, he still didn't know why he reacted that way. His panic attacks were supposed to be long gone but it came back. And Wonho triggered it. Of all people, Wonho. Changkyun squeezed his eyes shut. Begged his mind to stay clear from these thoughts. 

He fell asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no..... Changkyun. BAD WONHO, BADDD.
> 
> I'm going to edit chapter 1 and 2 a little. I wasn't really happy how it ended up to be.


	4. Gently

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He kissed Changkyun's knuckles gently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay another update in a day!

Changkyun looked into the mirror. Dark circles surrounded his eyes that swell up from all the crying from the night before. He tilted his head. His skin condition was getting worse by day. He grasped the edge of the sink tightly and let out a loud groan. Obviously annoyed by how ugly he beginning to look each day. He walked to his wardrobe and took out a fresh set of uniform. Sighing even more when his eyes lay on his pudgy tummy. He quickly got ready. Dragged his lethargic body down the stairs to grab some breakfast. Mrs. Lim had already laid out the table with bowls of fragrant rice, rolled eggs, and fresh milk. Nothing beats a simple breakfast made by his mother. 

"Good morning, eomma." 

"Good morning, baby. Are you feeling better?" Changkyun remained motionless. He looked down, eyes quivering.  _Did she found I broke down again? Did she? Did she? Did she?_

Changkyun never wanted his precious parents to worry about him again. A few years back in Boston, Changkyun had put their lives in such hell by confining himself in his room. It happened after he was tormented by a group of boys from school. It was so traumatising that he refused to leave his room, making it really exhausting for his parents. Thus, his parents were overjoyed when he finally found a friend, Wonho. Changkyun definitely didn't want this to ever occur again. 

Changkyun shook his head, "what do you mean? I'm fine."

His mother squinted her eyes in doubt. "Wonho came over last night. Told me you were feeling unwell. He was worried you didn't contact him in the evening. He wanted to apologise for..."

She stopped halfway realising Changkyun had already left the dining room without touching the breakfast she made. She huffed.  _This boy._ Changkyun headed for the front door and wore his shoes. 

"Where are you going, mister. Aren't you gonna eat breakfast before leaving?" Mrs. Lim was obviously a little hurt by his action. Leaving without eating the breakfast she painstakingly prepared. 

"No thanks." With that, Changkyun left. He didn't bother to stick around and listen to her objections. He knew he was being rude to his mother but he really didn't want to talk about it. He wasn't in the right mood. Plus, he absolutely didn't want her to know about his break down the day before. It would be better if he avoided the topic as a whole. It would even be better if he could conceal his feelings. 

* * *

He reached school a little early considering the fact he left without eating. He regretted not eating. His stomach growled in agreement. He sighed. Changkyun's classroom was empty. He was glad that no one else was around. He could relax. He sat down and lay his head on his desk. Basking in the soft light rays that penetrated the windows. He felt sleepy, a little too comfortable. His droopy eyes were about to shut when he felt a soft knock on his desk. He sighed inwardly. It was probably Jooheon being pesky again. 

"Yes, Jooheon?" He didn't bother looking up. He was too comfortable in that position. 

"Why did you leave without me?" he asked softly.  _Oh, that's not Jooheon._ Changkyun slowly lifted up his head. Instead of Jooheon, Wonho was seated on Jooheon's chair. He wore a weary look. Dark eye bags underneath his sad eyes. He looked tired. It hurts Changkyun's heart. 

"Eomma said you didn't even eat. Why Changkyun?" he asked again, slightly angry. 

"I don't know." Changkyun didn't know what else to say. He kept playing his fingers. Digging the non-existent dirt underneath his fingernails. He kept his attention anywhere else but Wonho. Acted all distracted. What was he supposed to say anyway? He didn't even know why he reacted that way yesterday. He couldn't control his heart nor his mind. He knew he was overreacting and being really selfish but he couldn't help it.

The silence was getting too awkward. Frustrated, Wonho rubbed his face with both hands furiously. Seized Changkyun's hands in his. 

"Stop that, please," Wonho begged. 

"I'm sorry.. and I'm sorry for..." 

Wonho tutted. Cutting off Changkyun's sentence. Changkyun was taken aback. Was Wonho really angry about yesterday? He looked away. Fighting back the urge to cry again.  _No, I mustn't. No._

"Changkyunnie, I can't have you falling sick. You should have told me you were sick... I'm sorry for not noticing but please let me know the next time. Don't walk away. I'll get worried." Wonho said it so harshly but his expressions betrayed him. He looked genuinely worried. Changkyun wasn't sick. He was in the pink of health. He was relieved that Wonho misread the situation yesterday. Although, he hoped Wonho wasn't as dense eventhough Changkyun had troubled Wonho enough.

"It's okay... I understand." With that, he kissed Changkyun's knuckles gently. Over and over again. It was his way of apologising. Changkyun melted on the inside. The ravenette smiled against his knuckles, resting his head on Changkyun's hands. His cheeks felt warm against the other boy's cold, sweaty hands. Changkyun's cheeks turned rosy pink. His face felt really warm. 

Wonho lifted up his head. The tired, weary Wonho is now gone, replaced with a sweet, pleased Wonho. The boy just couldn't stop smiling. 

"Are you still sick? Your face is turning red." Wonho reached out for Changkyun's forehead. 

"I'm fine, I think," Changkyun assured him that he was feeling fine (because he was never unwell). Wonho nodded, still grinning. Wonho noticed Changkyun's classmates started streaming in. His hands left Changkyun's as he stood up from Jooheon's seat. Changkyun missed it already. Wonho told him that he will come by after school. That he will accompany him home today. He turned to leave. But before he did, he ruffled Changkyun's hair. Changkyun subconsciously leaned into his touch. Changkyun loved it. He wanted more. 

"Kkungkungie," he said as he left. There it was. Wonho's pet name for Changkyun. It has been way too long since Wonho called him that. He really liked being called that. He clutched his chest. It was that feeling again. He missed Wonho already. 

 


	5. Shouldn't have. Would never.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hyung, hug me. I'm cold."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is going to be short. Ohohoho this is in Wonho's point of view! 
> 
> I'm sorry it turned out this way in advance!

This wasn't how Wonho wanted to spend his Saturday. Not by sitting in the middle of Changkyun's room floor, staring at the other sleeping comfortably. Wonho sighed deeply. The room was getting too warm for his liking too. Why was he even perspiring during the cool spring season? That's right. Changkyun hated the cold. So much so that he thought cranking the heater up to almost the maximum temperature was a good idea. Wonho's the total opposite. He hated the heat. Of course, he likes sweating it out by doing physical exercises but he hates it when the weather decided to be a bitch. Now, Changkyun's the bitch. Wonho let out a loud groan but Changkyun remained motionless. 

Wonho got up from the floor and looked over the sleeping boy. Still soundlessly asleep. He sighed at the sight of the little puppy. He couldn't bear to wake him up but he lowered the heater to the minimum anyway. Barely spared a thought for the sleeping boy. Wonho was getting too warm in his knitted sweater. Decreasing the temperature didn't do much justice. Wonho was still perspiring. He took off his grey sweater, revealing a plain white tee. He was even contemplating on taking off his ripped skinny jeans... _OH FUCK IT._ He took it off too. He felt comfortable simply dressed in his daily lounge wear. Wonho slumped onto the floor again, leaning against the bed and began to shut his eyes. This wasn't how he was suppose to spend his Saturday. They were supposed to 'Netflix and chill' but Mr. Im Changkyun fell asleep right before Wonho finished setting everything up. Being the good person he was, Wonho let him be.

Wonho eyes snapped open. He felt Changkyun shivering. He presumed the room was getting too cold for Changkyun.  _Cute,_ he snickered. Wonho stood up. Tugged the blanket from underneath Changkyun's legs while scrutinizing Changkyun's body. He realised that the boy was getting a hell lot skinnier. He sighed. Wonho draped the blanket over the smaller frame. Making sure every inch of him was covered.

"Hyungggggg," Changkyun whined. 

Wonho halted, realising he might have woken up the 'beast'.  _Oh shit, he is going to be cranky when he wakes up._ Wonho backed away, deciding he should evacuate the room while he could. Whiny and cranky Changkyun was someone everyone should steer clear from. Including Wonho. Wonho headed for the door, attempting to leave. 

"Wonho hyung. Hug me. I am cold," he pleaded, sleepily. He barely moved a muscle.

Wonho sighed internally. He went back. _I shouldn't have,_  he thought.Hesitantly, Wonho slipped under the blanket and wrapped his arm around the smaller waist. Wonho pulled him closer. So close that his back was flushed against Wonho. They stayed still for a while until Changkyun shifted. He turned. He nuzzled against Wonho's tightly clothed chest. This made the latter yanked Changkyun forward, bringing Changkyun to a closer proximity. At this moment, Wonho felt frustrated. He let out a low grunt, making Changkyun flutter his eyes open. Changkyun glanced up, searching for answers in his Hyung's eyes. Wonho tried looking away. Keyword: tried.

"Hyung," Changkyun mewled. Wonho's eyes glazed with passion. Changkyun's eyelids slightly hooded with lust.  _Oh, fuck,_  Wonho cursed inwardly.Changkyun was definitely feeling the same way he was. It was mutual. Eagerly, Wonho leaned forward and planted a sultry kiss on the other. Changkyun reciprocated. He parted his lips a little, allowing Wonho's tongue in. Both tongue brushed against each other. Filled the room with lewd sounds. The ravenette caressed the small of Changkyun's back. He whimpered against Wonho's lips, craving for more touch. 

"Hyung, touch me more," he breathed. Wonho grunted as he started nibbling on the nape of Changkyun's. Wonho had his hands wandering under his shirt. His icy cold fingertips made Changkyun shudder. Changkyun tugged at the hem of Wonho's plain white tee, signaling that he was thirsting for more. Wonho took off his shirt, revealing a nicely toned torso that he's proud of. He reached out for the other boy's shirt.

"CHANGKYUN?" Mrs. Lim called her son from below. Her loud voice struck both with a realisation that Changkyun's mother was around while they were fooling around. Changkyun's eyes widened, obviously startled. His face reddened. He placed both palms onto Wonho's bare chest and softly pushed him away. Changkyun got up from the bed, fixed his disheveled appearance and walked out. Left Wonho all alone.

 _What was that..._ Wonho turned, laid flat on his back. He stared at the ceiling. He breathed deeply. _That was intense._

They have done this occasionally whenever Wonho's over at Changkyun place. Fooling around like that although hey never went further than second base. Not only because Changkyun was a shy puppy but mainly because they were mere friends. Wonho frequently wondered when did they start getting intimately close? When did the lines get blurred enough that they are no different from any 'friends with benefits'? Wonho damn well knew normal bestfriends don't do stuff like these. They're far from normal.

Wonho looked down at his tented hard on. Concealed securely underneath his boxers. He growled in frustration, flailing his arms around. Each time after their little rendezvous, Wonho regrets. He felt guilty. He felt sorry. Wonho only likes girls. He never liked boys. He would never like Changkyun. Ever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOPS THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY. not really bUT YEAH D:
> 
> Please tell me if you are unhappy with the plot, I will make changes! Thank you!


	6. Hush baby don't cry.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why do i always see you crying? I wonder why."  
> "Don't cry anymore."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's longer today! I finished writing this at 6:14AM. So there are bound to be more mistakes than usual hahaha.
> 
> ANYWAY, SPECIAL APPEARANCE ;-)
> 
> /whispers i edited the mistakes!/

Changkyun grinned. That was the fourth time this morning. From the moment he woke up til the moment he stepped into the science lab. But it was a mundane Monday morning. Changkyun had a lively expression on while everyone else was feeling miserable. Unintentionally, Changkyun recalled that momentous Saturday. It was the first time they made out intensely, making Changkyun tingly all over. For the first time, Changkyun desired for more. Undoubtedly, Changkyun never understood the nature of their relationship. He knows things between them are getting weirder by day. The more physical they get, the more distance Wonho placed in between them. It makes Changkyun sad. 

"A penny for your thoughts, Changkyunnie?" Jooheon asked jokingly.

 _Oh, it's the persistent one. He's here._ Changkyun gave a curt nod. Jooheon flashed his adorable smile, making small indents in his fluffy cheeks. Changkyun vowed that if one day they ever became friends, Changkyun would poke a finger into one of his dimples. Just one day. His dimples are too adorable to resist sometimes. It makes Changkyun frustrated.

"Anyone sitting here?" He asked while pointing a stool next to Changkyun's. Changkyun shook his head. He really needs to start talking normally to Jooheon. But of course, he couldn't trust anyone else easily. No one else but Wonho. Jooheon took the seat next to his. Changkyun's breathing hitched. Why did Jooheon decide to sit next to him? Usually, he'd sit next to Gunhee at the back of the classroom. They rarely paid any attention to Ms. Yong. Why would one of the trouble makers sit in front right under Ms Yong's nose? He was getting really nervous. Even Jooheon noticed.

"Am I scary?" Jooheon asked, seemingly pouting. Changkyun shook his head with eyes widened. Wow, that was convincing. Jooheon gave out an awkward chuckle. It was cute coming from a boy with menacing tiger eyes. Changkyun might die from all the cuteness. 

"You do find me scary, don't you? Cute. Changkyunnie is cute," said the cuter one. Changkyun flushed red anyway even if he knew he wasn't an inch close to cute. "Don't worry, I won't bite." Jooheon winked and bite the air simultaneously. That was unexpectedly sexy. Okay, that was it. Changkyun decided to gather all his guts and speak normally to Jooheon. That boy screams harmless. He would definitely not hurt Changkyun, that's for sure.

Changkyun finally opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Ms. Yong sashaying into the classroom. Followed by a tardy and sloppy Gunhee. Changkyun named him  _The chaotic one._  Ms. Yong shook her head and shooed him away. Gunhee hurried to the back of the class. But he froze, realising his best friend was seated next to Changkyun instead of their usual seat. Gunhee pouted. "YA, YOU BETRAYER. FOR LOVE YOU LEFT..." Gunhee blurted out loud. Shocked, Jooheon swiftly stood up and covered his mouth before he managed to finish his sentence. The whole class burst out in laughter and smiles. Everyone except for Changkyun. Poor boy, he's confused ( _more of like dense)._ Ms. Yong tutted and got everyone to settle down. Gunhee took the seat on the bench behind theirs, eyeing Jooheon's every move.

* * *

 

The bell rang. 

"Alright guys. Please remember to hand in your group projects assignments on time. I don't tolerate tardiness." Ms. Yong announced, glaring at Gunhee. He was known for being late for every Ms. Yong's classes. Only hers. 

 _Oh fuck._ Yep, Changkyun's fucked. He hates group projects. He's lucky this time though. He got grouped with both of the troublemakers. In his class, they were the only ones he was comfortable communicating with. Jooheon kept smiling throughout the whole lesson. It was creepy but Changkyun likes his carefree smiles. He was going to enjoy this project.

"Ugh, I'm gonna hate this group project." Gunhee groaned. Both Jooheon and Changkyun turned. Oh wow, that declined quickly. That statement diminished every hope Changkyun had.  _Does Gunhee hate me...?_ Changkyun turned away and began packing his bag, rushing to leave. Jooheon noticed the sad look on his Changkyunnie's face. Jooheon squinted his tiger eyes. He was this close to punching his best friend.

"Ya, kid. Better rephrase that damn sentence" Jooheon mouthed his words menacingly to his friend. Changkyun was too busy arranging the apparatuses to notice.  Gunhee gulped. He realised he had phrased his words wrongly. His words had offended someone and his scary best friend.

"ahhhh. I mean I hate Chemistry so much. I suck at it. Um, Changkyun... You're good at it, right? Teach me." Gunhee tried hard. Changkyun's puppy ears perked up. He turned swiftly to Gunhee and nodded his head. Jooheon's heart softened, seeing the puppy getting excited. Gunhee was taken aback. He never knew a serious, anti-social person like Changkyun could actually be this cute. He secretly applauded his friend's taste. 

* * *

 Lunch time. Changkyun was comfortably seated at the school's empty study area where everyone rarely went. It was eerily quiet but Changkyun has always liked this serenity. It calms him. Changkyun never went to the school's canteen. Crowded places scares him. He took out his packed lunch made by Mrs. Lim. Again, no one else could beat Mrs. Lim's cooking. He placed both palms together and thanked the heavens for such a loving mother who bothered cooking for her weird son. He's practically salivating by the end of his prayers. 

 _Oh, I should call Wonho and tell him that I became friends with Jooheon and Gunhee!_ He has to tell Wonho about them. He felt happy. Plus, he kinda missed Wonho since the last time they spoke was on Saturday. He wants to see him. Badly. Changkyun placed the phone over his ear. No one picked up. He tried again and again and again. On his 6th call, Wonho rejected. Clearly, he didn't want to speak to Changkyun.  _Why did hyung rejected my call.... Why why why why._ Negativity took over his mind. He lost his appetite. He covered the container and pushed it away. He lay his head on the table. He felt like crying... Scratch that. He cried. Did Wonho finally found him annoying after years? Changkyun didn't want to entertain his subconscious mind. But that possibility sounded possibly true. Changkyun started sobbing hard. He has always hated how he cries easily. What a baby. 

Changkyun felt someone sat beside him on the bench. He shifted closer to Changkyun. A hand started patting the back of his head. 

"It's okay. Cry all you want if you feel sad. You will feel better." That familiar lazy voice, Changkyun recognised it. He began to cry louder and harder. He never knew why he felt comfortable with this particular stranger. He leaned against the stranger. The latter placed his arm across Changkyun's shoulder and gave a tight, assuring squeeze. Changkyun felt sleepy from all the crying. 

Changkyun lifted up his head and looked at the stranger's pair of brown orbs. Yep, he was right, it was Hyungwon, that 12th grader he ran away from on their first encounter. Hyungwon used the back of his hands and wiped Changkyun's tear-stained cheeks. Changkyun gradually stopped crying.  _Why is hyungwon sunbae always there whenever i broke down._ Changkyun sniffed. No one said anything. Both of them stare into each other's eyes.

"Why do I always see you cry? I wonder why." Hyungwon spoke as if he was listening to Changkyun's thoughts. 

"Don't cry anymore."  _Okay, I won't._ Changkyun obeyed him and stopped crying completely. He dried his tear-streaked face with his sweater paws. Hyungwon lightly pushed his hands away and used his handkerchief instead. It smelled like expensive cologne for a student. In fact, Hyungwon screams extravagant for a mere 18 year old.

"Sunbae-nim, may i lean on you?" Changkyun bravely asked. Changkyun's too sleepy to care whether Hyungwon's a stranger to him. He just need to rest. Thankfully, Hyungwon wasn't repulsed at all. Instead, he swung a leg over the bench and faced Changkyun's direction. He opened his arms widely. It looked welcoming. Without any hesitation, Changkyun let his body fall into the open arms. Rested his head on the other boy's shoulder. What a weird situation. Two strangers, hugging. Not saying a word. Normally, Changkyun wouldn't have done this with any other strangers. This boy, Hyungwon, was an exception. Changkyun felt strangely comfortable around Hyungwon. Hyungwon wrapped his long arms around the smaller puppy-like boy. Embraced him tightly. It reminded Changkyun of the other day when he first broke down in front of Hyungwon. He never expected this to happened again. Hyungwon rested his chin on the crown of Changkyun's head. Caressed his back. Hyungwon drew circles on his back with his thumb.

"Hush," he said. Changkyun fell asleep. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awww friendship like JooGun. andandnanda Hyungwon's always there for kyunnie. I hope they get to know each other better soon D:


	7. Saviour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Help me. Save me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three updates in two days! Thank you for the comments! i really appreciated it. It makes me motivated to write more. Hence, the three updates!

Everything happened in a blur. The door slammed behind him. Changkyun had no idea why he ended up in Hyungwon's family car. A car with an interior that looks exquisitely expensive. He really has no idea why.

He remembered during lunch time, he had fallen asleep on Hyungwon's shoulder for what it seems ages. He missed every lessons he had for the rest of the day. It got worse. He had woken up abruptly on Hyungwon's back. Apparently, Hyungwon had successfully piggybacked him and was taking him somewhere. Poor confused Changkyun tried wiggling away from Hyungwon's hold and run away again. Obviously, not this time round, Hyungwon held onto him tightly, quietly whispered, _"Don't move around. Stay put."_ Changkyun gave up after a few struggles, snaked his arm around Hyungwon's neck. Holding on to Hyungwon for his dear life because he never likes being piggybacked. However, Hyungwon's stable and strong for a thin person. Changkyun had nothing to worry about.

And now he ended up here, all alone with Hyungwon's driver. While Hyungwon left to fetch Changkyun's belongings. Changkyun felt suffocated being around someone he never met before in this small tight space. His breathing hitched. He started to find it difficult to breathe. _Oh no, it's happening again._ Hyungwon's driver looked at Changkyun through the rearview mirror in curiousity. 

"Sir, are you okay?" he asked as he noticed Changkyun clutching his chest. It always happens whenever he's around someone he doesn't know. Ironic, he felt fine with Hyungwon who is a complete stranger to him too.

"No, it's okay. I am fine,"  _I think._ Changkyun let go of his grip and looked outside the window, impatiently waiting for Hyungwon's return. It was getting awkward. Seconds later felt like years, Hyungwon returned with Changkyun's belongings. Changkyun felt a ton lifted off his chest.

"Is this all?" Hyungwon passed them to Changkyun and slammed the door behind him. Changkyun nodded. Hyungwon smiled. He felt Changkyun looked like a puppy waiting for his owner. 

"You know, it's kinda too late to mention this. But you never told me your name," Hyungwon reminded.  _Oh, right._ Now that he had said it, Changkyun remembered running away from Hyungwon, without thanking and telling his name. He was so rude. Immediately, Changkyun turned to Hyungwon and bowed.

"I'm sorry for being rude to you the first time we met. Um, I'm Lim Changkyun.. Um.. um... um, I'm a 10th grader. um.." Changkyun kept his head down. He didn't dare to lift it up and look at Hyungwon's probable furious expression. Hyungwon snorted, ruffling Changkyun's hair. He started cackling a minute straight, still messing up the other boy's hair. Confused, Changkyun glanced up. 

"Sunbae-nim?" he called out, feeling baffled by his sudden outbursts of laughter. Hyungwon placed his hand on Changkyun's shoulder. Rubbed it continuously. 

"No, I was just joking. I'm sorry for scaring you. The nurse told me your name and a little about you. She said you visit the infirmary really often," he paused and bit his lips. Contemplating if he should continue talking.

"You are really cute. Like a puppy getting scolded," he stated it so crudely but it made Changkyun smile anyway. He looked down, trying to hide his crimsoned face. The driver cleared his throat, signalling that they should get going soon. Hyungwon reached out for the belt on Changkyun's side. Changkyun felt small compared to Hyungwon. He also couldn't help but to take a whiff of Hyungwon's scent. It smells exactly like his handkerchief. Changkyun blushed. It smells good and extremely expensive. Changkyun presumed Hyungwon comes from a really rich family. Hyungwon secured Changkyun's belt and his own. The car drove away.

Changkyun and Hyungwon talked about themselves like they were old friends who met after ages. Hyungwon told him about his experiences overseas when he travelled with his family everywhere. Places Changkyun had never been. Hyungwon was a lucky boy with parents that owns a well-known travel agency. Hence, the increase of opportunity to travel everywhere. Changkyun shared itsy bitsy pasts in countries he lived before coming back to Korea. Changkyun felt comfortable with Hyungwon but it wasn't enough for him to spill the beans of his dark pasts. He's still trying to trust him. He's almost there.

The car came to a halt. It was almost evening. The long car ride felt too short. Changkyun still wants to talk to Hyungwon. He had fun listening to Hyungwon's little epic adventures. Changkyun pouted. Hyungwon pats the back of his head. Seeing Changkyun pouting softened Hyungwon's heart. Hyungwon unbuckled Changkyun's belt and went out. Changkyun said a word of thanks to the driver and left too. Hyungwon grabbed Changkyun by the waist and pushed him lightly onto the pavement. Changkyun was startled by his touch.

"You... Don't cry alone again... If you ever feel sad again, find me." Hyungwon said with legitimate concern. He lightly patted Changkyun's cheek.

"Eung.. But how do I find you..." Changkyun asked. _Wow, I did not just ask that._  Never in his whole entire life, he depended anyone else other than Wonho and his parents. He's trying now. He saw that Hyungwon was genuinely concerned. Hyungwon "saved" him twice. He know he can trust him. 

"Good question." Hyungwon reached out for his back pocket and took out his phone. He passed it to Changkyun, urging him to key in his number. Changkyun hesitated but he did anyway. Hyungwon is trustable. No harm in giving him his number. Plus, it's time to make other friends.

"I'll text you later. See you around in school," he paused. "Please take care of yourself. See you Changkyunnie." Hyungwon ruffled the ash-brown hair and went into the car. 

"See you," Changkyun whispered. Changkyun watched the car leave. He touched his head where Hyungwon touched before leaving. He blushed. _I made another friend._ Yes he did. He made another friend aside from Jooheon and Gunhee. He's finally gonna have friends apart from Wonho. Oh, Wonho. Thinking about him made him sad again but he wasn't going to cry again. He has to stop this bad habit of his. Crying for no good damn reason. 

* * *

 

Changkyun came into his room after having a cold shower. He dried his hair with his towel, also trying to shake off the water like a puppy. _DING._ Excited puppy ran to his phone on his bed. He was hoping it would be Wonho. Wonho has not contacted him since lunch time. Changkyun was getting worried. 

 **From: Unknown**  
Hi Changkyunnie. Hyungwon here. This is my number.  
Remember. Call me when you need me alright. I will be there asap.  
Sleep soon. Sweetdreams. Goodnight! :D

Oh it wasn't Wonho. Changkyun felt a little disappointed. He save his number as ' **Chae Hyungwon (saviour)** '. Very cliche but it's true. Instead of replying him, Changkyun went on to kakaotalk and clicked on Wonho's chat.

 ** _To: Wonto hyunggie <3_**  
Wonho hyung... Are you there? I missed you. You never contacted me since last Saturday. I'm getting worried.   
Have I done something wrong... I'm sorry if I made you angry. Please reply me or call me back. I miss you a lot.

And sent. Changkyun really hoped he would reply him. Changkyun started to feel sad again. What if he really did something wrong on Saturday that made Wonho hate him? He squeezed his eyes shut. Trying to fight back the urge to cry again. He lay on his back on his bed, with wet hair. 

He failed. Tear fell simultaneously. It has been few hours but Wonho never contacted him back.  _Why isn't he replying. Why why why.._ Changkyun hates the fact he was this weak. His head and chest started to hurt again.  _Oh, no it's happening again._ He was barely breathing. He beats his chest, trying to make himself breathe. He ended up coughing. He sat up on his bed, choking on his tears. He needs air. He was contemplating on running to his parent's bedroom but he vowed not to worry them again. He picked his phone and dialled  **Chae Hyungwon (saviour).** After a few rings, he picked up.

"Hyung, Help me. Save me." Changkyun begged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooo cliffhanger. I really love hyungkyun sobs.


	8. It was just a dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're here..."
> 
> "Yes, I'm here," he replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been too busy! But here are some updates for everyone!
> 
> /Whispers i personally love this chapter besides Chapter 5/

Changkyun laid motionlessly on his bed. The clock on the wall shows 2 AM. He finally stopped crying. Occasionally sniffing, sobbing. Strangely, he lays awake after crying it out. Usually, he would fall asleep right away.  

It has been an hour since he last spoke to Hyungwon. Changkyun never said anything else. He realised he was being a shithead for calling someone he barely knew, in the middle of the night. Yes, Changkyun did that. Changkyun immediately cut off the line, in fear Hyungwon might reprimand him. Although, the caller on the other side never breathed a word. Hyungwon didn't try calling him back. Hyungwon probably thought he was sleep walking or probably he fell asleep right after. Maybe. That's what Changkyun thought but honestly, Changkyun wished that Hyungwon would call him back and ask if he's doing okay. Fat hope. Over his dead boy, perhaps. 

Changkyun felt weak. Tired. Weak and tired. The word 'tired' is an understatement. Changkyun was extremely drained out. Exhausted by the fact he cries at slightest things. Exhausted by the fact he gets anxious over everything that's probably nothing. He wants to sleep. Sleep and never wake up. But his body wasn't allowing him to. Was that sign? Probably. Perhaps it was a sign for Changkyun telling him that his time isn't up yet. He has still a long way to go. He squeezed his eyes shut. Hoping everything will end soon. 

"Click-clack." That sound. Changkyun peeled his eyes open, swiftly. He sat up on his bed. He listened carefully. 

"Click-clack."  _No way,_ he thought. He scrambled to his window. Yes way. His intuition was right. It was Chae Hyungwon. Outside his house, unkemptly dressed in a plain grey hoodie and lounge pants. A bicycle was thrown aside on Changkyun's front lawn. Hyungwon breathed heavily as he glanced up. His eyes caught Changkyun's. He waved. Hyungwon came after a vague phone call which anyone can pass it off as a prank call. Hyungwon came finding for Changkyun at 2AM. An ungodly hour. 2 Fucking AM. Hyungwon's crazy.  _This is something Wonho wouldn't do..._ he thought. Changkyun felt like crying. Why won't Wonho be there for him anymore? Oh no, there he goes again. Changkyun cried. Again. 

* * *

 

**HYUNGWON'S POV**

Hyungwon panicked. He made weird hand gestures at attempt to make Changkyun stop crying. He paced back and forth. He glanced up and sees that Changkyun was still crying while furiously rubbing his cute pair of eyes.  _OH MY GOD, what am I supposed to do now._ Hyungwon walked up to Changkyun's door, contemplating if he should ring the doorbell.  _No, Hyungwon. You mustn't. You will wake the whole house up. FUCK._ Hyungwon's mind fiercely debating what's right, what's wrong. He shuffled to the front yard and glanced up. Changkyun's missing. Hyungwon went on full panic mode. He scrambled for his phone in his lounge pant's pocket. He called Changkyun. No one picked up.  _What if he...._ Hyungwon smacked his face.  _NO, DON'T THINK THAT WAY,_ reprimanding himself. Moments later Hyungwon heard sounds coming from the front door. This would mean two things: 

1\. Changkyun opened the door for Hyungwon  
2\. Someone woke up and realised a crazy person pacing about on their front yard. 

Two seemed likely to happen. The door opened. Yes. He was right. Changkyun was at the door, still crying. Hyungwon felt something. He felt his heart broke into pieces. He looked at the broken boy and wondered who would ever dare to hurt this tiny boy. Hyungwon went forward. He embraced the other boy.

* * *

 

**BACK TO CK's POV**

Changkyun was still sobbing at the door. He made up his mind to open the door to Hyungwon, letting him in. Not just the physical door, but also the door to his heart. He wants to let Hyungwon in and let him heal his broken heart. Fix him. Make him stronger. Hyungwon pulled him into warm embrace. Yes, this was exactly what Changkyun needed. Hyungwon's comforting hug. With hands still around Changkyun's waist, Hyungwon carefully closed the door behind him. Changkyun's encircled his arms around Hyungwon's neck tighter, taking a whiff of Hyungwon's soft lavender scent. It was soothing and calming. 

"Hyung..." he whined.

"It's okay Changkyun. We may be strangers but I will always be here for you. Remember that." Hyungwon reassured him.  _But why, you don't know me well._ Changkyun couldn't help but to think that way. It was weird but Changkyun did not question further. He nodded. He snuggled deeper into the crook of Hyungwon's neck. They quietly remained there. Embracing one another. Swaying to the left, swaying to the right. It was as if Hyungwon was cradling a baby. Hyungwon never once questioned Changkyun over what happened. Instead, Hyungwon comforted the other boy with silence, warm cuddles and occasional caressing. Changkyun felt comfortable. He felt safe. He felt safe in Hyungwon's arms. An absolute stranger. A newcomer in his life. 

"Hyung? I am sleepy." Changkyun whined like a baby. He lifted up his head and gazed into Hyungwon's eyes. Hyungwon looked really exhausted. Too exhausted. Changkyun felt guilty. Making someone come all the way here just because he was feeling sad and needy. He was selfish. 

"Hyung, I am sor..." Hyungwon placed a finger on Changkyun's pouty lips. 

"I know what you're going to say but please, don't. I'm glad you're feeling better now. Really. Don't apologise. Don't apologise for feeling sad." 

Hyungwon sounded really sleepy. His voice was raspy and as low as the floor of hell. It broke Changkyun's heart further. 

He continued, "If you feel bad, lend me your bed. I could use some sleep right now. I will leave in the morning." his eyes drooped. He shook his sleepiness away. Changkyung nodded enthusiastically. At least, he could do something to lessen his guilt.

* * *

Changkyun led the sleepy boy to his bedroom. He felt shy letting him in but it was too late. Hyungwon's inside, amazed by how organised Changkyun's things were.

"I love cleaning," Changkyun whispered, noticing Hyungwon admiring his clean room. Hyungwon snickered and ruffled the little puppy. It was nice to see Changkyun stopped crying. Hyungwon sat on Changkyun's fluffy bed, laying on his side. Immediately, Hyungwon went out like a light. Changkyun's amazed by how fast Hyungwon falling asleep. It made Changkyun smile but deep down, he was still self-loathing for making Hyungwon travel on a bicycle for him. He sighed. He covered Hyungwon with his blanket and turned to leave, heading for the couch in the living room. Hyungwon grabbed him by the wrist. Of course, no one could fall asleep immediately. Hyungwon was still awake but he still had his eyes closed.

 "Where are you going? This is your room. Sleep here." 

Without waiting for Changkyun's response, Hyungwon pulled him and Changkyun landed on the slender boy. However, Hyungwon was unfazed by the other boy's sudden weight on him. Hyungwon held Changkyun by his sides and pulled him to his right. He scooted nearer to the edge of the bed, making space for the owner. Changkyun's flushed from the sudden contact on his waist. He sort of likes getting touched there. 

"Goodnight Changkyunnie. I'll see you later," he mumbled, almost incoherently. G _oodnight and thank you, saviour_. Changkyun didn't say it out loud. He's tired. It was a very long day for Changkyun. A fucked up day for Changkyun. Hyungwon managed to save it but why would a mere stranger go a mile for someone he just met?   _Maybe he is a nice person with a kind heart._ He smiled. He diligently prayed to the heavens may Hyungwon find happiness in everything he does. A kind person like him deserves all the love in this world.  _Amen._ With that, he drifted off to sleep. A very deep sleep. 

* * *

 

Changkyun woke up. His bed was empty. No Hyungwon. He searched around his room. Not a single soul. Everything was in place. Like no one else had entered.  _It was just a dream, wasn't it?_ Changkyun bitterly laughed. That's probably it. A dream. Because no one would travel a distance only to comfort the fuck out of him. That's entirely impossible. He's a nobody. Although, Changkyun hoped that it was real. Changkyun checked for notifications. There wasn't any. No messages from Wonho. None from Hyungwon either. He sighed. His day hasn't started but he wanted it to end already.

Changkyun took a longer time to prepare for school. He lost his mood. Because:

1. It's going to be another day of Wonho ignoring him.  
2\. If he sees Hyungwon around, it's going to be awkward.   
3\. Another round of Changkyun breaking down. 

Changkyun took sluggish steps down the stairs and into the kitchen. He stopped moving. 

"Morning, baby. Are you feeling better?" Mrs. Lim rushed to Changkyun's side and engulfed her precious baby. Changkyun was speechless. 

"I'm sorry for not noticing you were feeling bad, baby. I'm really sorry. I should have paid more attention to you." His mother gave him a small peck on his cheeks. Changkyun was still unfazed. His eyes were not on his mother. His eyes were fixed on a messy-haired boy in that same grey hoodie. Chae Hyungwon. That same Chae Hyungwon that cycled a distance for Changkyun. That same Chae Hyungwon from yesterday. Hyungwon had his chin rested on the palm of his hand, while sipping on a warm coffee. It was definitely not a dream. Hyungwon's real.

"You're here..."

"Yes, I'm here," he replied with a devilish smirk. Changkyun grinned back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES more hyungkyun moments. Shits gonna get real the next chapter. Be prepared! D: 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	9. Heart hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No, stop saying sorry. I'll kiss you if you don't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes another one! Sorry for the typos or grammar mistakes. I was rushing this!

"I'm sorry..." Changkyun said while getting on the bike behind Hyungwon. Hyungwon sighed. 

"I told you, no sorries." Changkyun kept quiet.

And there they go riding into the quiet park, the usual pathway that Changkyun took to school with Wonho. This time it was different. It was with someone else instead. Changkyun really thought of calling Wonho again but Changkyun wasn't sure if he could handle another rejection again. The silent rejection Wonho's giving. He took a deep breath of the fresh air. He encircled his arms around Hyungwon's waist. He rested his head against Hyungwon's warm back. This wasn't so bad after all. 

"Are doing okay behind there, Kyunnie?" _Oh, Kyunnie._ That's one of many nicknames Wonho used on him.  _No, don't think about him._ Changkyun nodded against Hyungwon's back. The whole ride was silent. It wasn't an awkward silence though. It was peaceful.

There, they arrived. In front of the school's main gate. Many students were streaming in. Busy chatting with one another. Changkyun got off the bike and said his words of thanks, about to bolt off. Hyungwon pulled him back. 

"I'll see you soon, alright? I have to get home and change before coming back here."

".... You will be late."

"For umpteenth time, it will be fine, Kyunnie. It's just Ms Yong's science lessons. I will be fine."

"... But you told me you're bad at science in general." Hyungwon chortled. It's true Hyungwon's bad at Science. Be it physics, biology, or chemistry. He sucked in everything. He needed to attend her every lesson to help himself but there's no way he was able to attend any classes in this outfit. 

"Yes, I know but I have you, don't I?" Hyungwon paused. Changkyun started to feel his cheeks getting warm. "I mean... I could get you to teach me Science, right little einstein?"  _Oh, that's what he meant._ Hyungwon kept laughing when he noticed how embarrassed Changkyun became. It's really fun teasing him. 

"Okay and I'm sorry. You're going to be late because of me." Changkyun looked down, guilty. Kicking little stray rocks on the ground. 

"No, stop saying sorry. I'll kiss you if you don't." 

That made Changkyun widened his eyes. Hyungwon just realised what he said. He became flustered. 

"Bye. See you" With that, he ride away immediately.  _Did I hear that correctly? Oh my god._

* * *

The day went by so slowly. It was already lunch time. Changkyun's off to his usual spot. He scrambled for his phone in his pocket. He received kakaotalk messages from the lanky boy.

 **Chae Hyungwon (saviour):** I'm in school already.  
**Chae Hyungwon (saviour):** I got scolded by Ms Yong. I'm in the staff room now.  
**Chae Hyungwon (saviour):** But it's okay. I don't mind D:  
**Chae Hyungwon (saviour):** It's already lunchtime. Do you wanna eat together? :D

Changkyun smiled.  _This hyung is weird._ Changkyun began typing away replies to Hyungwon. He paused. He looked up from his phone and a group of people was already there, conquering his spot. It was none other than Wonho and friends. Even, that girl, if he could remember correctly, Yeseul, was there. She was clinging onto Wonho's right arm. Changkyun looked away. It hurts. They were laughing boisterously. Changkyun hates it. But Wonho's right there. Changkyun could run to him and hug him.  _No, he is with his friends. I mustn't._ Instead, he carefully approached them. 

"Wonho hyung..." He called out. No one noticed his presence. Again. 

"Wonho hyung," he called out, a little louder this time. All heads turned to him. He felt small. All of them looked intimidating. Changkyun's petrified. Wonho's eyes widened but he looked away and continued talking. The others looked at both of them weirdly. 

"Yah, Wonho. Do you know this boy?" the blonde boy asked. He looks like a little sunshine but sounded very intimidating. 

"No, I don't," He said it so curtly, still facing away from Changkyun.  _Oh, don't i ever existed in your life?_ Changkyun thought, resisting the urge to cry again. Not in front of these people. But Wonho's harsh words slit his chest in a painful manner. It really hurts. Changkyun trudged towards Wonho and grabbed his free hand. 

"Wonho hyung, why are you ignoring me like this?" Yep, at this point, Changkyun's tears rolled down his cheeks freely. He couldn't help it. He's in pain. His heart is stinging badly. Wonho knew his own weaknesses was Changkyun's anguished expressions. His tear-stricken face. Wonho pushed him anyway and he fell. His palms got scratched in the midst of breaking the fall. He bled. Of course, the pain he is physically feeling right now, couldn't even match up to the pain his heart's feeling right now. 

"Ew, Wonho. Who is this faggot?" the other boy, who seems smaller than Changkyun, indirectly insulted Changkyun.  _A faggot, huh? Is this how Wonho sees me as?_ Their laughter got louder and louder. They kept throwing insults and curses at him, taunting him. Changkyun's breathing hitched. Wonho knew Changkyun's breaking down again but he wants nothing to do with Changkyun anymore. This was the only way. 

"Yah, stop that. Let's just go." They were still laughing as they stood up. Even Wonho. He paused for awhile and looked down on Changkyun.

"Pathetic," he said and walked away with Yeseul in tow. She's stunned. She knew exactly who Changkyun was. She opened her mouth to say something but walked away, linking her arms with Wonho. 

That was it. That last word.  _Pathetic._ That last huge blow he received from Wonho. It hurts. Changkyun clutched his chest with his bloody hands. _It hurts._ Changkyun found it harder to breathe every second. _It fucking hurts._  

* * *

**HYUNGWON's POV (again)**

"Yes, I know. I won't do it again. I'm sorry, Ms Yong." Those are Hyungwon's own words but his words didn't match his absolute sassy expressions. He looked bored. Unrepentable child. Ms Yong realised nothing she says would get through his thick skull. Another annoying student.

"Just like Song Gunhee," she said, not even trying to hide her vexed expression. 

"Excuse me?" 

"No, nothing you may go." She waved him off. He took his bag by her table and scrambled away. He does not want to stay a minute longer in this room. It was suffocating. All his teachers looked at him with disdain. Why not? All he does is nothing but falling asleep in their classes. They got tired of it. But Hyungwon's smart anyway. Literally good in everything. He passed every subjects with flying colours except for science. He thought it was pointless learning about it. Just like math but he was darn good in that so that's beside the point. The point is, he HATES science. Really. 

He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. _It must be that boy._

 **Puppy Kyun!:**  you're a weird hyung  
**Puppy Kyun!:**  But it's okay. I don't mind D:  
**Puppy Kyun!:**  Sure. I'm at my secret spot :D   
**Puppy Kyun!:**  See y

Hyungwon smiled at the cute little texts Changkyun sent. _He didn't complete his sentence. Cute._  Hyungwon's glad that he sounded a little happier. He felt excited seeing Changkyun again. He literally didn't mind spending his whole day with a small puppy like Changkyun. It's entertaining. 

"HYUNGWONNN~" A blonde sunshine ran towards Hyungwon and clung onto him.  _Not this person again._ He rolled his eyes, jokingly

"Oh, come on. I know you're happy to see me. Where were you?"

"Minhyuk get off me." He managed to peel the little sunshine off him. It was getting annoying 

"I came after her lesson. She saw me so she gave me a lecture in the staffroom." He skipped little details like how Ms Yong chased Hyungwon in the hallway after spotting him. They do not need to know that. 

"We thought you finally decided to quit school," said the small one. 

"Shut up. I won't, sadly. You have to bear with my presence, shortie." 

Kihyun was about to fight the taller one. He's a little sensitive when someone calls him short. He hates it but Hyungwon obviously don't care about his feelings.

"Ya, ya. You two. Can you stop fighting for once?" Wonho spoke with the girl in tow. _Hmm, that girl._ Hyungwon has always found her a little sketchy and too quiet. He wondered why did Wonho changed his mind about her.  She looked away. She knows that Hyungwon sort of disliked her. 

"We're hanging out at the canteen instead. A weird faggot ruined our mood," Minhyuk said it with such disdain. Hyungwon squinted his eyes.

"Where were you?" he asked, begging that his intuition was wrong.

"Ah we were at the study area behind the school garden. Why?"  _Oh fuck. What have they done to him._ Hyungwon became flustered but he remained calm on the outside. He took huge strides past them. 

"Ya Hyungwon where are you going?" Wonho called out. 

"I have something to do." he said, bolting off.  _Please please. Let nothing happened to him. Please._

* * *

 

 _No. No._ His eyes lay on the crouching boy on the ground. Just like when Hyungwon met him in the library.  _What did they do him? Why is this even happening?_

Hyungwon approached him carefully. 

"Changkyunnie?" he called out. The boy responded with sniffled sobs. Hyungwon immediately pulled the other boy into a hug. 

"Hey, it's okay. I'm here. You will be fine." Hyungwon glanced down on Changkyun's face. Changkyun had his eyes opened but he wasn't saying a word. He was staring into an empty void, tearful. Hyungwon heaved a sigh of relief. He was glad the boy didn't black out like that day. 

"Hyung, why does Wonho hyung hate me so much?"

_Wait Wonho. These two know each other?_

"I didn't do anything wrong. What did I do? Was i so annoying? Does he finally hate me?" Changkyun kept asking questions Hyungwon didn't know how to answer. He didn't even know that they were close. Hyungwon noticed Changkyun bloody hands on his chest. Hyungwon's heart hurts. It hurts. And Wonho's gonna pay. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made him into a hateful character D: I'm sorry.


	10. No one's supposed to know.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If only I was normal. Everything would be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been busy! But i couldn't stop myself from updating hahha. This is a little rushed but i hope you guys liked it!

**WONHO'S POV**

"Are you sure no one is at home?"

"Yes. No one else is at home. My parents are never at home." Wonho replied for what it seems the fifth time Yeseul asked. He rolled his eyes.

* * *

 

He's tired of it. Tired of people asking his parent's whereabouts. Because they're never around. His mother's schedules are fucked up as a designer therefore she rarely comes home. Even if she did, it was solely for resting before she goes out again and restart the neverending vicious cycle. On another hand, Wonho's father's an ordinary office worker under a huge electronic company in South Korea. He works out of station most of the time, claiming he had important 'work things' to take care of. However, Wonho knew that his father was being dishonest. His father has an affair. Wonho knew. He has seen it all. Both of his parents were never home. Never around to check if their only child doing well or not. Wonho seldom received any calls from them either. Only occasional messages mentioning they had already settled bills. They do give him monthly expenses. Sometimes, he received more than he needed. But that also means that they are not coming home for the month. Wonho was lonely.

It went on like this for a long time. Until the Lim family moved in next door. He treated them like his own parents. They took care of his meal, praised him, showered him affection like his parents should have done. Also, Changkyun's his pillar of strength. Whenever he felt unwanted, his puppy's always there. But then things took the wrong turn. Wonho has fucked up big time.

* * *

Yeseul sauntered over to Wonho, who was comfortably sprawled on his bed. She sat by his side. 

"So, is it okay for us to..." she carefully asked, noticing his annoyed expression. 

"Yeah. I guess," he glanced at her.  _I'm going to regret this._

Wonho pulled her by the waist as she easily straddled him. Caressed the small of her back. Wonho placed his lips on hers, frustratingly craved for more. It has been too long since the last deed with Changkyun.  _Oh Changkyun._ He misses Changkyun. A lot.  _This doesn't feel right._ Her hands were all over Wonho but he wasn't feeling it. Usually, moments like these turns him on. An image of Changkyun appeared on Wonho's mind.  _Changkyun._ Simultaneously, his phone rang. It was that ringtone. Which he set specifically set for Changkyun. He pulled away from her hold immediately. Took huge strides to the other side of the room. It was too late. The caller hanged up before he could answer. He sighed.

"Who called you?" Yeseul sounded irritated

"Oh, I don't know. Probably wrong number."  He lied to appease her.  _it's Changkyun..._ He sighed again.

Wonho felt arms encircling around his waist. 

"Why are you sighing? You're with me now. Aren't you happy about it?" She rested her head against his broad back. Although she whispered so softly, Wonho could sense the authoritativeness in her voice. He sighed inwardly this time.

Wonho wanted to call Changkyun back badly. He wanted to apologise. What he did this afternoon was out of line. He made Changkyun cried again. Jeered, mocked at him, hand in hand with his friends. He didn't mean to. His heart hurts when he sees his puppy cried like that. He swore that it was unintentional. 

His phone went off again. This time it was Hyungwon.  _Why is he calling me at this timing?_ Yeseul backed away, stomping her way towards the bed. He heaved a sigh of relief, secretly thanking Hyungwon for calling. He's not ready to do 'it' with Yeseul. 

"Hello Hyungwon, what's up?"

"Are you free now? You better be."

"Why? miss me?" Wonho asked jokingly.  

"No." Hyungwon's tone of voice was so serious that it was starting to creep Wonho out. He cleared his throat, unsure what comes next.

"I need to speak to you. In fact, I'm already outside your door."

Wonho's dumbfounded. He never told his friends where he lived. Why would Hyungwon know? 

"How did you know? I never told all of you."  the person on the other end of the line went quiet. Wonho was suspicious. He turned to look at Yeseul, using her phone.  _Can't be. She just found out today._ Wonho facepalmed. 

"I'm coming down." he ended the call. He told Yeseul that she should stay up here before he left the room. Wonho opened his front door to a displeased Hyungwon. He hasn't seen Hyungwon like that in a long time. The last time was when Ms Yong deliberately failed him.  _Why is he so angry now?_

"Come in." Wonho ushered him to the living space. Hyungwon sat on one of the sofas, with knitted brows. Hyungwon clasped his hands together, looking down. The atmosphere around the living room was intense. Wonho felt intimidated.

"You want water?" 

"No, just sit." Hyungwon commanded. Wonho sat down instantly. Funny how he's being controlled in his own home. Wonho wasn't liking the situation. His friend's obviously angry for a reason he's unsure of. Or he might even be the reason why. And he was right. 

"I want to talk about this afternoon. About Changkyun." Hyungwon frowned at Wonho. _Chang.. Changkyun. How did he know about Changkyun?_ Wonho's stumped, tongue-tied. He never told anyone about Changkyun, not even his close friends. He kept mum about his bizarre relationship with Changkyun. Changkyun's his dirty little secret. No one's supposed to know.

Wonho looked down. Guilty. Hyungwon tutted, certainly exasperated. He ran through his hair with his fingers as he stood up. Hyungwon grabbed the collar of Wonho's plain tee. 

"Yah, what did you do to Changkyun?" Wonho shoved Hyungwon away. 

"Talk things out slowly, will you? And how did you know Changkyun?" Jealously started boiling deep in Wonho's heart. As far as he know, Changkyun never had any other friends. No one else but Wonho. 

Hyungwon took a deep breath, calming himself. 

"It's a long story. I knew him way back before he officially know me. But that's not important now. I just wanted to know what did you do to Changkyun," he spoke calmly now but there's still a hint of anger in his voice. 

 _What is that supposed to mean?_ Wonho squinted his eyes. 

"You made him cry this afternoon, didn't you? That boy was so broken and hurt when I found him. Blaming himself. Saying things like he wasn't good enough for you and whatnot. I finally understood why he kept crying these days. It was because of you." Hyungwon looked genuinely hurt. Which made Wonho more puzzled.

Wonho bit his lips. He knew that he was the one who probably made Changkyun that way but he wasn't going to admit it. Egoistic bastard.

"You don't even know what Changkyun and I are. You should stay out of this. Friends or not, just fucking stay out of this." 

"I may not know. But I just can't stand by and watch the person I like getting hurt by my own good friend." 

Wonho was taken aback. His hearing must have failed on him.  _Hyungwon? Likes Changkyun?_ So many WHYs, or HOWs filled his mind. His brain refused to understand what Hyungwon had just said. Hyungwon turned on his heel and left the house. Wonho remained frozen, confused.

Hyungwon came back. 

"Better fucking apologise. I'll fuck you up, if you don't. I don't wanna lose a good friend over this." He left, for real. 

 _Good friend, huh?_ Wonho thought. They have been good friends from when they first entered this high school. Hyungwon's a far cry from Wonho but they became friends anyway. It would be a waste if he loses a good friend like Hyungwon. Hyungwon' _s right._ Even if he was blowing things out of proportion. He has to apologise. It would mean he will lose both precious people if he chose not to. Wonho looked down on his hands. Those hands that shoved Changkyun away. Changkyun was clearly hurt by his selfish actions. That's it. He must apologise. He don't wanna see his precious puppy hurting no more. 

Wonho turned to get his phone. Stopped, realising Yeseul was there all along. She looked into his eyes. A little hurt. A little livid. 

"You're gay, oppa?" Yeseul waved his phone at him. Wonho's eyes widened. He tried snatching it away from her but she was too fast.  _This fucking bitch._ She managed to unlock his phone. Or more of like he had forgotten to lock it after ending the call with Hyungwon. Yeseul shamelessly started scrolling down his phone, in front of the owner. 

" _Kkungkungie_ with a heart emoji beside his name. Aww, how cute and how gay."

 _She's fucking reading my chat with Changkyun._ His blood's boiling. Yeseul's purposely provoking Wonho. If Yeseul was a guy, he would have punch her already but he had to endure her antics. 

" _Hyung, I feel lonely. Eomma isn't at home,"_  she paused. " _Do you want Hyung to come over and hug you?"  she laughed maniacally_

"Oppa, you're disgusting." 

"I gave my love. Almost lost my virginity. To a fag like you." yeseul teared up. He looked away, couldn't bear the guilt looking at her hurt expression. Wonho felt bad but he chose not to say a word. Because it was true. He was using her. To straighten his life again. To be an ordinary boy again, liking girls normally. Because his questionable feelings for Changkyun are toxic. It's suffocating him. It needed to be eradicated. That was why he accepted her despite her relentless harassment which included forcing her feelings onto him. 

"Pathetic," she says as she thrusted his phone against his chest, storming off in anger.

Wonho felt like crying. Today wasn't his day. It was never his day everyday. No one was supposed to know his feelings for Changkyun. No one. Not Yeseul. Not even Hyungwon. The reason he never told his friends was because they're known to be homophobic. Especially Minhyuk. He will not waste a single chance to taunt at every weakling gays. What will happen if they knew about Wonho's feelings?  _I'm a coward._ Exactly. He's a big time coward. He had forsaken Changkyun before his friends because he was afraid. Afraid that he might suffer the same treatment as the 'others'. 

Wonho felt bad towards Yeseul for using her. He felt bad towards Hyungwon because he also has feelings for Changkyun too. Worse, he was a total dick towards his puppy, Changkyun. He don't deserve Yeseul's love. He don't deserve Hyungwon's friendship. He don't deserve any of Changkyun's tears. He's a jerk and will always be. 

_If only I was normal. Everything would be fine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate yeseul but i feel bad for her. 
> 
> P/S: I lovelovelove minhyuk and kihyun. i have nothing against them but someone has to play the bad guy D:
> 
> p/p/s: I'm really bad at writing smut. I wanted some hetero 'actions' to happen between yeseul and wonho. BUT I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW D:
> 
> p/p/p/s: Finally, we found out wonho actually likes changkyun too but he didn't want to admit D:


	11. Still alive.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm still alive, he snickered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for confusing you guys but this was on the day Wonho and friends insulted Changkyun!
> 
> p/s: WARNING. there are some triggering scenes here D: 
> 
> Sorry and enjoy!

**HYUNGWON'S POV**

Light of the day drained away as the sun sets. Street lights illuminate the boys' way through the park. Hyungwon glanced over to his right, the younger's ash-brown hair bobbed as he strolled alongside him. Hyungwon sighed internally.

So many questions on his mind, all left unanswered. 'What had happened?', 'what did Wonho do to Changkyun?' or 'what is Wonho to Changkyun?'. Changkyun didn't bother answering any. More of like he was too broken to say a word or two. Yes, he remained muted throughout their early dinner. Hyungwon figured it might make Changkyun feel better by treating him to a 'lavish' dinner. He thought wrong. He barely ate, making Hyungwon force food down Changkyun's throat. He exhaled loudly this time. Silence remained as they walk.

* * *

"Well, I hope you are feeling better," whispered hyungwon as they stood on the front porch of Changkyun's home. Hyungwon stroked the younger's hair. The brunette leaned against the touch, slowly closing his eyes. Cliche as it seems, Hyungwon's heart skipped a beat.  _What a beauty._ Indeed, Changkyun's a beauty. His long lashes swept across his cheeks as he had his eyes closed. The muted lights from above highlighted parts of his soft structured face.

Hyungwon sighed, "A real beauty." Changkyun's eyelids fluttered open, glaring into the lanky's eyes. 

"Pardon me?" 

Hyungwon shook his head profusely. That wasn't meant to be said aloud. Hyungwon pulled Changkyun into a hug to hide his embarrassment. Poor Chankgyun, he's confused but he hugged him back anyway. 

"Please feel better soon. I need to see your smile again." 

"But.. I've never smiled when I'm with you." 

"You ever did. So, please, smile again." 

Hyungwon broke the embrace, grinning. Changkyun had a confused expression on, making Hyungwon grin wider. Changkyun looked away. Looking sadly at the neighbouring house. It made Hyungwon wonder. 

"What's wrong, Changkyunnie?"

"...I wonder what is Wonho doing now?"

"He's... your neighbour?"

Changkyun nodded. Now it all makes sense to Hyungwon. It all makes fucking sense. Subtle anger started boiling deep inside Hyungwon. The urge to invade Wonho's house and go on a rampage. Wonho never told Hyungwon where he lived. Hyungwon thought it was suspicious. They've been friends for years. Now, it made sense. He needs to know more.

"Well, go inside now."

"Okay... Goodnight." 

Hyungwon waited til Changkyun gets inside safely before turning away. Nope, he's not going home now. He couldn't. He headed straight for Wonho's. Hesitating and contemplating if he should barge in or be a nice civilian. Hyungwon rummaged for his phone in his pockets and punched Wonho's number in. He opted for the latter.

"Are you free now? You better be."

* * *

**CHANGKYUN'S POV**

Changkyun closed his front door behind him. Took out his phone from his back pocket. Fiddle with it and placed it on his ear. He was calling Wonho. He couldn't resist. He misses Wonho. Even after that little incident with Wonho and friends. He still misses Wonho. Changkyun ended the call knowing Wonho would never pick it up. 

Changkyun called out to his mom in the living room, "Eomma."

"Yes, honey, your dinner is on the table, if you hadn't eaten."

"I ate already. Eomma, don't wake me up." Mrs Lim was about to protest but looking at her tired son, she let him be. 

Changkyun set his bag by the bed. His phone vibrated in his pocket. Of course, it wasn't Wonho. It was Hyungwon.

 **Chae Hyungwon (saviour):** Hi kyunnie, I hope you are feeling better. Have a good sleep. I'll see you tomorrow morning. Goodnight! :D

Changkyun ignored. Don't get him wrong. He was thankful for Hyungwon. For the treat. For being gentle. For being patient. For trying. But Changkyun wasn't trying at all. He was still feeling shitty as ever. He had masked his heartache with a deadpan expression, silent voice. To stop Hyungwon from worrying about him even more.  He had bothered Hyungwon enough. He wants to stop. No, he needs. 

Changkyun slid into his chair. Blobs of tears hit his study desk.  _No, stop._ He's crying again. After all the comforting Hyungwon did. Changkyun's crying again. The small table mirror reflected his horrendous expression. Blotched face, bloodshot eyes.  _No wonder he hates you. You're a crybaby. And ugly._ The thought of Wonho pushing him away this afternoon broke his heart. It makes him wanna end everything. Yes, he's going to end everything.

His eyes fell on the pencil holder filled with stationeries. He reached out for the penknife. Slides it, revealing a rusty, sharp blade. Brought the blade closer. The cold metal touched the soft skin on the underside of his forearm. He glided it. Piercing through his skin. Pressed the blade deeper and deeper. Unfathomable amount of immense pain spreads throughout his body. He hates it. It hurts. But he won't stop. He can't stop. He needs to end it. Thick, scarlet blood oozed out from the tiny cut. He made another cut. Another one and another one. He wasn't satisfied.  _I need to end it now._

* * *

 _I'm still alive,_  he snickered.He lifted his head off the desk. It was already morning. He looked around. Small patches of dried up blood stained his white desk. He had fallen asleep. Still holding on to the rusty penknife. His cuts on his wrist had already clotted up. His body screams in pain as he stretched.

Changkyun's still alive. _What a joke_. He trudged his way to his closet and picked out a hoodie. He needed to hide it. From his mother. From Hyungwon. Even if the weather was getting warmer, he has to hide.

Changkyun left the house without eating breakfast. There, just as promised, a sleepy Hyungwon, waited for Changkyun. Hyungwon waved, with a huge goofy grin plastered on his face. For sure his aura and his real personality don't match at all. It made Changkyun laugh softly. 

"Why are you laughing?"

"Nothing."

"Are you feeling better?" 

Changkyun nodded. Lies. Blatant lies. He's not feeling better. Not after what happened last night. Not at all. Changkyun felt guilty. His eyes quivered, pulling down on his hoodie's sleeves. Attempting to cover it up. Changkyun immediately looked away. _Hyungwon mustn't know._ Changkyun's afraid. Afraid that Hyungwon might hate him for being weak and pathetic. Just like Wonho does. 

Speaking of the devil. Changkyun's eyes accidentally fell on Wonho, who's leaving his house. Changkyun's heart ache. His eyes stung with tears, threatening to fall.

"Hyung..." He pulled the hem of Hyungwon's sleeve, realising Wonho was already on the move towards the pair, fuming. Changkyun hid behind Hyungwon. 

"Hyung... Take me away now." He begged. He's afraid. Wonho, the nice and cheery boy, looks furious. He wouldn't be able to handle if Wonho's starts spurting angry curses at him.

"Ya, Changkyun." Wonho huffed. 

Hyungwon turned and noticed Wonho was approaching them. He grabbed Changkyun by the shoulder and carefully shoved him into the passenger seat of his car. He glared at Wonho hard. He went in too, commending the driver to start driving.

"Why is he so angry at me..."

Hyungwon never breathe a word. He was speechless. He took Changkyun's hand in his and held it tightly. Assuring that he will be fine. 

* * *

 

Cold, weird stares from everyone but Hyungwon seemed not to mind a bit. Changkyun still has a death grip on Hyungwon's hand as they walked to Changkyun's classroom as he had offered to accompany Changkyun to class. 

"Changkyunnie, if you are not feeling fine, I will bring you home right away, alright? Just call me, I will be there," Hyungwon assured Changkyun as they reached.

Changkyun looked into Hyungwon's eyes, blankly. He doesn't want Hyungwon to leave him. 

* * *

 

"Ya, Jooheon. Fuck you."

"No, Fuck you. Ah, someone's blocking our classroom's entrance."

Gunhee and Jooheon halted as soon as they noticed a sullen Changkyun clinging onto Hyungwon, whom they don't know. 

"I heard that, Jooheon."

"Heard what?"

"I heard... The sound of your heart breaking!"

"FUCK OFF!" 

Jooheon stomped past Gunhee, who kept on laughing while exaggeratingly clutching his chest. Jooheon's angry because it's true. His huge crush is clinging onto another guy.

"Morning Changkyun!" singsong Jooheon, completely ignoring the presence of Hyungwon. Changkyun paid no attention to him either. Jooheon's heart broke. Jooheon noticed the how sullen Changkyun was. He wants to hug the fuck out of Changkyun because the puppy was strangely silent and depressed. 

"It will be fine, okay?"  Hyungwon whispered.

Changkyun finally loosens his grip on Hyungwon's arm and went inside. Jooheon and Hyungwon was left dumbfounded. They looked at each other.

"Um, you're Changkyun's friend right?"

"Yeah, of course. Why?" Jooheon proudly answered. 

"Take care of him for me. I will... give you my number. Please contact me if anything goes wrong."

Hyungwon rummaged his bag for a sticky note and a pen. He jotted down his digits and passed to Jooheon. Confused Jooheon accepted it anyway.  _I will take care of him without you telling me anyway._ Hyungwon gave a small, sad smile and walked off. 

"What was that about?"

"I don't know man," Jooheon said as he shoved the sticky note into his pocket.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH it's kinda messy! forgive me. And my heart hurt for changkyun. I didn't mean to make him self-harm. 
> 
> I'm sorry!


	12. The bullies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He ran, without looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second update! a short one! A rushed one! hahaha.

Changkyun rested his head on his desk. Absent-mindedly staring into an empty void. Nails digging into his wounds, making them bleed a little. Changkyun feels empty, lonely. His mind started to wander.  _Why was Wonho-hyung furious?_

Changkyun felt a hand caress the back of his head. He looked up, hoping it would be Hyungwon. His eyes brimming with tears. Jooheon gave a half-hearted smile. Jooheon wanted to leave him alone but he couldn't bear to.

"Changkyun, are you okay?" 

"I'm fine... but..." Changkyun looked directly into Jooheon's eyes. Droplets of water started falling one after another. "Not really."

Jooheon's pupils dilated at the sight of those tears. He's trying not to show, but he's panicking on the inside. He moved closer to the smaller boy, shielding him from the eyes of their curious classmates. They've all noticed that the reserved boy's crying.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. I am here. Gunhee's here too. I don't know what happened but you're not alone okay? You can tell me if there's anything bothering you, alright?" 

Changkyun's crying hard. He didn't want to. He didn't want to display his weaknesses right before his judgemental classmates. Not even Jooheon nor Gunhee. But he couldn't help it, his bottled up feelings are too overwhelming. He could hear whispers of his classmates. Changkyun started to feel small and puny. He wants to get away.

"Can I wash my face?" 

"Oh.. Sure. Do you need me to follow you? I mean.. If you are.. scared? I don't know." Jooheon stammered, mentally chiding himself for being too weird. 

"No, it's okay. Thank you, Jooheon. You made me feel better." He stood and left in a hurry. Running away from the gazes of his classmates. 

* * *

 

Changkyun rinsed his face hastily. He didn't want to be here, the third level toilet meant for seniors. It makes him feel insecure. He would hate it if he bumps into Wonho or any of his friends. He looked into mirror before he go. Horrible eye bags. Bloodshot eyes. He rinsed again, attempting to make his eye bags disappear. 

"Did you watched yesterday's show? It was hilarious, I almost cried."

"Nah, I was too busy with my girlfriend."

"WOW, girlfriend?! Our small Kihyunnie has a girlfriend already?"

Changkyun looked up immediately into the mirror. The reflection of the familiar blonde and shorter boy appeared. Once again, fear found him. It made his knees go weak. Made his body stagger. They're going to put him down again. 

"Well, well. Look who's here. It's the little faggot from that day." Changkyun attempting to walk away. Swiftly, the blonde caught him by his hood. 

"Freshman, ya, what are you doing on the seniors level?"

Changkyun played dumb. Changkyun didn't understand why were they bothering him so much. 

"So our little friend here likes Wonho, huh? Please forget it. Wonho hates fags like you."

That stung. Those words stung. 

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Let go." Changkyun pulled his hood from the evil blonde's clutches. He regretted soon after.

The blonde shoved Changkyun down. Straddling him, pushing his shoulder against the cold hard floor. The blonde turned to the shorter one.

"Ya, Kihyun. Keep a look out."

He turned back to Changkyun. Pulling the ends of Changkyun's hair, making Changkyun face him. 

"You gays do like being manhandled like this, don't you?" The blonde spits on him. Changkyun's eyes brimmed with hot tears.

"Are you gonna cry again? I can't stand you." The blonde clenched his fist, raising it in the air. Changkyun shuts his eyes, guarding himself with his arms. The bell rang, a saving grace. 

"Minhyuk, let's go." Kihyun, the shorter one dragged Minhyuk off Changkyun. 

"Bye little faggot," Minhyuk sing songed his way out of the toilet.

Changkyun's legs wobbled as he stood up, using the ledge of the sink for support. He felt weak. Too weak. Adrenaline coursed through his veins. He's incapacitated with fear, shutting his ability to think. His tears felt hot against his cold, drained face. He just wants to go home. 

What was Minhyuk, that blonde, saying anyway? Gay? He isn't gay... But maybe he was right. He's gay. Changkyun likes Wonho more than he should. His lips tremble. They knew. Even before he realises his own feelings. They knew. 

Changkyun rinsed the spit off his face. He went down the stairs. Took the left turn instead of the right which where his classroom at. He started running, small feet kissing the ground, heading for the main school gate. He ran, without looking back. He wasn't going to spend another minute in this hell hole. He didn't even bothered grabbing his belongings from his class. He didn't want Jooheon nor Hyungwon to worry about him again. He wants to be free from everything. Hence, he decided to run away. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I'm not sure if the direction I'm going is good enough. Let me know if it isn't okay? D: 
> 
> I hope it is to your liking! Thank you for reading! 
> 
> P/S: jooheon is a precious bub D:
> 
> P/P/S: I need to remind y'all that i really love minhyuk and kihyun. But i love them playing as bad guys.


	13. Crimson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please, lord, save him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I wanna say sORRY.
> 
> Secondly, enjoy this short update!

**JOOHEON'S POV**

"Oh? This toilet is out of order," muttered Jooheon. Gunhee glared at Jooheon with much distaste. 

"I know what you're thinking. No, I'm not a pervert. I'm just worried."

"Why am I here again?" Gunhee rolled his eyes. 

"Because you are my best friend." 

"Oh come on, Jooheon, you need to man up." 

"Fuck off." 

"Okay, I'm going back." Gunhee turned on his heel. Dimple-boy yanked his arm and dragged him up the stairs. 

The two boys went on an 'adventure', checking every male toilet Changkyun could possibly be in. But to no avail. Gunhee gave up from the start but Jooheon was still adamant on finding Changkyun. 

"Where the fuck is he?" Jooheon huffed, "He's nowhere to be found. 2nd period is already over and he's not back yet." Jooheon infuriatingly sat down as he gazed over Changkyun's desk. His belongings were untouched. _Where could he have gone to?_

"I'm sure he's somewhere around the school. He will be back. Don't worry," assured Gunhee. Jooheon wants to believe his best friend. He desperately wants to. He would never forgive himself if anything were to happen to Changkyun. Especially when Changkyun was in that state. Jooheon should've just went with him. He felt an empathetic pat on his shoulder. He hoped Changkyun's fine. He will wait. 

* * *

 

The last period of the day finally ended. Jooheon quietly sat in his seat with his head bowed down. His stomach shifts uncomfortably. Something must've have happened to Changkyun. One teacher after another kept bombarding with questions he couldn't answer: 'Where's Changkyun?', 'why are his things here but he isn't?' or 'Jooheon, do you know why?'.

Chankgyun never came back. Even during lunch, Jooheon stayed behind in case the brunette comes back. Hopes diminished when the next lesson started. He didn't come back. 

"Bro... Are you okay?" Gunhee slowly crept behind him. The intense atmosphere surrounding Jooheon was creeping Gunhee out. He knows his best friend's anxiously mad. One wrong move, he's dead. 

"Gunhee, I think something happened to him. I'm worried." Jooheon still had his head down. His hands clasp and unclasp each other as if it's giving him some assurance. Gunhee squatted beside his desk, urging Jooheon to look up. Jooheon's weary eyes became tearful. Gunhee has always known Jooheon cries at the slightest things. Be it nasty bugs, frightening ghosts. Jooheon cries.

Gunhee smiles, "you really like him, don't you?" 

Jooheon nodded, "I do."

"Let's ask Hong Shik. He might know where that boy lives. We could say we need to return his bag as an excuse." 

"Gunhee, ya, you're so sweet. I think I need to puke."

"Is this how you treat your best friend? Fucker." 

The best friends convulsed in laughter as they set off to find Hong shik.  _I'm going to find you Changkyun._

* * *

 

A beautiful woman opened the door to both boys.  _She looks just like Changkyun, girl version._ Such uncanny resemblance.

"Yes? Who are you looking for?"

"Um.. Hi, we are Changkyun's classmates. I'm Jooheon and this is Gunhee. We are here to return Changkyun's bag. It seems he left his bag in class." In his utmost polite voice, he spoke to the woman before his eyes, presumably his mother. Jooheon nudged Gunhee in the ribs, signaling him that he should say something. Gunhee got the memo. 

"Ah, yes Ahjumma." That word made the lady snort. Jooheon shot him a disappointed look. She noticed the exchange and shook her head. Mrs Lim ushered both boys in with sweet smiles that Jooheon probably feel they don't deserve.

Jooheon whispered, "ya, you rude child. Is this how you treat strangers?!"

"I'm trying, you bastard."

"Try harder, you dumb ass."

Mrs Lim cleared her throat. It made both boys shut in silence, looking down in shame.

"I'm Changkyun's mother. I'm happy to see that he has made friends with his classmates! That boy never liked making friends," she paused. Her sweet smile turned into a sorrowful one. "Did something happened today? He came back home pretty early. Refusing to come out for dinner too." 

Jooheon and Gunhee looked at each other. They didn't even realise Changkyun went missing, what more would they know what had happened to him? Both boys shook their heads in shame. She heaved a melancholic sigh. Began to lead them upstairs where Changkyun's room's at. 

Changkyun's mother knocked his room door rapidly. But no one responded. 

"Changkyun honey, your friends Jooheon and Gunhee are here to see you. Would you please come out? For awhile," her voice sounded more pained than anything.

No answer. Jooheon's heart hurt. Seeing Mrs Lim downcasted expression. Changkyun refusing to come out. It's too overwhelming for him. 

"I'm sorry... I'm sure something must have happened to him in school that's why he's acting like this." 

Jooheon's self-loathing. He had made a promise with that lanky dude. That he would take care of Changkyun. He swore he would have done it without the lanky dude asking. But something bad had happened and Jooheon wasn't there. He failed. Gunhee seemed to notice his best friend's mood took a nosedive. He patted Jooheon's back, assuring him.  

"Changkyun? Honey?" Mrs Lim kept knocking and knocking. No answer. It's starting to worry the three of them. They looked at each other.  _God, please, don't let anything happen to Changkyun._ Jooheon started knocking as well.

"Changkyunnie, it's Jooheon here. Please open the door. We are worried about you. Gunhee and I were really worried about you. Please, Changkyunnie."

As expected, no answer. Mrs Lim started sniffing. Jooheon tried turning the doorknob. Locked.  _Why, Changkyun?_

"Mrs. Lim, I think we should get a key... I feel..." He shouldn't have said anything like that. It made Mrs Lim broke into tears. She shook her head, saying Changkyun likes privacy so he keeps the key to his room. 

"I think we should break it, do you mind?" Gunhee finally said something. Of course, he may not have been so close to Changkyun, but he couldn't bear to see a worried mother crying nor his best friend close to tears. He had to do something, at least. 

Mrs Lim nodded. Gunhee used his sides and banged against the door until it finally broke free. 

There, a broken Changkyun sitting on the floor, cross-legged. Rusty blade tightly held in his hand, making his knuckles turn white. Blood flowing thickly from his wrists to his thighs. In the bright-lit room, it looked indecently crimson. Changkyun looked up, with weary, bloodshot eyes. Jooheon wasn't prepared for this. In fact, none of them were. All three mouths were left agape. 

"Changkyun? What are you doing?" Mrs Lim whispered, anguishly. Slowly approaching her son with careful steps. 

"Eomma, it won't stop. It won't stop. It won't stop."

Changkyun muttering the same line over and over again like a broken record. Jooheon can't stand it. Both the sight of blood and his broken Changkyun. But he put on a strong front. For both Mrs Lim and Changkyun. He has to. Gunhee knew his fear of blood but thankfully, he never said a word. Too stunned probably. 

Jooheon took off his hoodie. With swift but careful steps, he approached Changkyun. He pulled the bloody blade from Changkyun's clutches, sliding it another the bed. Making sure Changkyun wouldn't be able to reach it in this state. Jooheon wrapped his jacket around his right wrist. Staining the light grey with crimson liquid. Gunhee too, took a clothing from a chair's back, passing it to Jooheon. Too afraid to come close to the brunette. Mrs Lim remained motionless in her place. 

"Changkyun, Listen to me, okay? I want you to stay strong and stay with us okay?"

"It won't stop, Jooheon. It won't stop." 

"It will. I will stop it for you, alright?" Jooheon has no idea what the other boy were saying but he agrees to keep the other boy calm.

"The pain in my chest won't stop hurting." And that was it. Jooheon hugged the broken boy. It was too much for him to bear. He hates this sight.  _Who did this to him? I will rip their head off._

Jooheon calmly carried the broken boy, cradling him in a bridal-style. Brunette snuggled into Jooheon's chest, eyes closing.

"We have to get him to the hospital. Can you drive? Mrs Lim?" 

Gunhee shook her physically before she started nodding and running down the stairs, tripping a few times. 

As soon as they were out of the house. Jooheon rushed towards the car. Poor baby starting to feel limp in his hands. 

"Changkyunnie? Changkyunnie!" a boy whom Jooheon do not know of, stood on the pavement, screaming. Jooheon didn't paid much attention to that person. He carefully placed Changkyun in the car. Asking Mrs Lim to drive away.  _Please, lord, Save Changkyun. Save him._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SORRY!!!!!!! I had to D: My heart hurt for Changkyunnie but the story must go on! 
> 
> And i wonder who would you like Changkyun to end up with? :D Because i'm still unsure at this point. So, i would like to hear some opinions from all of you :-) 
> 
> Thank you for those who made it this far D:


	14. Silence.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He deserved to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short update! I'm pretty tired but i've surrendered to temptation and wrote a short one before sleep! /Whispers it's 5 am here!!/
> 
> I wanna thank to all of you who commented on the previous chapter with all of your beautiful opinions! I really appreciate it! I will take every comment into consideration to aid in completing this fic! 
> 
> /whispers again. kinda don't want this to end. but all good things have to come an end right?/ 
> 
> OKAY ENJOY!

**JOOHEON'S POV**

Jooheon never liked the smell of hospitals. It reeks of death. Hospitals scare him the most.

As a child, Jooheon was a mischievous adolescent. He climbed trees, streetlights and if he gets a little too adventurous, he would get playful on the balcony. Which led to his biggest mistake of his life. A slip of a foot, he fell from his second-floor apartment. A broken arm and a sprained foot he gets. Which he had to get it treated in the hospital. Not only that, he had to be admitted afterwards. Hospitals were then added to his list of fears. Seeing patients around him dying each day. It scares him. 

The blood of his crush dried up as time passes by. The doctor's still not out yet. Everyone's getting anxious. Mrs Lim paced back and forth, stifling her sobs. Gunhee sat at the corner, wide eyes. Still stunned probably. Jooheon... was just thinking about who could have hurt Changkyun. What did they do that it broke Changkyun?  _I won't let them off._

"Ya, do you have spare changes? I wanna get coffee." Gunhee thrust his palm towards Jooheon. 

"Wait." He rolled his eyes.  _How do you have the mood to drink?_ Jooheon rummaged his pockets for loose coins but a square sticky note came out instead. Jooheon unfolded the paper. Small, messy handwriting. 

**_Hyungwon  
xxx-xxxxxxxx_ **

"Oh." 

"What's that?"

"It's the lanky boy from this morning's number. He gave it to me. In case something happened to Chang.... SHIT."

Gunhee looks puzzled. Disregarding Gunhee, Jooheon dialled Hyungwon's digits in.  _He deserved to know._

* * *

**HYUNGWON'S POV**

"Uncle Jong, drive faster. Please." 

The driver nodded. Wet hair, disheveled appearance. It's not like the young master to be disarrayed and unkempt. But he drove away anyway.

Hyungwon's eyes quivered in unease. Biting his nails down to the skin, torn in places. It was a bad habit of his from young, which he get frequently reprimanded for. His parents and even his elder brother advising him that a wealthy boy should be prim and proper. Biting nails are an act of the poor. Rebellious, Hyungwon continued up till now.

 "Young master, we've arrived."

Hyungwon shook his memories of the past as he dashed out towards the ER, where everyone else's at. A familiar face, he spotted the boy with tiger eyes, covered in blood. Which Hyungwon assumed it's Changkyun's. What a sight. If anyone else who didn't hear a gist of what had happened, they would probably assumed that tiger boy's a cold-blooded killer. Especially with those menacing eyes of his. 

"Jooheon?" he called out. 

Every head turned including the bloody menacing boy. He waved and smiled, baring his pretty ivories and cute dents on his cheeks. That boy isn't that frightening after all. 

"Mrs Lim. This is Hyungwon. Also a good friend of Changkyun." 

Even with swelling eyes, Mrs Lim's beautiful smile reminds him of Changkyun. His heart hurt. He really hoped Changkyun's alright.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs Lim." He shook the shaky hands of the pitiful woman before his eyes. She smiled and went back pacing back and forth. 

Silence. The silence made Hyungwon's blood turn cold as the waiting room got colder and colder. And he became more anxious and anxious.  _This is killing me._

* * *

 A man with strong build came out wearing a clean, white coat.  _Changkyun's doctor!_ Everyone got up, swarming around him. He told them that Changkyun's fine and that he had to be admitted here for a few days for further observations. He then took Mrs Lim away for a more 'private talk between adults'. The teens then headed for Changkyun's room. Again, silence. Gunhee and jooheon aren't arguing. Hyungwon kept quiet. Everyone's tired. But they're glad that Changkyun's fine. 

Hyungwon slid the door. Hyungwon's heart immediately broke as his eyes lay upon the smaller boy. Poor baby lay lifelessly on the bed, with few wires attached to him here and there. Hyungwon shed hot tears. 

Hyungwon pulled a chair closer to the brunette's bed and sat. He slightly touched Changkyun's heavily bandaged wrist. Afraid he might hurt the injured boy. He took Changkyun's hand in his, bringing it closer to his warm cheeks. _It's cold._

* * *

 

**JOOHEON'S POV**

Jooheon and Gunhee stay glued against the corner of the room. Jooheon's burning with jealousy but kept quiet. He knows even if is he's jealous, he will never be on par with Hyungwon. Hyungwon is your 'oh-so-beautiful knight in shining armour. Observant, Gunhee pulled his best friend closer to Changkyun's bed, knowing Jooheon wants to be near his crush. And then things stayed like that for minutes that felt like hours. Until, someone else dashed in, perspiring. Jooheon recognised him. It's that boy from just now. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHO IS THAT BOY?! Stay tuned for more ;-) 
> 
> I will update another chapter in the afternoon! Look forward to it! 
> 
> Thank you!!!! D:


	15. I'm sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hyung, stay with me. Promise me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooo another update!!! Enjoy!

**WONHO'S POV**

Where was he when Changkyun needed him? Not there. He was never there. Not going to deny, he's a fucking jerk.

His eyes shifted to the boy, his puppy, his Changkyun, in the hands of a stranger. Lifeless, with bloody crimson stains all over. What could have happened? He doesn't know. He will never. 

"Changkyun?" he called out. 

Wonho was rendered speechless, at loss for words. Mouth hung loosely, with lips slightly parted.  _No no no no no,_ was the only words he repeats on his mind. His puppy, something must have happened to him. 

"Changkyun!" he managed to scream out this time. 

The head of the stranger turned as he settled Changkyun in the car. He looked away.  _No, what is_ _happening?_ Wonho wants to move, run, fly to his baby. But he couldn't. His muscles won't listen to him. The car started moving. He would jump in front of it, but it was too late. By the time his limbs started moving, it was already too late. The car left. Leaving Wonho in confusion. 

Wonho searched for his phone. He needs to call Mrs Lim. He needs to know that his Changkyun is safe and sound. That it was just a hallucination. Maybe he was just tired. But he still needs assurance. 

"Oppa?" that familiar sweet voice. Wonho turned. 

"Yeseul. What are you doing here?"

"I.. Missed you, oppa. I thought I should come find you here... Are you crying, oppa? What's wrong?"

Wonho squinted his eyes. Weird. His little secret had already brought out to light. Why's she acting all chummy with him? _What's her motive?_ Wonho wiped his tear-stricken face with the hem of his collar. 

"Nothing. I have somewhere to go. Sorry." Wonho tried to pull away from her tight clutches. She held on tighter. 

"Oppa, don't leave. Make it up to me." her creepy smile put off Wonho. She's really up to no good. 

Wonho sighed and walked away with Yeseul in tow. He walked and walked as his mind wander off to Changkyun. She followed him silently. It was pissing him off. 

"Where are you going, oppa?"

"I told you. I have somewhere I have to be."

"By that boy's side?"

Wonho turned, glaring into those sweet, deceiving round orbs. She smiled as if she hit the nail on the head. She's right anyway. He needs to find Changkyun as soon as possible. To be by his side. Wonho finally found the strength to pull away from her hold. He immediately called Mrs Lim. He needs to be there.

* * *

"Why are you following me?"

"I worry about you."

Wonho and Yeseul sat in the cab in silence as they drove off to the nearest hospital. His heart broke. Hearing his Eomma's pained voice. Changkyun slef-harmed. And it was because of him. Changkyun would never do something like this. Wonho made him this way. I' _m sorry, Changkyun._

* * *

 

"Stay here. I don't want you to be any closer to Changkyun." Wonho told Yeseul off. She was about to protest but he wasn't going to hear any of it. He needs to breathe. He stood outside the door. Sweat started forming on the surface of his forehead. He's afraid. What if Changkyun refused to see him? He wouldn't be able to take it. 

Wonho entered the room. There's the two boys he saw back at Changkyun's house. And there's Hyungwon, his best-friend, by Changkyun's side. Hyungwon look daggers at Wonho. He stood up with menace. Wonho felt a gush of air past his ears as Hyungwon launched at him. Knuckles turning white against Wonho collar. 

"What the fuck are you doing here? I told you not to hurt him, didn't I? What the fuck did I say?"

"Hyungwon..."

Jooheon and Gunhee rushed by their side. Trying to stop them from fighting. Pointless, Hyungwon was furious. Wonho had never seen those fiery eyes. His jaw clenched.

"Listen to me."

"No, I won't, you fucking prick. Thanks to you, Changkyun's now lying down there. Are you blind? It's fucking thanks to you."

Hyungwon clenched his fist, preparing to hit the life out of Wonho. Wonho squeezed his eyes shut. He deserved this, anyway. He won't be mad at Hyungwon for hitting him. It's his fault that Changkyun harmed himself. He deserved it. 

Wonho felt the grip on his collar loosen. He opened his eyes. It was that stranger from before. He held on Hyungwon's wrist, preventing Hyungwon from making a mess. 

"Sunbaenims, please stop. Changkyun needs his rest. He wouldn't want the both of you to be fighting. Right now, he needs us, his friends, to be by his side. Please don't do this."

He's right. Wonho looked at his lifeless baby, still deep in sleep. Oblivious to the world around him. His chest hurts. 

"Changkyun?" he called out, ever softly. 

Wonho trudged towards the boy. He felt guilt rising the closer he gets. He's a jerk. Asshole. He's much worse than all the vulgar names from all over the world combined. Wonho kneeled down by the brunette's bed. He let it go. He let his tears stream down his face. Choking on his sobs every now and then. He's speechless. He rested his forehead against the heavily wrapped wrist. He couldn't stop crying. 

"Changkyun?" he called out but they boy remained motionless.  _Please talk to me._

Hyungwon hates this scene. He stormed off. Followed by the pair of best friends. They had their heads down. 

"Kkungkungie, I'm sorry. For not being there when you need me the most. I am sorry for being a major coward. I'm sorry I made you this way. I really miss you. But I'm a jerk right? You probably won't forgive me. But I'm really sorry," he paused. He lifted up his head. His warm fingers caressed the poor boy's icy cold face.

"Wake up. Scold me. Shout at me. I deserved it. Please." 

Wonho felt movement underneath his touch. 

"Wonho Hyung?" 

"Yes, Kyunnie, I'm here." Wonho stood up, scrutinising his puppy. Hoping it wasn't just his ears playing tricks on him. Changkyun's swollen eyelids, barely open. Lips slightly left apart. He leaned towards Wonho's touch. 

"Please, don't leave me." those are the words Wonho wanted to hear but yet he felt guilty hearing them. He made Changkyun this way. How could Changkyun forgive him easily? _I don't deserve this._  Stray droplets of tears fell onto Changkyun. _I'm really sorry._

"I won't, I promise. I'm sorry. Changkyun, I'm really sorry." 

"It's okay. I'm sleepy. Hyung, stay with me. Promise me?" Changkyun's hand reached out for Wonho's and held on it tightly. 

"No, baby. I won't go anywhere. I promise." Wonho watched his puppy slowly drift off to deep slumber, with a small smile. Wonho scoots closer. He placed a soft kiss on the brunette's forehead.  _I'm really sorry._   

* * *

 

**HYUNGWON'S POV**

More than anything, he hated seeing that. Of course, he don't know what caused Changkyun to self-harm. But blaming it on Wonho made him feel better although he knew he wasn't being rational. He left the room. He couldn't bear looking at Wonho being the two-faced shit he is. 

"Hyungwon."

Hyungwon looked to the right.

"Why are you here?"

"I didn't know you knew Changkyun as well," she laughed.

The weird bitch is laughing. Hyungwon never liked her. It was different back then. They were all good friends until Yeseul confessed to him. But Hyungwon being the straightforward person he is, has never shown any interest in her. Hence, now why she's clinging onto Wonho. Hyungwon felt she was being suspicious. He doesn't know what's going through Wonho's mind. Why would he accept a crazy lass like her.  _Hmph, they're perfect for one another. Assholes._

Hyungwon walked away. Yeseul stopped laughing. Her expression changed in second.

* * *

 

**JOOHEON'S POV**

"Fucker, he was the one who hurt Changkyun," he whisper-shouted at Gunhee as they left the room. 

"What you gonna do bro?" 

"Nothing, bro. For now."

"What the fuck. I hyped you up for nothing. Waste my time."

Jooheon rolled his eyes away, noticing the girl at the corner.  _Who the fuck is this?_ She smiled at him. He was taken aback. He never knew such a gentle smile from a pretty girl like her could be so terrifyingly creepy. It was full of hate. He got chills. 

"Ya, Gunhee, let's get out from here. Hospitals are fucking scary."

"What are you scared of? Pussy."

"Shut the fuck up!"

Nurses around them scowled at them as they discreetly walk away in shame. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hyungwon's jealous. Wonho promised Changkyun he would not leave. Jooheon is a sad honeybee D: 
> 
> And yeseul is an annoying suspicious person.
> 
> ... but the question is would Wonho actually stay? D:


	16. So beautiful.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He smirked, "So sensitive."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY UPDATE AGAIN! :D
> 
> This is for those who missed Wonkyun interactions in this fic! I sobbed as i wrote this because I missed wonkyun too. 
> 
> I'm sorry in advance to those rooting for hyungkyun or jookyun! This chapter's gonna make you mad D:

**CHANGKYUN'S POV**

Soft morning light trickled in through the white blinds. Changkyun woke up to soft, clean sheets that are different from what he had back at home. Eyes still shut as he soaked in the warmth of the covers before opening them to a person by his bed. Changkyun blinked. Once. Twice. He couldn't believe his own eyes. The person had half of his face sunken into the bed, with pieces of dark hair covering his fully-lidded eyes. No doubt, it's Wonho. Wonho had kept his promise. Changkyun smiled.

Changkyun carefully rolled onto his side. Avoiding his injuries. He looked at the ravenette. The boy was as still as a brick. The only movement was the slight rise and fall of his back. He looked peaceful. Changkyun, more than anything, wants to curl up against Wonho's chest. Changkyun turned away, lying flat on his back.  _But Hyung probably does not want that..._

Changkyun sighed. Slowly and reluctantly, he sat up. He looked around and his sleeping mother caught his eyes. Sitting up right on the couch with arms crossed. She looked tired as she frowns in her sleep.  _I've made everyone worry, didn't I?_ Yes, sure he did. He looked down onto his heavily bandaged arms. A crystal bead escaped his eyes. Landing with a soft thud against his bandages. He bit his tongue, trying to hold back those damn tears that threatened to fall. But he couldn't. His lips trembled as he clenched his shaky fists. The floodgates opened. Drenching his cheeks. He couldn't stop. He felt his walls crumbling down again.  _Why am I so weak?_ He sobbed in his hands, his palms digging into the hollow of his eyes. Trying to stop the damn tears. 

Changkyun felt arms encircling around his shoulders. Pulling him into an embrace against a firm torso. Fingers gently combing through his hair. 

"Shhh, it's okay, Changkyunnie." 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I... I."

Those same hands pulled his own away from the hollows of his eyes. Changkyun looked up. 

"Wonho hyung... I'm sorry."

"No baby. I should be sorry," he softly whispered into Changkyun's ears. 

Wonho sat on the bed, behind the brunette. Engulfing his puppy into a soft hug. Wonho rested his chin on Changkyun's shoulder, whispering sweet nothings.

After long minutes, Changkyun's sobbings has broken apart. His convulsions have settled down. Replaced by gentle snuffling noises as he breathes. The puppy had drifted off to sleep, drooping against Wonho's warm chest. Wonho held him close, so dearly. 

* * *

 

"Kkungkungie, are you ready to..." Wonho barged into the room mindlessly. He stood there frozen as he watched Changkyun struggled to put on a shirt. Changkyun turned around with his shirt tangled around his neck and arms. His face went red as a beetroot. He's embarrassed by the fact he's struggling with an everyday routine. Wonho couldn't help but let out a hearty laugh. 

"Kkungkungie ya, what are you doing?" Wonho asked he moved closer to the poor boy. Wonho's warm fingers lingered on Changkyun's cold chest longer than they should as he pulled the younger's shirt over his head. Changkyun slowly died on the inside. He's craving for more.

"My... my hands still hurts. I couldn't find.. the arm.. hole." Changkyun stammered as he blushed. He looked away from Wonho's scorching stares. 

"You're a beauty." 

"Liar."

"I'm not lying." Wonho sternly said as he put the shirt back on over Changkyun's head. Wonho gently guided Changkyun's hands into the right places. He's ready to go now.

"So, are you ready? Eomma's waiting outside." 

"I'm not ready yet. I've yet to wear my socks."

"Hmm, need help?" Changkyun flushed red. Shook his head profusely. Wonho giggled. Wonho then inched closer towards Changkyun's face, softly placing a peck on his lips. Changkyun's blush seared through his cheeks and for a second he thought his face was on fire. He hid his face behind his slender fingers. 

"Cute. I will be waiting outside. Hurry up! Or we will leave without you."

Wonho left the embarrassed boy on his own to cope.  _What was that?_ He shook his thoughts as he quickly put on his socks. It's inside out but he didn't care anymore. Sliding into his shoes after that. He wore Wonho's hoodie over to cover his pathetic bandaged around his arms. He left immediately, in fear he might be left behind.

* * *

 

"I don't wanna!!" 

"Don't be a stubborn pup and take your medicine."

Changkyun sprawled on his stomach, face down on his bed. 

"At least take off your socks," nagged Wonho.

Changkyun grunted but refused to move. He's comfortable. He felt fingers peeling his socks off his feet. Changkyun lost control over his body which instinctively wriggled away from Wonho's touch. 

"Hyung, stop. It's ticklish."  

"I can't hear you."

"I said..." Changkyun turned around to lie on his back. Wonho's face was only an inch close from Changkyun's.

"I said I can't hear you," Wonho whispered as he hovers over the smaller frame. His strong hands placed on either side of the brunette's head. Wonho slides his legs in between Changkyun's legs, spreading them wide. His shorts ride up in the process.

"Hyung..." Changkyun whined, tilting his head up. His eyes half-lidded from anticipation. Wonho leant forward, gently placing trails of kisses from his lips down to his neck. 

"Eomma's around..." he grumbled, accidentally letting out a soft groan from the back of his throat when Wonho lightly caressed his thighs. 

"She went out."

Wonho continued placing kisses on every exposed part of Changkyun's skin. He arched his back for more as the older pushed his thigh against Changkyun's crotch. Lips met roughly, tongues fighting one another. Wonho bit down on the younger's lower lip. Soft grunts filled the room. Changkyun placed his bandaged arms around Wonho's neck. Pulling him down for more.

"Hyung..."

"Yes, baby? What do you want?"

"I want more. Touch me more." 

Without hesitations, Wonho pulled away. Changkyun's lips felt lonely. Wonho pulled his shirt over his head and tossing it aside before placing his lips where it should belong. Wonho hoisted changkyun shirt up, revealing his soft-structured frame. Changkyun tried hiding it, only to be pushed away by Wonho. Wonho looked at him, hungrily. He eagerly licked down Changkyun's torso, stopping just right above the waistband of his shorts. Changkyun trembled as Wonho slowly tugged down his shorts, tossing it aside. Also removing Changkyun's top. Leaving the boy feeling almost naked, with only his trunks on. His tented hard on was so obvious, he tried hiding it again. 

"Don't hide, babe. You're so beautiful."

Changkyun whimpered as Wonho palmed his erection through his underwear. It felt good. Changkyun's back arched, rubbing and humping against the touch. His body begging for more. 

Changkyun tugged at the waist of Wonho's pants. Signalling that he should take it off too. Wonho understood so he stood up and pulled down his ripped jeans, letting it pool at the bottom of his feet. Wonho got back to his original position, spreading Changkyun legs apart. He lined his erection with Changkyun's and rubbed against it.

"Changkyun-ah," Wonho huffed, out of breath.

Changkyun sat up, leaving Wonho in a confused state. With nimble hands, he pushed Wonho on his back as he straddled him. Giving Wonho a clear view of his beautiful body. Wonho noticed his puppy's already leaking so much. His dick twitching in anticipation, so badly. 

Wonho smirked, "so sensitive."

Wonho placed both of his hands on Changkyun's round ass, spreading them cheeks. Wonho pushed his hard on against his ass. Grinding against it. They had never gone this far. Changkyun felt really good that he's close.

"Hyung... I can't hold it in..." 

"It's okay, me too."

Changkyun rolled his hips, earning a low growl from the other. One last grind, Changkyun started spilling cum through his trunks.  Intense electricity spread throughout his whole body. It felt good. Same goes for the other. Mixed cum pooled on Wonho's crotch. It was a mess but it was by far the best orgasm they both had.

Changkyun collapsed against the other boy. Nuzzling against the other boy's neck, grinning. Changkyun likes it. Spending time lazily like this. 

"Don't sleep. Take a shower."

"I'm sleepy..." 

Wonho sighed, pushing the sleepy boy off him as he got up. Changkyun's expression changed immediately. 

"Hyung..." 

"Stay."

Wonho picked up his clothing and left the room, leaving the poor confused puppy all alone. But he stayed like a good boy he is.

* * *

 

He's been abandoned. At least that's what Changkyun thinks. It's been a while Wonho left. Changkyun sat up, hugging his knees.  _No, no, no._  Without warning,tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down his face. His body trembled.  _Maybe Hyung hates me after all._ He thought everything was going fine. Why? Why's this happening to him now?

Brick by brick, his walls of trust came tumbling down. Nails started digging, poking at his bandaged arm. Eventually it made the dressings come undone. His wounds started spewing blood. But he couldn't stop the urge. The urge to self-harm. It's the only way to stop the pain in his chest. He scratched it. Stabbed it. Anything. Anything would do right now.

His breathing hitched. His shoulder heaved with emotion, refusing to back down. It's happening again. His anxiety came back full force. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOPS THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY D:
> 
> BUT... WHAT DID WONHO DID THIS TIME ?!?!?!??! D:
> 
> REJOICE HYUNGKYUN/JOOKYUN ROOTERS!
> 
> /whispers i still sucked at writing smut but i hope you enjoyed that short one./
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> P/S: i need to practice writing smut.  
> P/P/S: i actually had no intention of adding smut in this fic. But I have no control over my itchy hands and my wild imaginations.


	17. Solace no. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I won't. I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! 
> 
> Bad news is I fell and hurt myself badly yesterday! I'm fine after a long rest! 
> 
> Good news is I'm able to update this often because i'm on sick leave for 2 weeks :'-)

**WONHO's POV**

_That was amazing._

But he felt guilty. Maybe it wasn't right. Maybe he shouldn't have. Wonho desired nothing more in this world other than Changkyun's touch but all he felt was guilt.

Wonho glanced over to his puppy's body draped over his. Soft cheeks squished against his firm chest. Long lashes swept against his cheeks. His baby's falling asleep.

"Don't sleep. Take a shower."

"I'm sleepy..."

 _Looks like I have to take care of him._ Wonho sighed, shifting under Changkyun and gently pushed him off. 

"Hyung..."

"Stay."

Wonho swore he thought he saw Changkyun's puppy ears drooped in disappointment.  _What a pup._ He smiled, turning away. His heart softened, diminishing every guilt feeling he harboured. Wonho looked down on the mess they made. He desperately needs to clean up himself first.

* * *

 

It took longer than he expected. He sighed. He remembered his parents lectured him for spending too much time in the shower. He turned a deaf ear to them. Still a habitual offender up till this day. Habits are hard to kill off anyway. 

All squeaky clean, he took the basin of lukewarm water, a clean washcloth with him on a mission to clean the dirty pup.  

"Changkyun, you need to cl..."

What a sight. Wonho dropped the basin to his feet. 

"YA, LIM CHANGKYUN."

His mind went on pull panic mode. Wonho rushed to the brunette. Changkyun had his head tucked in between his knees. Sobbing, wheezing uncontrollably. His heart hurts but then he saw a glimpse of crimson liquid. Anger burned deep inside. Don't know why but he couldn't resist the urge.

"What the fuck did you do?!" He yanked the bleeding arms, scrutinising hard. Yep, every wound left agape, letting blood flow freely down his forearm.

"Lim Changkyun. Look at me." Changkyun shook his head profusely, still curled up in a small ball of defence. Wonho knew. He knew his tone of voice is scaring the fuck out of the younger one. But he couldn't stop getting furious.

"I fucking said look at me." Changkyun glanced up. Tear-stricken face. Eyes quivered in fear. 

"Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"... I thought you left me." 

From one look, any stranger could tell Changkyun's afraid on Wonho. 

"Stop doing this. Just stop." 

He's angry, don't know why. But Changkyun all broken and hurt? Wonho couldn't bear seeing any of that. Wonho pulled his baby into a hug, breaking every layer of Changkyun's defensive shell he put up earlier. Changkyun sank in his embrace. Gradually muffling his sobs. 

"I already promised you that I won't leave you right?"

But he wasn't sure. Wasn't sure if he could handle another breakdown again.  _What will I do if this happens again?_ He sighed. 

Changkyun nodded, nuzzling into the crook of Wonho's neck.

"We should get you clean up." 

* * *

The late dinner both Changkyun and Wonho had met with a deafening silence. No one said a single word. Not even a sound. It's wrong, but Wonho was still pretty mad. Changkyun left Wonho with the dishes.

"Eomma, you're home?" 

"Wonho-ah. How is Changkyun doing?"

"He's..." Wonho paused, contemplating if he should spill the beans about Changkyun breaking down again. "He's fine, eomma. Don't worry." He lied. He blatantly lied.  Mrs. Lim gave him the sweetest smile and hugged Wonho. He had to lie. Mrs. Lim worries enough. 

"Thank you, Wonho-ah. I don't know what would I do without you."

Wonho broke the embrace and looked up into her tearful eyes. 

"You have done enough for me. You've been there for me when my parents aren't here. I wouldn't know how to survive without all of you."

She laughed heartily. But her eyes tells otherwise. 

"Listen, Changkyun's dad is coming back from the States next week. This would probably cheer Changkyun up. Would you pass the news to him, for me sweetheart?" 

"Really?! Okay I will!"

Wonho finished up last bits of cleaning. He then headed upstairs. Wonho's excited. He remembered Mr Lim came home with many interesting stories in the science industry. Being the friendly man he was, he shared them all. Wonho and the Lim family would huddled up together in the living space while attentively listening to him narrating every experiences. Changkyun would be overjoyed to hear about his father's coming home. 

Wonho carefully opened the door. It's dark and quiet. Many things went through his head. Wonho rushed over to Changkyun on the floor, afraid that he might have done something silly again. Thankfully, the smaller boy was fast asleep upright with knees tucked closely to his chest. The weight in his heart lightened. He carefully carried the boy to his bed. 

"Hyung," he whined.

"Yes baby?"

".. Im really sorry.." Changkyun mumbled with his eyes sealed shut, reaching out to hug Wonho. Wonho sat by his head, caressing him to sleep. He sighed. _I'm sorry too._ For getting angry. But he never said it aloud. 

* * *

**CHANGKYUN'S POV**

Finally, the day he dreaded is here. Back to school. Back to reality. Over the week, he ignored multiple texts from Hyungwon, Jooheon and even Gunhee. Everyone was worried about him but he couldn't face any of them. They came over to visit, only to be turned away by him. He had Wonho anyway. He needed none of them. He only needs Wonho.

Wonho babied him throughout the whole week without talking much. It was his fault anyway. Doing silly things again. He knows Wonho's mad at him. He apologised profusely but Wonho never acknowledged any. Changkyun took it as his punishment. 

Changkyun sat quietly on his desk. He heard it. He heard whispers and murmurs. Saying shit like ' _he's depressed_ ', ' _don't go near him it will spread to you_ ' and even ' _he is gay_ '. He heard it all. Even with headphones on, he heard everything. He wished he's at home, in Wonho's arms; his solace. His stomach shifted uneasily as he set his bag by his side. Having thoughts like maybe he should run home again. Maybe he should. 

Changkyun swiped his bag off the floor and stood up. 

"Woah, woah."

Foreheads collided. Changkyun clasped his forehead, in pain. 

"Changkyunnie, I'm sorry! Are you okay?"

Changkyun looked up and Jooheon's bright set of ivories shined on him. He took of his headphones. 

"I'm sorry I..."

Jooheon hugged the boy. Roughly. Tightly. Such solid hug. It kinda hurts him. 

"I can't.. breathe.. Jooheon. I can't.."

"Sorry!"

Jooheon lets go of his hold. Changkyun could finally breathe. Jooheon's really stronger than he looks. 

"I'm sorry I just missed you so much. You've not been replying to any of our texts. We were worried about you. I'm just glad you came back. I.."

Jooheon started bawling it scared the shit out of everyone. All pair of eyes on them. Filled with disgust. But Jooheon seems to unbothered. Gunhee rolled his eyes and turned away. Probably too embarrassed by his friend. Changkyun's stunned. He panicked. 

"Joo..heon.. Don't cry..." Changkyun reached out, patting Jooheon's forehead. Jooheon took his hand, placing it on his cheeks, leaning against his open palm. It felt soft. Changkyun's blood rushed to his cheeks.

"Don't do that again. Don't leave me... i mean us. I mean.. Gunhee and I.. And that lanky dude. Don't," 

Words like these mattered to Changkyun the most. 

"I won't. I promise." 

Both smiled. Ignoring evil whispers and dirty looks of the others. Changkyun's contented. To have a friend like Jooheon. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like i should have two alternative endings. I'm still unable to make up my mind about the end pairing AHAHAH. 
> 
> What do you think? D:


	18. Solace no. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm sorry... "
> 
> His soft sobs stopped abruptly. 
> 
> "... I really hate you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic still has a long way to go! I hope you don't mind the slow build! 
> 
> (because i have plots that I've yet to add in!)
> 
> P/S: i wrote this with Gravity playing in the background. Such a sad song, it fits the mood!!!

**CHANGKYUN'S POV**

**Chae Hyungwon (saviour) [8:15]:** Morning Kyunnie!  
 **Chae Hyungwon (saviour) [8:15]:** Guess who's late again?  
 **Chae Hyungwon (saviour) [8:15]:** Ding dong dang! You are right  
 **Chae Hyungwon (saviour) [8:16]:** It's me D:  
 **Chae Hyungwon (saviour) [8:16]:** Ms Yong is going to kill me again. But... you're gonna comfort me right?   
 **Chae Hyungwon (saviour) [8:19]:** I really miss you... kyunnie. 

* * *

 **Chae Hyungwon (saviour) [11:46]:** Lunch time!  
 **Chae Hyungwon (saviour) [11:46]:** Guess who is going to eat alone?   
 **Chae Hyungwon (saviour) [11:46]:** Yes you are right again! It's me.   
 **Chae Hyungwon (saviour) [11:50]:** I miss you so much... that my legs are bringing me to your secret place.   
 **Chae Hyungwon (saviour) [11:58]:** Please cheer me up.  

"Changkyun-ah, you've been staring at your phone," Jooheon pinched Changkyun's fluffy cheeks; it hurts. 

Changkyun kneaded his "abused" cheeks, glancing at the clock at the front. 10 minutes has passed since Hyungwon's last message. He sighed. There's no way Hyungwon's staying there for long. Changkyun's been longing to see Hyungwon. But on what rights? All he did was constantly bothering Hyungwon. 

"Changkyunnie, back to earth!!!" 

"Ah- sorry."

"Cute. Let's grab lunch with Gunhee." 

Jooheon lugged Changkyun around, neglecting his objections. Following his gruelling pace without complaints. Poor Gunhee nonchalantly followed closely behind, refusing to be the lightbulb between the 'blooming' couple. 

"Wait, Jooheon. There's something I need to do," Changkyun gently pulled his arm from Jooheon's tight hold. Really. Jooheon is definitely stronger than he looks. 

Jooheon's toothy smile drooped. It was evident, no matter how hard he tried hiding. It was noticeable. Jooheon narrowed his eyes. His menacing tiger eyes are back, replacing the innocent puppy ones.

"I won't go anywhere. I promise. It's just... There's someone I need to find."

"Come back soon," he curtly said as he turned his back on the brunette. He's upset, Changkyun knows. 

But he has to go. He has to see Hyungwon. 

* * *

 Changkyun bolted down the corridor, passing by empty classes. Avoiding a few scattered groups here and there. Bumped into a few strayed bodies, stopping once in a while to apologise. The slapping noises of his indoor shoes resonated the not-so empty corridor as he quickened his pace to an all-out sprint. He's getting close. Hoping Hyungwon's still there. He needs to see Hyungwon. Don't know why. But he has to. He has to apologise. 

Wait. What a sight.

Hyungwon's there. But with the bullies from the other day. They're lively. Laughing, joking together. They're definitely friends. Suddenly it hits Changkyun.  _Maybe this is why he got close to me..._ He shook his head.  _No, Hyungwon-hyung isn't like that._ In fear he might get seen by the bullies, he swiftly hid behind a pillar. Observing his hyung from afar.

He couldn't believe his eyes. Hyungwon hyung who's amiably kindhearted and understanding are friends with the ruffians. He looked down to his hands, clutching the excess part of his pants. The world wasn't as kind as he thought. Hyungwon wasn't as genuine as he thought either. A tear escaped his eye. His heart throbbed as his walls of trust started crumbling down.  _Is this what I get for trusting people too easily?_ He squats down, sobbing softly.  _I need Wonho hyung now._

"Wonho! They're ganging up on me. And where have you been all morning? More of like where were you all week?"

Changkyun looked up immediately.  _Wonho hyung?_ It all makes sense now, don't it? Wonho and Hyungwon know each other.  _What is this?_ A ploy to break Changkyun further? Damn right he thought. 

"I... was busy taking care of... stuff," Wonho meekly lied. 

Intolerable pain formed in his chest. He couldn't watch this further. Liars. That's what they are all are. Liars. 

_Liars. Liars. Liars._

Changkyun felt his feet kissing the concrete as he ran and ran. Without an exact destination. His uniform clung to his back, slick with perspiration. His tears blinding him. His heart throbbed, matching his running speed. He wants to go home. 

_Liars. Liars. Liars._

He tripped. Tripping on his own feet. On the flight of stairs. Falling forward. Slowly.  _I'm gonna die._ _Let me die_. He closed his eyes.

But warm arms enveloped him from behind. Saving him once again.

* * *

  **HYUNGWON'S POV**

"Hyungwonnie, what are you doing here alone?"

Hyungwon locked his phone and kept it in his bag. Changkyun wasn't going to reply any of his texts anyway. He misses that boy but he can wait. He's patient enough. Until Changkyun's ready to speak. Ready to confide in him. Hyungwon heaved a long, deep sigh. 

"You're ruining the mood around here man," the shorter out of the group, Kihyun, spoke.

"You can leave, you know. No one's stopping you," Hyungwon bit back, triggering the smaller one. He was this close to punching Hyungwon in the face.

"Oh my god, stop trying to sass each other the moment you see each other." The blonde, Minhyuk, rolled his eyes as he clung on Hyungwon like a koala.

"Why is our Hyungwonnie so sad? You've been staring at your phone, sadly."

There's no way he was going to talk about Changkyun to these well-known homophobic. He held back his urge to pour out his feelings to his friends. Well, before this he never had any difficulties spilling 'em problems to them. Just not this one.

"Is it about love? You have a girlfriend already?! Uwah, why didn't you tell us!"

Sometimes, Hyungwon hates Minhyuk for being sharp. And also his trashy loudmouth. Hyungwon sighed more.

"First off, I don't have a girlfriend. I just like someone... for a very long time. Secondly, stop screaming in my ear. I can hear you."

"Who is it? Tell me, Hyungwon. Please! I need to know!" 

_I shouldn't have._

"You're a blabbermouth, Minhyuk-ah. He's never going to tell you, obviously."

Minhyuk pouted.  _Ugly._ Hyungwon laughed, fist-bumped kihyun. He rarely agrees with Kihyun. This time, he did because it's true.

"I hate you guys." 

"Hate me for all I care, Minhyuk," Kihyun sassed back, erupting another thunderous laughter from Hyungwon. His friends are idiots but they're the best he could ever ask for. 

"Wonho! They're ganging up on me. And where have you been all morning? More of like where were you all week?"

Hyungwon looked up.  _That bastard_. Wonho, the root of all problems that Hyungwon's currently facing. The jerk, who made his Changkyun that way.

Wonho walked towards the gang of rowdy boys. Weary, tired eyes. Disheveled, tousled hair. Wonho looked tired. Hyungwon swore he has no right to feel tired. He's the tired one. Exhausted from waiting for Changkyun all day, every day. Hyungwon rolled his eyes, clucking his tongue in disgust. That boy didn't bother hiding his resentment. Both Kihyun and Minhyuk watched him with curiosity. 

"I... was busy taking care of... stuff," Wonho said. 

 _Stuff? What do you means by 'stuff'? You mean Changkyun?_  Fucking lies, was all he thought. 

"Well, if you have taken good care of it well at first, you wouldn't have to miss a week of school."

That was the melting-point of his patience. At the moment, he was blinded with rancorous rage. It was satisfying. He said that with such bite, making Wonho react. It was definitely satisfying. 

Wonho grabbed the hem of Hyungwon's collar, turning his knuckles white. Hyungwon knew he hit the nail on the head.

"What the fuck, Hyungwon?" Clenched jaws, Wonho scowled. Yep, this guy's triggered and Hyungwon pushed his buttons, on purpose, for 'revenge'. 

"Isn't true? What I said. You could have done a better job but you didn't," Hyungwon challenged. He's not afraid. This friendship could go down the drains for all he care. 

"Woah, woah. What's up with the both of you? Stop." Kihyun intervened before things could get nasty. Hyungwon's thankful for Kihyun at this moment. Or he would have punched the fuck out of Wonho. 

Something ran past. It was fast. But no doubt,  _It's Changkyun._ He was there all along. He heard everything. Hyungwon shoved the ravenette off him. Snatched his bag off the table and ran after the younger one. 

He heard Minhyuk and Kihyun calling out for him but he didn't care. He ran and ran. Chasing after the young one. He was definitely fast but Hyungwon's faster. He secretly thanked God for his long legs.  

"Changkyun!!!!!" The boy ran down the stairs, ignoring his calls.

Hyungwon skipped a few steps, getting closer to Changkyun each second. 

And the boy slipped, he's falling. 

He's falling.

Hyungwon took a huge step forward, swooping Changkyun from behind. Pulled him back to safety, falling backwards with Hyungwon breaking the fall. Hyungwon pulled him into a tight embrace from behind. Never letting go. 

"I hate you. I really hate you," Changkyun mumbled between sobs. Hyungwon heard him. He had no clue what he did but those words undeniably hurt.

"I'm sorry... "

His soft sobs stopped abruptly. 

"... I really hate you." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Changkyun's really broken but he totally misunderstood Hyungwon's intentions D: 
> 
> .... And who is Hyungwon? What does he mean by he liked someone for a very long time....? hOW LONG THO?
> 
> HEHE. some questions for you to think about! 
> 
> See you the next chapter!
> 
> P/S: don't forget to stream Shine Forever! :D


	19. Benevolent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soft lips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with another chapter! Fast isn't it? I have nothing else better to do other than rotting all day at home. So, I write! 
> 
> oooo, things getting angsty-er in this chapter! sorry in advance!

 

**HYUNGWON'S POV**

Even with strong hold, Changkyun managed to pull away from Hyungwon. He ran down the stairs, taking a sharp turn into a toilet. Hyungwon stood up, his hands on his waist. He heaved a heavy sigh. Frustrated was the best word to describe him. But he isn't going to leave Changkyun all alone like that. 

Hyungwon walked in, seeing Changkyun had both of his arms planted on the sink, supporting himself. Changkyun stopped crying but Hyungwon's certain that he will start crying again. Carefully, he approached the boy.

"Chang- Changkyunnie... Are you okay?"

Silence. Only the sound of running tap could be heard. Hyungwon watched the brunette violently rinsed his face. Their eyes made a contact through the mirror. It was awkward. it made the brunette shift his eyes to the side. His eyes glazed with a layer of tears again. He blinked once. Twice. They eventually escaped from his eyelids, sliding down his already wet cheeks. Changkyun bit his lips in an attempt to hide his whimpers. Changkyun rinsed again and again as if doing that will stop his tears from flowing. Hyungwon's heart sank.

"Changkyunnie?" Hyungwon slowly approached the brunette.

"No! Stay away. Don't come near me." 

Changkyun glared at Hyungwon through the reflection. 

"Don't- Just don't come near me..."

"Changkyun-ah..."

Changkyun sobbed into his hands. Mixtures of water and tears dripped between his fingers. Raining down on the sink. His breathing was ragged, gasping for air. He almost sank to his knees as strength left his legs.

Hyungwon scrambled towards Changkyun, embracing him. The brunette trashed around, struggled, attempting to slip from Hyungwon's hold. Incoherent words escaped from his lips.

Hyungwon realised the younger one's having panic attack again.   

"Breathe in. Breathe out," he whispered into Changkyun's ears. 

"It hurts. It- hurts."

"I know."

Hyungwon caressed Changkyun's back in an up and down motion. Calming the boy down. _His panic attacks are getting frequent..._

"It really hurts..."

Hyungwon's crushed. Hyungwon felt incompetent as a person. As a friend. Because whatever he did, wasn't helping Changkyun at all. He doesn't even know why or what caused him to be this way. He just wants Changkyun to get better. 

"I'm sorry... For being useless," Hyungwon whispered, shutting his eyes. Tears threatening to leave.

* * *

"I wonder- What do we have here, the faggot's here again. And he's hugging a guy. Ew." 

Hyungwon's eyes widened. He had his back facing the intruders but he recognised that voice. It's fucking familiar. 

"Wonho, come in quick. Look at this. It's that faggot from that day."

Yep. He's right. It's his fucking idiotic friends. _That day? Did they harassed him before? Is that why he became this way?_ Changkyun's body tensed in his arms. 

"Hyung... I'm scared," he whispered. 

Hyungwon made up his mind then and there. He felt responsible for whatever his friends did to Changkyun. He is going to protect Changkyun. From his own friends.

Hyungwon softly shoved Changkyun to the corner. Changkyun's puppy eyes brimmed with tears. Hyungwon brought up two fingers to his own lips. Subsequently placing it on Changkyun's, gently. Changkyun kissed it. 

_Soft lips._

"You'll be fine, Kyunnie," he softly whispered with a small smile as he turned around, facing his nightmares.

Wonho, Minhyuk and Kihyun. All three of their expressions changed drastically. Mocking smirks disappeared. Knitted eyebrows. Complexions totally drained out of colour. 

"What the fuck are you doing, Hyungwon?" Minhyuk asked in disbelief.

"It's exactly what you're thinking, Minhyuk. Also, you wanted to know right?" he paused. Taking a deep breath, preparing himself. Minhyuk's confused.

"I like this boy, Minhyuk. I really like him. For years now."

His little confession earned him gasps from both Minhyuk and Kihyun. Of course, it was no surprise for Wonho. But nevertheless, he stared into the lanky's eyes icily. 

"You what?" 

"I said I like him. So, stop bothering him, please."

He's afraid. Petrified. Fear travelled in Hyungwon's veins but as usual, he appeared indifferent, nonchalant. He knows he will get shunned and condemned. He knows he will undoubtedly lose his only friends. But if this was the only route available, he will gladly ride through it.

Minhyuk stepped forward, stopping right before Hyungwon. 

"Are you fucking serious?" Minhyuk's eyes bored into the taller one. Hyungwon looked away, staying hushed. 

"Ya! I'm talking to you! Are you implying that you would choose that little faggot over your friends?"

He took a deep breath. But nothing on his face betrayed his fear as he puts on a mask of surety. Something clutched the back of his shirt, quivering.  _It's okay, Changkyun, It will be fine._

"Yes. Say whatever you wanna say to me. Do whatever you wanna do to me. But don't ever lay a finger on him."

At that moment, he knew he fucked up. 

Minhyuk clenched his fist, swinging an arm, landing squarely on Hyungwon's jaw. He felt light-headed, legs giving away. He crumbled down to the toilet floor. His vision momentarily went blurry. He felt someone knelt by him. Cold, slender fingers brushed across the area where he got hit. He's guessing it's Changkyun. 

"Ya, minhyuk. Stop," Wonho warned, holding back the delirious teen.  

"I can't believe you. I thought we were friends!"

Hyungwon hauled himself to his feet, using the ledge of the sink as a support. He looked down with worried eyes. Changkyun's already a crying mess.  _Don't cry, please._ He couldn't bear to see the brunette crying again and again. 

"Minhyuk ah, maybe it's time for you to open up your eyes. I'm not the only one." 

Hyungwon hauled Changkyun up, urging the brunette to stand. Dragged the boy by his arm, past them. Minhyuk froze. Hyungwon definitely hit the bull's eye.

"...What do you mean?" 

The escaping pair halted in their tracks.

"I meant, stop living in denial, Minhyuk. You're the same. You know what I mean."

Before they left, he added, "Same goes for you, Wonho. In order to protect yourself, you selfishly hurt the person who loves you the most."

Hyungwon instantly left the scene with Changkyun in tow, leaving all three boys speechless. 

 

* * *

 

**WONHO's POV**

**"** Guys... Mind explaining? What did he mean by that? Are there things I'm not supposed to know?" Kihyun broke the silence but no one else said anything else.

Wonho bowed down. He was rendered speechless. Dumbfounded by Hyungwon's sharp words that stabbed him right in the guts. This whole situation has proved to him that he's unworthy as a person to love and care for Changkyun. No, in fact, back when he first witnessed Changkyun getting bullied, also joining in the fun afterwards. It's already proven he's unsuitable to love that boy.  

If only he hadn't treated Changkyun like trash, if only he had acknowledged his puppy. He could have been the one holding Changkyun close to him. Not Hyungwon. 

"Let's go back to class. It's 15mins past our break time," Minhyuk spoke.

"You have not answered my question. Minhyuk, Wonho. What the hell is this?" 

_Changkyun._

He needs to find his puppy. He needs to apologise. 

"I need to go somewhere."

"Wonho! Wait!"

He heard the smaller one crying out his name.  _Not now, Kihyun._ He needs to find Changkyun. He never really apologised for any of that but Changkyun forgave him anyway. That boy loves him too much. Only now he realised. It's already too late, isn't it?

* * *

 

**CHANGKYUN'S POV**

"Hyung..."

Classes all around had already begun. They were the only lost souls roaming around the empty corridors. Soft tapping of their indoor shoes resonated the hallway. Hyungwon still dragged him around by the wrist. Not saying a word. 

_Hyung's hurting now, isn't he?_

"Hyungwon Hyung," he called out again, wriggling his wrist from Hyungwon's tight grip.

Hyungwon turned around. The blow had wrecked his beautiful lips, leaving traces of blood on the corner of his lips. Still, Hyungwon still looks great. Still beautiful. 

"You have to get to class now."

"Are you okay?" Changkyun approached him. The same fingers from before probed his injury. Hyungwon flinched.

"Changkyunnie. Don't ignore me. Get to class now."

"You need to care of that."

"I know. Get to class."

"I'll bring you to the nurse's office."

Changkyun turned away, only to be pulled back by Hyungwon. 

"Don't. Ignore. Me."

Changkyun shook his head. He clearly refused to go back to class, looking all wrecked and not when Hyungwon's hurt wholly because of him. Also, he had done something pretty awful. And that's accusing his gentle Hyungwon hyung of being the person he isn't. Evidently, Hyungwon was just as Changkyun originally thought he was. Benevolent. 

"Hyung, let's leave school."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sobs... yes it's too late Wonho. Why won't you learn your lesson!!!!!! 
> 
> And what did Hyungwon meant by 'you are the same'. What did minhyuk do :-O 
> 
> See you next chapter! thank you for reading!


	20. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are sure you're okay, Kyunnie?" 
> 
> "You're injured too."
> 
> "I'm fine."
> 
> "Then, I'm fine too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI!!! back again with updates. Personally, I really love this chapter! I hope you love it too :-) Enjoy!!!!!

**CHANKYUN's POV**

_"Hyung, let's leave school."_

And they really did. Instantaneously, Hyungwon grabbed Changkyun's wrist, dragged the younger one towards the school's exit, hailed down a cab. Without a destination in mind. Without a care in the world. Hyungwon did not even consider the fact they could get into hot water with the teachers.

Oddly, Hyungwon didn't even utter a single word. From when they left the school until they safely set foot in that cab. Not even Changkyun.

He heard his Hyung's little declaration earlier. He heard it. Loud and clear. Hyungwon likes him.  _Hyung likes me._ Changkyun could feel the heat growing in his cheeks. He suppressed his smile, taking a sneaky peek at Hyungwon. Hyungwon certainly looked like he came right out from a movie. Chin resting on the palm of his hand, looking out of the window, watching cars passing by. Hyungwon seemed to be calm but Changkyun knows that a shit tonne of things currently running through his mind. 

"Hyung..."

Hyungwon's lids flickered. Yep, he's definitely in a daze. 

"Mm?" He turned to Changkyun, with a small sad smile.

"Nothing," Changkyun whispered.

Then, they went silent. 

* * *

 

"Hyung, you have a beautiful house."

"Yeah?"

Changkyun nodded, profusely. The older grinned, patting Changkyun's hair. 

Hyungwon's residence screams **_'rich, snobby people stay here'._**  But it's beautifully modern. It's a series of rectangles painstakingly put together. Almost everything was geometrically constructed with steel and glasses. For starters, the roof's flat. Large windows taking up the entire mundane grey walls, letting maximum light in. Even the glass door with metallic trims at the front was wide as it was tall. The house's surroundings were adorned beautifully with various kinds of plants. Not forgetting, the two sleek black cars shaded nicely underneath the shack. 

His hyung's richer than he thought. 

 

Changkyun eyed at the nameplate by the door, ' ** _Sohn'._** _Wait, isn't Hyung a Chae though?_

Hyungwon keyed in the pin on the number keypad opening the door to even more beautiful interior. Changkyun's mouth left agape, doubtlessly awestruck. 

"You look like a puppy," the taller one joked. Changkyun snapped out of it, closing his mouth. He looked away in shame. 

"Hyungwonnie, you're home this early?" a woman with an apron tied around her waist walked out of nowhere, surprising Changkyun. He immediately bowed 90 degrees, crashing his forehead against the corner of the glass table, earning shocked gasps from both Hyungwon and assumably his mother. 

"Sweetheart, are you okay?" the lady rushed to his side, inspecting the small boo-boo on his forehead, which gradually turned blotchy red.

Hyungwon was just as concerned, anxiously massaging his sides. 

In all honesty, Changkyun was really close to crying. It hurt like fuck. Tears were already welling up in the corner of his eyes. Hyungwon caressed the back of his head as if it would ease the pain. It did, actually. But he's a big boy now. He shouldn't cry. 

But he couldn't help it. A drop flowed freely. 

Literally, both went, "aww." 

"I- I am fine." 

"Are you sure?" Hyungwon's eyes showed gentle concern, reminded him of his father. Long fingers lightly brushed across his cheeks, wiping his tears.

Changkyun nodded extensively, giving him a massive headache. His hand brought up to his face, obviously in pain. 

"You're not okay... Hyungwonnie, please bring him to our living room. Let him sit. I'll get an ice pack." 

"Alright, eomma."

Hyungwon guided the little injured one to his living room.

Spacious. Modern pieces of furniture carefully put together. Indeed, the interior was as beautiful as its exterior. Even in pain, Changkyun was still as astonished. 

"Are sure you're okay, Kyunnie?" 

"You're injured too."

"I'm fine."

"Then, I'm fine too."

Hyungwon placed a finger atop Changkyun's lips, bringing back a memory from earlier where Hyungwon indirectly "kissed" him. Not only his bruise is red, his cheeks turning as red too. 

"You have a smart mouth. Shh." 

Changkyun couldn't help it but place a light peck on his pointer.  _Fuck,_ he thought. Hyungwon burned crimson.

"Ahem," Hyungwon's mother returned with an ice pack and a first aid kit. Changkyun instantly turned away from Hyungwon, bowing down in shame. He stole a quick peek at his mother approaching them. He wasn't sure if his mind was playing tricks on him but she had a small smirk on.  

 _What are you doing, Changkyun-ya!_  Changkyun mentally chiding himself for doing something rash in someone else's home. Not just someone but it's his **Hyungwon Hyung** 's home. 

"Are you okay, sweetheart? Is your forehead still hurting?" she paused, turning to Hyungwon, chucking the kit in his arms, "Did you fought, again?"

Changkyun was perplexed by how fast her tone of voice changed within seconds. She was so sweet towards him but really harsh towards her own son. But he's even bewildered by how lightly Hyungwon took it. Hyungwon let out a laugh. 

"No, eomma. I'm your good son. Why would I fight?"

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes, continue with your cooking. I can settle this on my own." 

"Alright, boys. I will get on with my cooking and leave. I have an appointment. You, sweety, make yourself at home."

"... thank you..." 

Changkyun swore he had seen her before but he wasn't sure where though. His mother paused. Turning back at Hyungwon.

"He's still shy as ever."

Hyungwon scrunched his face in frustration, heaving a heavy sigh. Changkyun's confused again.  _Wait, what._

"Ignore her. Come here," patting his lap. Changkyun wasn't sure if Hyungwon asking him to sit on him or something else that never crossed his mind. 

"Wait. What are you thinking, silly pup? Lay your head on my lap. You need to ice it before it swells- See, it's already starting to swell." Hyungwon pulled Changkyun nearer to him, forcing him to rest his head on the older's lap. Changkyun felt shy, covering his embarrassed face with his hands. Hyung nudged his hands away, placing the icepack lightly on his bruising forehead. 

"Shy?"

Changkyun nodded. He wanted to dig a hole somewhere in this house and hide. 

"Cute. Now rest." 

"Hyung, what about your injury," Changkyun said while poking a finger near his mouth. 

Hyungwon hissed in pain. Biting Changkyun's finger for revenge, making Changkyun gasped. Hyungwon convulsed in laughter. It resonated the spacious living room. The poor injured baby giggled along as well, admiring Hyungwon's charming smiles. 

"Hyungwon hyung, you're smiling again. You look like you were in pain earlier. I'm sorry. Because of me, you fought with your friends."

Hyungwon's laughter ceased. The taller looked down at him. 

"Why are you sorry for that? You should be sorry that you never told me you were being bullied.... You never told me Wonho was hurting you a lot as well... You never told me anything... I thought I knew you but I was wrong."

Changkyun choked. His tears were choking him. Hyungwon covered his eyes with his slender fingers. 

"Don't cry anymore. I can't bear to see you cry anymore."

"I'm sorry, Hyung." 

"No, kyunnie. No, I should be sorry. My friends were hurting you a lot. Especially Wonho. I don't know what he did, to be honest. But he's been a jerk to you, I know." 

Changkyun's eyes were still covered. He brought his own hands up to Hyungwon's, pressing it down on his eyes. Changkyun's a sobbing mess, gasping for air every few seconds. Hyungwon's skin was already doused in tears.

* * *

 

**HYUNGWON'S POV**

It's been half an hour already. No one else spoke. His fingers are turning wrinkly from Changkyun's tears. Hyungwon wondered how long more would this poor baby cry. It's hurting him. 

"Kyu-"

"Hyung.."

"Yes?"

"Would you listen if I tell you everything?"

Changkyun shifted his hand away from his eyes.  _It's red. Painfully red._ Yeah, he felt that. He felt his heart breaking into thousands and thousands of glass shards, stabbing his chest. Changkyun laced his fingers with Hyungwon's, resting the joined hands over his chest. Hyungwon noticed the nasty, still-red scars on his Changkyun's wrist. Hyungwon tightened the grip on the other boy's hand.  

"Yes, of course. Tell me. I will listen. Everything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHO IS SOHN!??! Hyungwon's supposedly a Sohn? Not a Chae?! This boy is suspicious. His mother too. /GASPS/  
> And Changkyun's finally gonna let Hyungwonnie know about his time with Wonho. 
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> P/S: Sigh, i'm sorry guys. It's getting lengthy, isn't it? I hope it doesn't bore you D: I really wanted to build the characters slowly.  
> P/P/S: sorry wonkyun stans! Don't worry i will write another alternative ending to this. because i love wonho's character too. D:  
> P/P/P/S: i'm gonna start on another fanfic soon! heheheheh. I hope you will like the other one as much as you love this T_T 
> 
> See you on the next chapter!


	21. Dilemma / Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hyung, my eyes hurts."
> 
> "You were crying your eyes out."
> 
> "Kissed it for me."
> 
> "Shameless."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEW CHARACTER INTRO!!! heheh guess who!! 
> 
> Sorry, it's kinda messy! ;_; My thoughts process were really slow today.  
> But in the end, I just decided to go with this. 
> 
> Sorry!!

**WONHO's POV**

_I can't find him. I failed. Where did you go, Changkyun? Where are you now? I failed. What am I doing? I failed. I failed. I failed._

"Wonho-ah! Where did you go?!" Kihyun shrieked.

His legs managed to bring him back to his class. An empty class with only Kihyun left.

"Kihyun, I can't find him. I failed. I don't know where he went."

He sat on his desk. The other boy rushed to him. Worry started spreading through Wonho's mind like cancer. His chest's heavy with extreme agony.

"Wonho... You're scaring me. Are you talking about Hyungwon? If so, please forget it."

Wonho took in a deep, ragged breath before placing his hands, enclosed together, on his desk. 

"I can't find Changkyun. It's my fault. I shouldn't have ignored him.  I- I've hurt him so many times. I failed to protect him. I even allowed Minhyuk to lash out on him."

He added, "I have failed as a friend, Kihyun. I-I Love him so much yet I can't even defend him. I..."

"What? You what?"

Layer by layer, frustration built up. He felt he might explode. He does not want to be shunned by his friends but yet he does not want to hurt Changkyun anymore. He finally let them go; his tears full of frustration. 

"Kihyun-ah, I don't care if you find me nauseating or you'll hate me but I've always liked my childhood friend and he's that boy from earlier," he paused taking a deep breath.

"But, I'm living in denial. I loved him so much yet I kept hurting him again and again because I was being selfish. I didn't want to lose any of you. That's why, I rarely talked about myself because I'm disgusting."

Kihyun looks appalled.  _I'm going to lose my friends, am I?_

Wonho shut his eyes. _This is a bad nightmare. Wake up._  He wants to restart. He wants to treat Changkyun better. He wants to tell the whole world that he's in love with a boy. But it's already too late. He's going to lose his friends. He's going to lose Changkyun. He's going to lose everything. 

"Wonho." Wonho felt a comforting hand atop of his own. He slowly opened his eyes. Kihyun's displeased look replaced with concerned one.

"It's okay to like a boy. I'm sorry if i ever offended you. I admit my childishness was hurting many people around me. I understand now. You won't lose me, at least. I'll still be a friend. If you still don't mind acquainting with a person like me."

"Kihyu-"

"I promise I'll change. But first, you should go find that kid before it's too late."

Kihyun patted his hand. Wonho felt a tonne of burden lifted off his chest. He's relieved that Kihyun understands him. He wiped those strayed tears on his face, grinning from ear to ear. 

"Thank you, Kihyun."

"Yeah, yeah. Take your bag and go," Kihyun smiled as well. 

Wonho happily swooped his bag from underneath his desk, waving to Kihyun. He slid the door to two familiar guard dogs, safeguarding the exit. 

"Wonho-sunbaenim. Where are you going? We have shit to settle with you."

* * *

  **HYUNGWON's POV**

 "Ya. Hyungwon-ah. Wake up."

A light nudge on his shoulder woke Hyungwon instantly. Swollen eyes flung wide open, choking on the sudden intake of air. Waking up was a chore for him but at that moment, he woke up right away. Everything was blurry, Hyungwon slowly processed his surroundings. He stretched his arms, leaning back against the couch realising he's not in his room. A face came up to view, with a small smile. 

"Hyunwoo Hyung," he called out to the person that's hovering over him.

"Hyungwon-ah. Who is that?" Hyunwoo pointed out to snoring puppy, resting on his lap.

His eyes fell on the sleeping boy. It brings back the memories from earlier afternoon. Hyungwon remembered. He remembered everything Changkyun said. From A to Z. Everything.

 Poor baby bawled his eyes out while explaining the intricate relationship Changkyun and Wonho has. Thinking about it made Hyungwon's blood boil. His heart hurts. That jerk needs to be pulverised immediately.

 From what Hyungwon listened and observed, Changkyun had already developed toxic feelings for Wonho. It fucked him up bad, inside out. Changkyun no longer able to differentiate between real love and pure obsession. He submitted to Wonho's sexual pleas because he thinks that's the only way Wonho would love him the same. Since Changkyun had no one else before, he overly-relied on Wonho for affection which caused him to be this way. Changkyun was afraid. Afraid that Wonho might leave. Which that jerk did. Several times before.

 These are all assumptions. Hyungwon never heard the other side of the story. It's wrong but it's almost impossible to stay rational at this point of time. Wonho needs to pay for his mistakes. Hyungwon will see through it. 

He needs to wake the puppy up. It was getting late. The sun's already down eons ago. 

 "Changkyun. Changkyunnie. Kyunnie," Hyungwon pat his cheeks, rubbed his tummy, ruffled his hair. Annoyed the hell out of the younger one.

 Changkyun whined, stretching his arms above his head, finding its place around Hyungwon's waist, snuggling against Hyungwon's torso. 

 "Kyunnie. You got to wake up. It's getting late," 

 Only incoherent nonsense slipped out from his mouth.

 

"Hyungwon-ah, I'm going up first," Hyunwoo turned on his heels, leaving them in pure darkness.  _He probably felt awkward._

 "Kyunnie, my princess. Wake up, Baby. Honey. Sweetheart. Please wake up," Hyungwon whispered softly in his exposed ear, making sure no one else heard it. 

 "Hyung, stop. I'm shy."

 "You were awake." 

 "Yes, I was. You didn't check properly."

 "Shut up, smart mouth."

 Changkyun turned facing upwards. His eyes. Yes, Changkyun's eyes. Puffy and inflamed. 

 "Hyung, my eyes hurts."

 "You were crying your eyes out."

 "Kissed it for me."

 "Shameless." 

Changkyun unsubtly pouted, his lips jutting out. Looks like he is asking to be kissed.

"Close your eyes."

 

Changkyun obeyed, slowly closing his eyes. His dark, long lashes brushed against his cheeks.  _Beautiful_. The soft light from outside accentuates his soft features. Tall nose. Tempting lips. _So beautiful_. Hyungwon swept those soft wisps of honey hair across his forehead, grazing the bump, making the boy winced in pain.Hyungwon muttered a soft apology before he moved closer. And closer. Locking his eyes onto Changkyun's lips, staring at it for what it seemed like hours. Hyungwon held his breath as he leant towards the other boy, tentatively pressing his lips against the other soft one. Such delicate lips. Hyungwon's mind went hazy. Is this how a kiss feels like? 

 "Hyung..."

 "Sorry," Hyungwon muttered under his breath, looking away.

Hyungwon's insides were melting. That little kiss stirring up shit in his chest. He shouldn't have done it though. Hyungwon felt like he was taking advantage on the younger one while he's still in his vulnerable state.

 "No, hyung. I felt better."

 "Really?"

 "Yes, really really." Changkyun reached to rub his Hyung's cheek. It took every muscle of Hyungwon's to stop himself from leaning into Changkyun's touch. But, it was too late anyway. Hyungwon melted, bringing his hand up to Changkyun's, pressing it against his own cheek. Hyungwon became even bolder by planting a myriad of kisses on the back of Changkyun's hand.  

 "Ahem."

 Changkyun sat up swiftly, knocking his head against Hyungwon's. Both roared in pain. 

 "Hyung!!!!!" Hyungwon calling out to Hyunwoo, standing across the couch.

"what did I do?" _Ah this clueless man_

 

* * *

  **CHANGKYUN'S POV**

 "...Thank you for sending me home, Hyunwoo-nim."

 "Just call me hyung. You're my younger brother's friend anyway."

  _Ah... This is awkward. Help._

 What a well-thought idea from Hyungwon. Hyungwon offered to send him home on his brother's car. Without Hyungwon tagging along because he was really sleepy.  _Hyungwon_ _hyung_ _is_ _mean_. 

Changkyun really hates tight spaces with people he isn't familiar with. Especially in cars. Hyunwoo is an awkward man too. So that makes two awkward people in a car with heavy silence. To make things worse, Changkyun was seated on the front passenger seat. 

"So... I heard you know each other for quite a long time?"

 _Oh, no. He's talking to me. Help. I can't breathe_. 

"I-I... Only knew him... re-recently."

Changkyun clutched the seatbelt tightly. So tight, it almost felt like he could tear it with his bare hands.

"But I heard from Hyungwon's mother that you two were childho- Um. Are you okay? You seem to be having hard time breathing."

It may not show on his face but Hyunwoo's voice was quivering. He anxiously pulled over on the side of the road, proceeding to unbuckle Changkyun's seatbelt. 

"Are you having asthma? Do you have the inhaler?" 

"No, I'm not having asthma. I'm having difficulties brea-breathing because I... hyung... I.."

Hyunwoo muttered a soft 'oh'. He unwinded the car's window, letting fresh air in. 

"Is this better?"

Changkyun nodded curtly. The tightness in his chest would not go away. He wished Hyungwon hyung's here... or even Wonho hyung. He would feel better instantly.

"Your wrists..."

Changkyun hid them.

 _Oh no, he's gonna judge me. I hate this i wanna go home. I want Hyungwon hyung_. 

Hyunwoo noticed the younger's teary eyes. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. Um, sorry, I should take you home now." 

"Sorry..."

Hyunwoo remained motionless, watching the poor boy scratching his scars.

"Stop that. You're gonna hurt yourself."

Hyunwoo stopped Changkyun's hands, making sure he wouldn't hurt himself again. He let out a soft sigh, reviving the engine.

 _Great Changkyun, you made Hyungwon's brother hate you._  

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it messy? D: I hope it's okay to you! D: 
> 
> Kihyun understand Wonho. GOOD KIHYUN!
> 
> By the way, I love how soft the kiss Hyungwon and Changkyun shared (I hope you liked it too because it's the only scene i like in this chapter) D:
> 
> I need to write more fluffy (or a smut scene) for them but it's too early! 
> 
> And shownu being shownu just like how he is in real life ;_;
> 
> P/S: I like Hyungwon calling changkyun his princess. ;_;


	22. Frightening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hyung, what are you doing? You're scaring me."
> 
> "I... am sorry. I.. Just love you so much."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WANNA REALLY APOLOGISE TO WONKYUN STANS IN ADVANCE D:
> 
> Enjoy though! 
> 
> Sorry ;_;
> 
> /whispers/ i really love wonkyun, believe me.

**CHANGKYUN'S POV**

"Well, then have a good night, Changkyun-ah."

"... Thank you, Hyunwoo hyung."

Hyunwoo gave a curt nod.

"Try... not to hurt yourself anymore. People all around care for you. Goodnight." 

And he drove away, leaving Changkyun speechless. 

 _He's nice._ Changkyun overturned his forearms, inspecting the mess he made. Fresh new gashes are added to his little 'collection'. He exhaled. He's really sick of his rash tendencies to mar his body. But he just can't help it.

* * *

 

Changkyun entered his house, lights were all dimmed to the minimum. Odd, Mrs Lim likes their house to be well lit. Usually, she would greet him by the door too.  _Where is she?_   Bad thoughts crossed his mind.

_No, please let there be nothing._

He couldn't breathe. His heart rate gradually increased by the second. Sudden meaningless fear is eating him up. His mind making up stupid scenarios, giving him the worse jitters.

He clambered upstairs checking every room, his parent's room, his father's office, even the bathroom. There's no one. 

"Eomma?" Changkyun cried out for his momma but no one responded. 

_Why am I feeling this way? My chest hurts._

He fumbled for his phone from his back pocket. He needs his mother. He felt like a kid losing a mother in a huge supermarket. He called her again and again. No one picked up either. 

"Hyungwon hyung," he thought. Hyungwon would probably calm him down. He punched his digits in and called. 

It rang and rang and rang. By the fourth ring, someone picked up.

"Hyung, I'm scared. Eomma's not around. My chest hurt. Where's everybody? I'm really scared."

"Changkyunnie? Calm down okay? I.. I will go over your house. Just wait for me alright. Give me a sec. Stay on the phone alright." 

His sleepy voice calms him just a little.

"I cannot breathe..." 

Changkyun heard shifting noises and different talking voices from the other end of the line.

"Hyung..."

It drowned out. He could only hear his loud gasps for air. And his heart's pounding really loudly in his ears. He couldn't focus. His eyesight became blurry but not because his tears were welling up. Out of blue, everything became fuzzy and then he sees all white. He felt his body losing consciousness. He's falling back. Falling. He knows he's going to hit the floor. Instead, he felt warm arms, cushioning his fall. All the feeling in his body slowly drained away until finally, everything turned black. 

* * *

"Kkungkungie?" 

Changkyun woke up in a daze, on the ground with arms wrapped around his waist, tightly clutching onto his phone.

"Kkungkungie... Are you okay?" 

Disorientated, Changkyun looked at the person holding him.  _Wonho Hyung._

"Wonho hyung!!!" Changkyun hooked his arms around the ravenette's neck. Hugging him, tightly.

"Yes, yes. I'm here."

"I scared. I'm really scared. Eomma isn't here."

"Kkungkungie... I told you that your father's coming back tonight, right? She went to fetch him. They're having dinner outside too. She told me to take care of you."

"...I forgot about that."

Changkyun's tensed body loosen up, heartbeat moderated.  

"I know, that's why I'm here. Are you feeling better?"

"I feel better with you here. I'm sleepy, Hyung. Take me to bed." Changkyun rested his head in the crook of Wonho's neck. His head's still spinning. 

Wonho hoisted the puppy, holding him close to his chest. _Oh my god._ _Hyungwon hyung._ His eyes glanced at the phone in his clutches.

"Changkyun, please don't move. You will fall."

"But..." he decided to keep quiet. 

_Hyungwon hyung must have heard everything._

Changkyun's consciousness slipping away by the second. He felt drained out and sleepy. He gently closed his eyes. Soon, he felt his body hit against the soft material. Changkyun's sunken in, as if the bed's swallowing him whole. Changkyun slowly drifted off to sleep, with his phone still in his hands. However, something's stopped him from sleeping. He felt the bed shifted. He fought with sleepiness, opening his eyes to Wonho hovering over him. 

Fear took over his exhaustion completely. 

"Hyung, what are you doing? You're scaring me."

"I... am sorry. I.. Just love you so much."

* * *

**HYUNGWON's POV**

 

_MY BABY_

Hyungwon dropped his heavy body on his bed, long limbs splayed all over. Hyungwon felt bad for leaving his Changkyunnie with his awkward step brother. But Hyunwoo hyung's nice anyway and Changkyun would be fine; he has nothing to worry about. 

Hyungwon brought his fingers to his dry, chapped lips. It was a really long and hectic day for him, experiencing strings of emotions in a day. Exasperation. Heartbreak. And a little contentment. But it was worth it. He stole a kiss from Changkyun, his old time crush. Cliche as it seems, it was really Hyungwon's first kiss. 

Hyungwon rolled around his bed, giggling. Changkyun's unquestionably adorable. From when he first met Changkyun until now. Yes, they've met before way back before high school.

 

He remembered his 12-year-old self, comforting the 10-year-old crying Changkyun that was left all alone in the park. None of them knew each other but his tenderhearted 12-year-old self, stopped playing ball with his friends to console the younger. He recalled the younger claimed that he had no friends because he shifted houses a lot. Hyungwon listened to him even though he had difficulty understanding the boy's atrocious Korean. But nevertheless, he made the younger one show up to the park every day to play. Hyungwon even brought him over to his house and his mother would whip up some dishes for them.

Unfortunately, one day, Changkyun vanished in thin air. Hyungwon looked high and low for that boy but he was never found. Hyungwon became dispirited for a while. It felt like a part of him went missing, along with Changkyun. But he had never forgotten about that boy.

Oh boy, but it was fate that brought him back them back together. Hyungwon immediately recognised Changkyun's adorable face when he first stepped in school. Hyungwon wasn't daring enough to approach him, so he kept a low profile and observed him from afar. He was doing a good job until he had to notice Changkyun breaking down in the library. But, ouch, it seemed Hyungwon had escaped Changkyun's memory. Not to mention, their 'first' encounter sucked balls because Changkyun ran away in embarrassment.

 _Cute._ Thinking about Changkyun made Hyungwon a little excited but he needs sleep. He positioned himself well on the bed and he immediately went out like a light. 

* * *

 

The phone buzzed near Hyungwon's pillow, waking him instantly. He had one eye opened, burning from his screen's brightness.

**_Puppy Kyun! Calling_ **

 

 _What's wrong? Oh shit._ Hyungwon seemed more alert and wide awake. He picked up. The first thing he heard was Changkyun's incomprehensible crying. His Changkyun sounded frightened. Hyungwon's uneasy.  _God please, let it be nothing._

"Changkyunnie, calm down."

"Hyung, I'm scared. Eomma's not around. My chest hurt. Where's everybody? I'm really scared."

"Changkyunnie? Calm down okay? I.. I will go over your house. Just wait for me alright. Give me a sec. Stay on the phone alright." 

"I cannot breathe..." 

 _Oh fuck,_ he thought. He rushed out of his room to the study room beside his. He fumbled for the land line, punching his brother's number in. He switched his cell phone on speaker but really, it was dead silent. He placed his house telephone's receiver on his ears, the loud ringing irritated him. He bit his nails to the skin.

His brother picked up.

"Hyung. Hyung, where are you?"

"I am close to home already. Why?"

"Changkyun's in trouble. He called, crying hysterically. I need to check up on him."

"Ah.. how about I turn back and check on him asap? You can ask Ahjusshi to drive you there."

"Sounds good. Alright. Please make sure he is safe, alright?" 

"Yes, don't worry."

**_THUD THUD THUD._ **

Hyungwon heard footsteps, followed by a shriek of Changkyun's name. It sounded familiar but his mind's too chaotic to recognise that voice. 

Hyungwon looked down on what he's wearing.  _Ah, fuck it._ To hell with it. He has to check up on Changkyun. Who would care if he's wearing weird patterned lounge pants? 

He ran down. 

* * *

 

"Uncle Jong sorry I woke you up. Can you drive quickly?"

"It's okay, young master. Sit back, buckle up."

The engine started, driving off into the darkness. He placed the receiver end on his ear.

Oh. He fucking heard something. It's definitely Wonho.

**_"I feel better with you here. I'm sleepy, Hyung. Take me to bed."_ **

Hyungwon gripped his phone tightly.  _What the fuck is Changkyun is saying?_ He's mad. Real mad. But he can't blame that boy anyway... Changkyun's too emotionally attached to Wonho. They have even done unimaginable things together. 

But the sounds of strange movements at the receiving end was starting to agitate and also scare Hyungwon a little. He heard a soft thud and Changkyun whining a little. Hyungwon's ear perked up at every sound he heard.  

**_CREAK._ **

" ** _Hyung, what are you doing? You're scaring me."_**

**_"I... am sorry. I.. Just love you so much."_ **

He then heard endless struggling and rustling, followed by series of ** _'Stop it'_** and  ** _'I'm sorry.'_**

 

 __It's frightening. Hyungwon wants to cry.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some of you who are curious, Changkyun experiences panic attacks very often. But in this chapter it was bad to the point he hyperventilated a little too much. If you hyperventilate, means you are over-breathing, which decreases the CO2 level in your body. And sometimes that can cause you to faint. Which, unfortunately happened to Changkyun! 
> 
> /whispers/ I'm not a medical student but I did some research before writing this! so correct me if i'm wrong, alright! HAHA D: 
> 
> P/S: what did Wonho do to Changkyun? D: SAVE HIM HYUNGWON!!!! 
> 
> See you on the next one! Thank you for reading!


	23. Violated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Can you fix me?"  
> "I will, I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really sorry wonkyun stans D:
> 
> This chapter is really boring, SORRY!

**WONHO's POV**

"Thank you, Kihyun."

"Yeah, yeah. Take your bag and go," Kihyun genuinely smiled at Wonho.

Wonho felt free. The heavy weight lifted from his shoulders. He could shout to the entire universe that he likes Changkyun, without fear of losing his friends. Although it may take awhile for Minhyuk to accept him, he's more confident now. Hopes were shining on him.

He strode towards the classroom door, almost skipping. He needs to find Changkyun first.  _I should go his house._ He slid the door to two familiar guard dogs, blocking out his exit. 

"Wonho-sunbaenim, where are you going? We have shit to settle with you," the familiar said student held up a black backpack, waving it in the air. Wonho deep down knows who it belonged to.  _Changkyunnie._

* * *

 Wonho trailed behind the boys, turning right into an empty classroom. 

"Sunbae, close the door behind you."

 _Shit._ He's having the cold feet. He must've done wrong to these two. 

"Sunbae, I'm sure you've seen us before but I'm Jooheon and this is Gunhee. We're Changkyun's friends."

_I never knew Changkyunnie had friends... That boy never told me anything._

"We heard it."

"Heard what...?"

"What you said to your friend earlier."

Wonho felt sweat drenched his skin. He tried calming down, yet deep down below, his fear starts creeping up. He's afraid. 

"I don't know what is your relationship between you and Changkyun," Jooheon paused, taking a deep breath. He's furious.

"You were saying you allowed your friends to hurt Changkyun? While you stood by and watched him get mocked at?" 

Wonho speechless. It sounded absurd. But Jooheon was right. Wonho did that.

"Do you fucking know that there were rumours about him were going around while he was away? It was hard shutting them up and when he came back, he heard everything? Do you know that?" 

_What._

"Your friends were the ones spreading shit like he's gay and it's infectious. Or like the fact he... he hurt himself. Saying he's depressed, mocking him for it." 

_I don't know any of this. Must be fucking Minhyuk._

"You're his friend... And you fucking allowed it?" 

Jooheon grabbed his collar, raising his fist in the air. Wonho flinched, holding up his hands in defence.

"You said you love him but not once, you have ever treasured his existence." 

"Hit me," mumbled Wonho, lowering down his guard. 

"What?"

"Hit me, I deserved it. I did wrong. But I treasured him more than you think."

Jooheon pushed him in anger. He fell back against a table. 

"If you did, he wouldn't self-harm? He wouldn't suffer because of your friends? He wouldn't have..."  Out of blue, Jooheon shed bitter tears.

"You... have no idea how lonely he felt... It hurts me seeing it. You claimed that you cherished him but you are never there. I've only see Hyungwon-hyung constantly there," he started sobbing. For a tough guy like him, he sure shed a lot of tears. 

 _Hyungwon. It's always Hyungwon. Who is he to Changkyunnie anyway?_ Wonho looked down in guilt. Whatever Jooheon said was 100% accurate. 

"I like Changkyun but he only sees me as a good friend. I could accept that but I would hate it if he chose a wicked person like you. I would never allow it."

Jooheon swiping Changkyun's bag from the floor, handing it over to him, 

"I heard from Hyungwon hyung that you two are neighbours. Pass this back to him."

Jooheon walked off, with Gunhee lagging behind, patting Wonho's shoulder on the way out.

"Don't hurt him anymore or we will seriously kick you. Bye-bye sunbae," Gunhee whispered.

Yeah. Everything's his fault. He seriously fucked up this time. He has done innumerable wrong towards Changkyun.  _What can I do to get you back...?_ _Changkyun I really love you._

* * *

 

 

**CHANGKYUN'S POV**

"Hyung, what are you doing? You're scaring me..." 

"I... am sorry. I-I just love you so much."'

_W-what is hyung doing to me?_

Wonho placed a finger against his chapped lips. Scooting closer to Changkyun's ear. 

"Be a good boy for me, Changkyun. I'm sorry but I'm gonna make you mine tonight. You should only love me," he whispered. 

"Hyung, stop it. I don't want it this way."

Wonho straddled on top of Changkyun, holding the puppy down. Wonho stripped off Changkyun's shirt off his sweaty torso, making him shiver. The cold air erected Changkyun's nips. He's starting to get hot. 

_Stop. Hyung._

Changkyun shut his eyes. He began to feel hands caressing his bag of bones. Cold fingers brushed against his nipples. He whimpered from being a little pleasured and a little scared. He hates it. He refused to have it this way.  

"Hyung stop it. I don't wanna."

"I-I'm sorry."

 _Lies._ Wonho's apologising but his hands roamed down to Changkyun's crotch. He's feeling it but  _I hate this._ Changkyun trashed around. His hands flailed about, swinging them against Wonho's chest.  _I really don't want this._ The ravenette caught his arms, holding it down above his head. The older crashed his lips against Changkyun's, forcing wet kisses on him. Tasted like hard liquor. _Has hyung been drinking?_

In between those kisses, all Changkyun heard was apologies. He felt soft plops against his cheeks. His eyelids flung opened. _Hyung's crying._

Wonho halted abruptly, resting his forehead against the brunette's. Breathing heavily. Even the grip on Changkyun's wrist loosen. Wonho's tears rained down on Changkyun.  

"Hyung?"

"I'm sorry, Changkyun. I have hurt you. I thought you would love me by doing this... But you hate it. You're hurting again. I-I'm sorry..."

Changkyun felt Wonho's body weakly crashed on his. Wonho's hands deserted his, moving back to his sides. Wonho's head rested in the crook of Changkyun's neck, dampening his shoulder with tears. 

"Hyung, please don't cry."

Changkyun's hands travelled to Wonho's back, enveloping the sobbing boy into a warm hug. Wonho slowly melted in his arms, murmuring soft sorries. 

"I know you didn't mean it... It's okay, I understand."

No replies. Just soft sobs. Changkyun closed his eyes, patting Wonho's back, comforting the crying child.

* * *

 

"Ya, you! What are you doing to Changkyun?!"

 He felt Wonho's body peeled away from his. Changkyun quickly unbarred his eyes, sitting up on his bed. 

"Hyunwoo hyung?"

Hyunwoo hyung has a tight grip on Wonho's collar. Wonho standing weakly on his feet. 

"What are you doing to him?!" 

"I violated him. Hit me."

Changkyun panicked. He was fast on his feet, halting Hyunwoo's fist from landing on Wonho's face. 

"Hyung, it's okay he didn't do it. He's a little intoxicated."

"Changkyun-ah. Stay away. He violated you."

_No no no no. Why is this happening?_

"Hyung, he really did not. I can assure you."

"Hyungwon has told me to protect you. So, please stay away."

Wonho pushed Hyunwoo away off him, making the big guy lose his balance, falling backwards. 

"Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Hyungwon. Why is it always Hyungwon? What does he have that I don't?" Wonho laughed hysterically, but his tears streamed down his already wet cheeks.  

"Respect." 

Hyunwoo picked himself up, moving closer to Changkyun, shielding the boy. 

"Leave. Before I change my mind about hurting you."

Wonho nodded, with a pained expression, whispering a soft sorry. He left like a bat out of hell. Changkyun called out to him, but he ignored every of his puppy's cries. He was about to take off after him, but was dragged back into his room by Hyunwoo. 

"Don't. Let him be. He needs to cool off."

"But..."

"No buts." That's that.

Hyunwoo's authoritative voice made him obliged. He's not to step a foot away from his room. He plopped down his bed, bringing his knees close to his chest. He was sweating bullets. So damn afraid that his precious hyung might do something rash. He held his knees closer, his head between his knees, crying discreetly.

Hyunwoo pats his head, giving back the discarded shirt to Changkyun, urging the boy to get dressed. The brunette brushed his hands off. 

Soft vibrations reverberate around the quiet room. Changkyun flinched but stayed down. 

"Hello? Yeah? He is... Kinda. Come up here. I'll leave this to you. I.." Hyunwoo's voice distant. Changkyun's glad he left. He doesn't care anymore. All he wants is Wonho. 

* * *

 

In no time, he heard soft thuds, against the timber parquet flooring. 

"Changkyunnie?"

Changkyun looked up, with his tearful eyes. It's his Hyungwon hyung.

"Kyunnie, are you okay?" He advanced towards Changkyun, kneeling before him.

"Am I disgusting?" 

Hyungwon took a while to reply, hesitating, unsure why he asked.

"No, you're not," he said with absolute certainty. 

"Then... Why do I still want Wonho by my side even if he kinda... kinda violated me?" 

Changkyun felt sick in his stomach. Even if he damn well knows it's morally wrong, he still wants Wonho. Hyungwon was taken aback by his words. He shifted to Changkyun's side, snaking his arm around Changkyun's bared waist, pulling the boy closer. 

"You're not, Kyunnie. You just... love him a little too much. Too much that it's harming you."

"Can you fix me? I don't wanna love Wonho-hyung anymore," he rested his head on Hyungwon's shoulder. It felt right yet wrong. 

"I will, I promise. I won't hurt you either. So, please, feel better soon."  

"Hyung..." Changkyun curved his arms around Hyungwon's neck while straddling his lap. The older hugged back, placing a soft peck on the other boy's naked shoulder. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor joohoney. You're the nicest friend ever though :'-)
> 
> YAY TO SHOWNU APPA FOR saving the day. 
> 
> and Bad wonho!!! That's not how to get Changkyun to love you only D: 
> 
> D: Ahhh, it's really boring, sorry!! It will be better on the next one! please wait for it! D:


	24. A Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I promise you, I will heal you. I will fix you. I will cherish you. I will love you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a cute chapter. Hyungkyun's relationships starts now !!!!!!!!

**HYUNGWON's POV**

"Kyunnie, are you asleep?"

The shirtless brunette breathes out soft snores against his outstretched nape. Arms hanged on loosely around his neck. The lack of response affirmed he went out like a light.  _Oh, he's asleep._ Like a real baby. The little puppy fell asleep in Hyungwon's arms after crying his lungs out. Snots of a brat and buckets of tears dampened Hyungwon's t-shirt but he didn't mind at all. Because it's Changkyun after all. 

"Princess..."

His delicate slender fingers danced across the puppy's nude back, covering every inch of his exposed back. From the nape to the small of his back. Changkyun shuddered, tautened his hold around Hyungwon's neck. His smaller frame automatically retreated from Hyungwon's fingertips. Hyungwon loved his subtle reaction, making him unable to suppress the urge to tease the puppy.

"Princess, wake up. Wear your shirt." 

Hyungwon's naughty fingers roamed further down stopping just before the waistband of his school pants.  _Wait. I shouldn't do this. He just got... HOLD IT IN, HYUNGWON._ Yes, bad timing for Hyungwon to get a little stiffy from touching the sleeping boy. To make things even worse, Changkyun soft round butt positioned nicely on his lap, his hard on pressing against the other boy's soft prick.  _What have I become? CONTROL, HYUNGWON._

"Kyunnie, please wake up. At least wear your shirt," he warned a little louder, gaining a soft grunt as a response. Changkyun shifted making the older one feel more uncomfortable than before. At that moment, Hyungwon kept chanting ' ** _mind over body_**  ' on his head countless times.

Nope, he can't do this anymore. Hyungwon aroused from his position, with Changkyun held on tightly closely to his chest. He lay out the puppy against his back on the soft mattress, wrapping the boy in the soft blanket around him, in case he gets cold.

He's gonna settle the 'little Hyungwon' problem by himself. He would never do such perverted things to Changkyun without permission. Silence doesn't mean consent. He would not stoop as low as Wonho. He sighed, leaving the bedroom in search of a bathroom. 

* * *

 

"That was... satisfying," he whispered to himself, blushing. Patting his tummy.

Although, he couldn't forgive himself for using Changkyun as a jack-off material. But hey, at least, it's sort of better than violating the boy himself. 

"What was satisfying?" 

Hyungwon took a sudden huge intake of air, choking him. The sudden appearance of a middle age man startled him. 

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

"Oh no, it's okay."  _Shit, who is this? I bet he thinks I'm a weird stranger loitering in his house._

"I'm Mr Lim. You are?" he smiled, with no bad intentions, holding out a hand to shake hands with the lanky boy. 

Round thick glasses rested on the bridge of the man's nose. His puny body dressed in a nice grey suit, with a matching tie.  _Damn._ The man looks like Changkyun. Except older.  _He must be Changkyun's father._

"I-I am Chae Hyungwon. Ch-changkyun's fan... I mean. Friend. Yes. A senior but a close friend," returning the man's handshake. His palms started to get a little sweaty. The firm handshake gave him the jitters. 

This man's intimidating.

"Oh Hyungwon-ssi, thank you for being our Changkyunnie's friend. But may i ask what are you doing here at 12am?" 

_Oh my god. I got carried away jerking off. I didn't realise it's past twelve. Wait... where did Uncle Jong go..... Did he leave without me?_

"Chae hyungwon-ssi?" the man waved his hands in front of him. 

"Ah- I-I was taking care of Changkyun. He suddenly fainted... from... from... being anxious. He forgot Mrs Lim went out."

"Hmm, I see, but why wouldn't Wonho... take care of him instead? 

_Shit. Fuck. Jesus. Help. Why is he asking me this?_

"Um... He was here but he had to take care of something. So I came over instead."

"Oh, in that?"

Hyungwon looked down to where he's pointing. His ugly lounge pants. He knew he should've changed. His flowery patterned pants were embarrassing him. 

"Yeah... I rushed.. here... hearing Changkyun's isn't well."

Hyungwon swore he felt he's getting interrogated by an officer and that he's pleaded guilty committing a crime. And that crime is wearing this ugly floral pants meant for Ahjummas only.

"Honey. The kid is scared of you. Stop scaring him. Hyungwonnie, how are you?"

 _OH YES MY SAVIOUR._ Mr Lim blatantly faked a cough, walking away from both of them.

"Oh, Mrs Lim. I'm fine, thank you."

"Hyungwonnie, i told you to call me eomma. My son's friends are my sons too. How is he? I received multiple calls and a message from Wonho."

"Wonho?"

"Yeah, he told me you'd be here and Changkyun had a little breakdown and he fainted. My poor baby. Thank you for being here."

 _Yeah but he didn't mention he tried raping your son, Mrs Lim._ He sighed inwardly. 

"It's a no problem. Changkyun's problems are mine too. Oh, I should get going since you're back home!"

"Do you have transport back home? it's kinda late. I'm worried."

"I will be fine, M.. Eomma!"

Mrs. Lim stretched her arm, patting Hyungwon's head. It' nice to receive affection from parents. He misses his mom. If only his mom were less stricter towards him.

* * *

 

Hyungwon walked out, praising the lord as soon as his eyes caught his family car. Uncle Jong waited for him. 

"Uncle Jong. Sorry. Take me home."

"It's okay. Alright, second young master."

Long, long day indeed for Hyungwon. All he wants to do is lie down on his bed, and probably think about Changkyun before sleeping. That is his every night routine anyway.

There's one thing he knows for sure now. He has a chance. There's definitely a little tiny space for him in Changkyun's little heart. It may be difficult, but he's going to try his hardest to heal Changkyun's broken heart. Shower the puppy with all the love he deserved. 

Hyungwon slipped his hands into his ugly pants's pockets, reaching out for his phone. 

****_To: Puppy Kyun! :  
_ _Hi, Princess._   
_You are asleep but sweet dreams alright? I promise you, I will heal you. I will fix you. I will cherish you. I will love you._   
_(Yes. I like you. A lot.)_

_Good night, sweet dreams baby :D_

He cringed but it's worth being cringey for Changkyun. 

* * *

 

**CHANGKYUN'S POV**

"Princess are you awake?"

"Hyung... I'm not a princess."

"You're wide awake, princess."

"I'm not a princess."

"I'm outside here waiting for you." 

"You're ignoring me."

"Hurry up, princess. Before I leave you."

Today's a new day. New start for Changkyun. It's an cowardice act but he's going to avoid Wonho. He's afraid Wonho might lose control over himself and does weird things to Changkyun. 

Changkyun likes doing weird things with Wonho. Just not that way. He hates being forced.

* * *

 

"Princess, what took you so long?"

Changkyun ran up to Hyungwon, flicking a finger on his playful hyung's forehead, earning a low groan from the older. Changkyun laughed. 

"Then what do you want me to call you?"

"I.... don't know.." Changkyun felt a blush coming up. 

"Are you blushing, my princess?"  _My princess. I'm starting to like it._

Hyungwon whispered, "Or do you want me to call you babe, or baby, or honey. or.."

Changkyun playfully smack Hyungwon's chest. Changkyun's cheeks kissed pink like a spring rose. 

"Hyung... Don't. I'm feeling... shy."

Hyungwon snaked his arm around the shy puppy closer to his body. Inching closer to Changkyun's face.  _Is he.. going to... kiss me?_

Changkyun closed his eyes, heartbeat racing rapidly, with cute puckering lips. He inched forward closer to Hyungwon's face.

Hyungwon blew cold air against Changkyun's eye lid. The brunette flinched hard.

"Cute. Why are you closing your eyes, princess. Get in the car. You will be late."

_Hyung did not just._

His blush seared even more through his cheeks, his face feeling hot from the fire. His demurring self attempted to hide his rosy cheeks behind his slender fingers. He couldn't believe Hyungwon tricked him into thinking they're gonna kiss again. More of like he couldn't believe himself that he wants a kiss from Hyungwon badly. Desperate is the right word to describe Changkyun right now.

_My heart._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh, they're such cuties. I'm gonna write more smut for Hyunkyun. They deserved one after such hardships they had to go through. 
> 
> And what will happened to Wonho anyway? D: 
> 
> Thank you for reading! See you on the next chapter!


	25. Before the deed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to say goodbye to Hyungwon's self-restraint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is like a filler chapter! A starter before the full main course of smut :D Hope you enjoy it still! D:

**HYUNGWON's POV**

He stood before the entrance of hell where the three horsemen of apocalypse await for his arrival behind that closed door. Just in a day. He lost all three friends. All their trust in him. Kihyun and Wonho probably resented Hyungwon for what he did. As for Minhyuk...  _Forget it, I'm going in._ He stood there for way too long, getting weird looks from onlookers in the hallway.

... And there's only kihyun seated at his desk, busy writing. No one else. Too early.  _This is going to be awkward._ Hyungwon trudged to his seat, beside Kihyun's. He kept mum. Even if he decided to speak, Kihyun would probably give him the cold-shoulder. Hyungwon placed his bag on the table. He propped his head, facing away from Kihyun. 

"How long have you liked him?" 

Hyungwon could not believe his ears. Kihyun, the grudge-bearer, spoke. Hyungwon turned, looking into Kihyun's wistful eyes.

 

"When I first talked to him back when I was 12. I just can't help it..."

Kihyun nodded in acknowledgement, "I'm sorry..."

"No, I understand if you hate me because it's disgusting, isn't it? Being friends with a homo. Plus, I never liked a girl before and I'd probably never."

Kihyun shifted his chair closer to Hyungwon, startling the taller one. He placed a hand over Hyungwon's.

"No, I'm sorry for being a dick towards... the people around me. I've offended plenty of people including my own good friend."

"Ki-ah..." Hyungwon noticed Kihyun eyes were getting teary by the second.

"I couldn't sleep. Thinking about how awful they must've felt for getting mocked at just because they couldn't control who they like and I've hurt all three best friends of mine. I'm sorry... I would totally understand if you hate me."

"Wait. Minhyuk?"

"I kinda suspected Minhyuk to be the same. Apparently, he adores you a little too much since we started hanging out together... You thought the same too, right?"

"Yeah, I do."

* * *

 

Slowly, their classmates streamed in one by one. Speaking of the devil, Minhyuk came in as well. The two boys watched his every move as he slumped in his chair. The blonde turned back, peered at them with protruding lips, expecting something. He stood up abruptly, striding towards them. Minhyuk mounted himself onto Hyungwon's lap, suffocating Hyungwon with a tight embrace.

"I can't b-breathe."

"I'm sorry for everything. Please don't hate me. I'm sorry punching you. I'm sorry for being childish. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?"

"Minhyuk, you're strangling him," Kihyun warned as the colour drained from Hyungwon's face.

Minhyuk withdrew his arms. Hyungwon gasped for air, struggling.

"J-Just shut up. You talked too much."

* * *

 

Hyungwon watched his feet take steps, passing by students loitering in the hallway. He's going to take the puppy back to his home. The familiar brunette jaunted towards him with pretty smiles.

"Prin-"

Eyes widened, the brunette scurried over, placing a hand over his mouth.  _Really adorable._

"Hyung~ Don't call me princess in school" he whispered, with pinkish tinge spread across his fluffy cheeks. 

Hyungwon peeled the puppy's paws off his mouth, scooting nearer.

"Okay, princess."

"Hyung... Stop," he whined, with cheeks getting redder by the second.

 _Can't he get any cuter?_ Hyungwon ruffled his hair, earning an annoyed look from the puppy. 

* * *

Hyungwon slides the door to his spacious bedroom, furnished with furniture similar to the ones in the living room. Sleek and classy, this room suits Hyungwon wholly. 

 

Hyungwon sat on his bed, intensively eyed the puppy on the loose as he explored every end of the room. Changkyun's honey hair bobbed as he pranced from one end to another end of the room. His foxy eyes looked fixedly at the books arranged neatly on the shelves, brushing his slender finger across their spines. His diminutive mouth left agape, pretty lips forming the shape of an 'O'. Hyungwon reckoned that will look good on his lips. Hyungwon bit his lips, shaking his head. 

_What am I thinking?_

But then his eyes fell on Changkyun's dainty torso. His uniform nicely hugged his small frame, showing off his slender waist that fits perfectly in Hyungwon's hands. As though they belonged there. Changkyun hunkered down on his knees, gawking at pictures displayed on the bottom shelves. Oh, have some mercy on Hyungwon's heart. Changkyun's tasteful, perky round bottom jutted out asking to be spanked. 

Hyungwon fell sprawled on his bed. Turning on his side, tucking his arms in between his legs.  _Why now, little Hyungwonnie?_

"Hyung!"

Hyungwon was alarmed.  _Did he found out I got a hard on from staring at him?_

"W-what i-is it?" He asked without moving from his position. He's too afraid to move. Changkyun will judge him. He heard feet patting against the wooden flooring closing in.  _Please, don't tell me he found out._ He squeezed his eyes shut. 

"Hyung! Why didn't you tell me you were the hyung from the park?"

 _Eh? What did he say?_ Hyungwon looked up to the boy without removing his arms from between his legs. 

The brunette sat on the bed by Hyungwon's side, holding up a picture frame of little Hyungwon and Changkyun stuffing food into their mouths that his mother secretly took. 

"Ah-"

"Hyung... Why didn't you tell me?"

"I... forgot," he lied. He had to suppress the urge to divulge the fact he was the Hyung from the park because Changkyun couldn't remember him anyway. 

"It all makes sense now. That's why I felt safe in your arms even though I hated strangers. Because you are Park Hyung."

Hyungwon sat up, brought knees close to his chest. His prick's still erected.  _Take notice, little hyungwonnie, this is an emotional time for Changkyun and me._

"You do?"

"Yeah. You looked different though, I wasn't able to recognise you..."

"Puberty. Although you still look cute as ever, I was able to recognise you from when you first entered our school."

"I-I'm not... cute," Changkyun stammered with a hot blush on.

_That's really cute._

Hyungwon's hands reached out for the picture frame from Changkyun's clutches, safely placing it on the ground. Hyungwon shifted backwards, slumping against the bed's headboard, long legs stretched out. Changkyun watched Hyungwon's every move with curiosity, tilting his head like a confused puppy.  _So fucking cute._

It's time to say goodbye to Hyungwon's self-restraint.

  

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Kihyun also suspected that Minhyuk likes Hyungwon? Hmm, when will they ever know the truth? Or, is Minhyuk a clingy friend that everyone has. Wait to find out!
> 
> And Where did Wonho go? D:
> 
> I love love love how he annoys Changkyun by calling him Princess but Changkyun likes it. And how Hyungwon looks at Changkyun ;_; Even though it made him get a hard on. RIP HIS SELF-RESTRAINT.
> 
> Changkyun finally found out that Hyungwon was from his past ;_;


	26. During the deed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's okay, Changkyun. Take your time. I shouldn't have either. I'm really sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's all cute until.... 
> 
> I'm SORRY D:

**CHANGKYUN'S POV**

"I-I'm not... cute," he stammered with a hot blush on.

_I feel..._

Hyungwon seized the frame from Changkyun's hands, carefully placing it on the floor. He shifted backwards, leaning against the headboard. Extended his legs, toes grazing the younger's thighs.  _What is hyung doing?_ Changkyun gingerly eyed the older's movements with interest.

Hyungwon pats his lap, whispering, "come here, princess."

It was almost impossible for Changkyun to resist those alluring voice of Hyungwon's. Like a magnet, those pair of brown orbs drew him in on all fours, impetuously clambering to Hyungwon's knees. 

"Hyung," Changkyun mewled. 

He felt immeasurable excitement stirring up deep inside as he straddled Hyungwon. Changkyun's bulbous bottom nestled nicely atop of Hyungwon's slender but meaty thighs. Fingers roamed about on Hyungwon's chest, unsure where to place them. While Hyungwon's hands graciously cupped the brunette's bum, daintily kneading them.

Hyungwon inched closer to Changkyun's face, allowing the boy to have a better view.  _Handsome._ His hair was lazily tousled, black tips aimlessly pushed, intertwining into beautiful chaos. Soft-arched brows hang over the half-lidded enticing eyes that filled with lust. His lips... Luscious lips. It makes him want to feel how those lips move on his. Changkyun yearns badly for those lips to be smothering his. 

"Hyung..."

Changkyun's at his wit's end. 

Hyungwon placed gentle pecks on his neck. Hands leisurely travelling from his apple hips up to his waist, repeatedly.

"What do you want?" he whispered. 

"T-touch me, Hyung," the puppy sobbed, his pants tightening up at his crotch. Squeezed his legs together in an attempt to hide it. 

"Are you sure?" Hyungwon asked to double check, a little unsure, a little hesitant to continue.

"Y-yes." It was a faint but firm response.

Changkyun's prick painfully needs to be touched. Impatiently, he rolled his hips, against his Hyung's own hard on. A little moan escaped from the back of Hyungwon's throat. His head thrown back. His hands trembled a little, clutching onto the other boy's waist. Holding down the puppy. He moved without Hyungwon's permission. 

"Bad puppy," Hyungwon breathed.

Changkyun grunted in response, eagerly pressing his lips on the elder's opulent thick lips. Hyungwon repaid with a thousand times more eagerness Changkyun could ever ask for. Between those sultry, wet kisses, small moans and groans slipped past their mouths, resonating the whole room. Their bodies emitted warmth, heating up the air around them. It was starting to get too hot for Changkyun but he wants more. 

Changkyun tugged at the hem of Hyungwon's uniform, shyly begging the older to take it off. Hyungwon seemed to understand the signal, fumbling over the buttons, taking it off completely, tossing it aside. But his lips never left Changkyun's only leaving it a few brief moments asking Changkyun if he wanted his top to be off too. Of course, Changkyun wouldn't say no. He wanted skin-on-skin contact. He wants to melt into his Hyung's warmth too. 

"Hyung... touch me down there too," he whispered with an obvious scarlet burn across his cheeks. Changkyun swiftly hid his shy expression in the crook of Hyungwon's neck after noticing the evil smirk on the latter's face. 

"Is my princess shy?" Hyungwon teased, earning a soft whine from the puppy.

Hyungwon intertwined his fingers with Changkyun's, as the other hand kept busy with stimulating the boy's member through the pants. The eager puppy bears down his pelvis against Hyungwon's palm, grinding to satisfy his craving. 

Hyungwon unhooked Changkyun's pants, fingers stumbling for the zip. He slowly zipping down, halting for a second.

"Are you sure you want me to do this? You can tell me to stop. I won't force you."

"Please, Hyungwon hyung... touch me."

Hyungwon nodded, undoing the zip, completely. Changkyun was glad Hyungwon asked twice. That shows how much of a gentleman he is, unlike someone else.  _No, now not the time to think about Wonho Hyung._ He shook off that thought, concentrating on the man before him. _Hyungwon hyung._  

"Hyung... I want to... you too," fingers digging the other boy's crotch. 

Hyungwon shut his eyes, bit his lips. He's feeling it. Undoing his own zip too. Both felt a less layer closer, rubbing one another, creating friction they both intensely desired for. Lips on lips. Skin on skin. They're closer than before.  

A sudden vibration shaking them both back to reality but the puppy had no intentions to pause, his hands still busy kneading. Noticing that, Hyungwon slipped his hand into Changkyun's pocket, taking his phone out. 

Changkyun noticed Hyungwon's mood took the sudden nose dive. His actions halted. He grabbed his phone from Hyungwon's clutches. 

**_Wonto Hyunggie <3 Calling... _ **

"Oh."

"You can pick it up, if you want," averting his gaze away from Changkyun. Obviously turned off (but his erected member telling otherwise.)

"I don't wanna," setting his phone on to "Do Not Disturb" mood, tossing it to the other end of the bed. Embraced Hyungwon with all his might. He's being a bad dongsaeng, he knows it. But he's not ready to speak to Wonho even though he said he understood him. He's just not ready. 

Hyungwon was taken aback by his actions, returning the warm hug.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm yours now, hyung. Do whatever you want to me," he was adamant about it, nothing can change his mind. 

With that, Hyungwon tossed him over. Changkyun lay on his back against the soft sheets. Hyungwon hovered over. Arms on either side of his head. Changkyun's breathing heightened, sweating buckets. Changkyun suddenly felt a wave of panic begin like a cluster of spark plugs in his abdomen. His body tensed underneath Hyungwon. Breathing became more rapid and more shallow. This position. Reminds him of Wonho. Trying to rape him.  _Wait. Hyung._ Hyungwon failed to notice the tense boy underneath him, diving in for a kiss. 

Changkyun raised his hands to Hyungwon's chest, "Hyung, wait. I'm scared."

Hyungwon immediately pulled away from Changkyun. A mixture of confused and horrified expression plastered on his face. 

"I-I'm sorry," he muttered, moving far away from Changkyun, to the edge of the bed. 

Changkyun sat up, pulling his knees close to his chest, started sobbing.

"I'm... Sorry... Hyung. I-I remembered what... did... still scared," Changkyun stumbled on his words. 

Hyungwon crawled forward, hesitating to touch Changkyun. But he did anyway. He embraced the broken boy in his arms. 

"It's okay, Changkyun. Take your time. I shouldn't have either. I'm really sorry."

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, Wonho. Look at what you've done. If it weren't for your rash actions, hyungwon and Changkyun would have been able to get down to business D:
> 
> Jk, he prolly had the reason for doing that.
> 
> P/S: I promise there will be a real smut scene between these two!


	27. disappointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He has no one else. He lost everyone and it was his own fault. He was greedy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi D:
> 
> A warning! this chapter is a little "meh" (very boring)! D: a continuation from the previous chapter! 
> 
> Sorry in advance!

**WONHO's POV**

He opened his eyes to a dimly lit room, thick drapes shield the bright daylight from penetrating into his room. Lucky for him, his eyes wouldn't be able to handle it. Wonho sat up from his bed sluggishly. The excruciating headache and dehydrated mouth were too prominent to ignore. He brought fingers up to his cranium, massaging it in hopes that it will ease off.

Wonho swung his feet off his bed, knocking over empty bottles and cans all over on the floor. He figured he must have drunk heavily last night again. His eyes fell on a black bag by his bedside table.  _Changkyun..._

Like a great rush of water, memories of last night came back to him. Changkyun's small frame struggling underneath him. Pushing and pulling. He had violated Changkyun. His filthy hands defiled Changkyun's pure soul. 

Waves of regrets and guilt washed over him. He yearned to turn back time. But it's impossible. It was too late. There's no way back. No way to make it right. 

"Wonho, I'm bac- Have you been drinking?"

"Mother," he stood up too quickly, head pounding.

How rare, his mother finally came back after weeks. 

"Such a disappointment, " and she said that.

Turning her back, she left him on his own, speechless. Wonho sank back to the bed, wrapped himself in the duvet, waves of nausea adding to his misery. He shuts his heavy eyelids, plunging back into darkness, hot tears wet his cheeks.

His life is in tatters. A mess. He has no one else. Not his parents. Not Mr and Mrs Lim. Not even Changkyun. He lost everyone and it was his own fault. He was greedy. 

* * *

  **HYUNGWON's POV**

The lingering light of the evening was replaced by the rapidly falling night, taking its place as darkness surrounds Hyungwon's room. Muffled jabber of voices was fairly loud but all he heard was the soft snores of the boy settled in his arms.

The little puppy's tremors gradually halted as he drifted off to sleep. Hyungwon carefully lay Changkyun on his back, making sure he stays deep in slumber. He pulled the covers over the boy's nude frame, placing a gentle peck on his knitted brows.  _He's frowning in his sleep again._

"Hyungwon-ah. Dinner."

The low rumble of the familiar voice scared the wits out of Hyungwon. He turned to face his brother at the door. Even with dimly lit room, Hyungwon noticed his Hyunwoo hyung's turning red by the second. His widened eyes examined the younger one. Half naked and unfastened pants.

"Y-yeah, I will be right down," he squeaked.

"S-sure. Wear something before coming down," he whispered, turning on his heels. 

Although Hyungwon isn't embarrassed about his sexuality, being seen in this state by his brother could be mortifying. 

Hyungwon took huge strides to his closet, grabbing a fresh t-shirt off the hangers, wearing it on the way out. Not forgetting to light the room lest his baby hates waking up in darkness. 

* * *

"Ah, finally you're down. Where's Changkyunnie?"

"He fell asleep..." 

Hyungwon's eyes automatically shot at Hyunwoo who tried his best at hiding his shy smiles. 

"Hyungwon-ah, how's your day at school?"

"It's fine, appa," he replied as he quietly sat on the dining table.

Funny how the word **_Appa_ ** rolls off Hyungwon's tongue. It used to take him ages to adjust to the fact he finally has a complete family. Previously, it was only Hyungwon and mama Chae until she found someone else. Someone who is filthy rich enough to feed another extra 2 mouths. They got married after knowing each other for awhile. As a bonus, Hyungwon earned himself an awkward bear as an older brother. 

Of course, just like any other adolescent, Hyungwon was unwelcoming, refusing to adapt to any changes in life. However, Hyunwoo and his father were patient enough to wait for the kid to open up. They did everything and anything to earn his trust. At long last, Hyungwon caved in. 

He felt blessed. Blessed that each every of them accepted for who he is. They were even unfazed by the fact he came out as someone who is abnormal. No one judged him. Not even his mother. 

"Hyungwonnie, is Changkyun staying over tonight?"

It's not obvious but his mother is definitely smiling.  _Sneaky._

"If his parents allow, I would ask him to stay over."

"Great! I'll set aside food for him."

Hyungwon nodded,  _she's weird._

"I'm done. I'll go up and wake him up."

"Let me know if he needs anything!"

* * *

"Changkyunnie, you're awake?"

"I just woke up..."

Hyungwon noticed his tear-stricken face. He sat adjacent to the sobbing boy.

"Why are you crying again, princess?"

"I-I feel shitty. Hyung, can I stay with you tonight?" 

"Sure, you can have my room. I'll sleep in the li-"

"N-no. I need someone by my side."

 _Oh. This is really bad for my heart._ He agreed but he was afraid that he might trigger the younger's memory of that unfortunate night with Wonho again.

Hyungwon took the phone from the younger. Unlocked the phone to a no end of notifications from his parents. Even Wonho. Naturally, he ignored the notifications from the latter, calling Changkyun's mother immediately.

Hyungwon popped back in the room, seeing the puppy eagerly waiting for him. 

"What did eomma say?"

"She said it's fine... She just wondered why you didn't inform her beforehand." 

"Oh..." the puppy slumped futher into the bed. Hyungwon figured Changkyun felt bad. 

"It's fine, princess. She understands," Hyungwon caressed those fluffy cheeks, wiping the stained, dried tears. The puppy leant into his touch, fingers danced across Hyungwon's forearm.

"...you have some messages from Wonho. I accidentally saw a few. He said he has to meet you."

Those fingers halted. The brunette turned away from the older. Back facing him.  _I shouldn't have, right?_

"I don't wanna," he whined.

"Are you sure you don't wanna hear what he says, at least?"

"I don't. Talk to him if you want to but there's no way I'm going to speak to him." 

Hyungwon heaved a long sigh. His fingers lightly grazed the nude back facing him. Changkyun flinched.  _He's sulking again._

"i'm gonna take a shower. There's food downstairs for you if you want to."

"Hmph," he huffed. 

 _Cute._ Hyungwon closed the door behind him, fumbling for his phone from his pants' pockets. He needs to speak to Wonho. He can't let this drag on anymore. It will take a huge toll on Changkyun's mental health. Hyungwon couldn't bear to see that happening. 

"Wonho. I need to speak to you. Let's meet." 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you it will be boring! D: 
> 
> /Whispers if you realised, Changkyunnie is starting to depend on Hyungwon more than Wonho. This is bad. Because it will be history repeating itself./
> 
> Except that Hyungwon isn't afraid of loving Changkyun. So he will be fine in Hyungwon's hands.


	28. Sleep tight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Sleep tight, princess."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the really really late update! 
> 
> These few weeks, I wasn't feeling fine. And I had a major "writer's" block. 
> 
> I really hope there are still people waiting for this fic to be updated T_T

**HYUNGWON'S POV**

Hyungwon underestimated the cold tonight. Even though it's close to summer, the air swirling around him took every bit of heat left underneath his skin. Hyungwon wrapped his arms tighter around himself, tucking his chin downward into his pullover. He sighed. Taking a shower before leaving the house was a bad idea. He regretted. 

Hyungwon rode through the dark night, with only sporadic street lamps illuminating his way. The wheels of his bicycle turned over the asphalt as cool air bit his skin, sending chills down his back. Pieces of still damp hair clung to his forehead like ivy. Really regretting. 

Only a few minutes have passed. Only few minutes, his body screamed in exhaustion. Hyungwon has the strong urge to turn back and snuggle up against his princess's back for warmth. But he has to meet Wonho. He has to end this.

* * *

**CHANGKYUN'S POV**

The small body tossed and turned but he just couldn't get back to sleep. Sure, Hyungwon's bed was certainly comfortable but his eyelids wouldn't shut. Changkyun watched the minimalistic clock morphed from nine to eleven. Thousands of seconds later, he lay still.

His mind drifted off to earlier. Skin on skin, they shared warmth sensually. Hyungwon was really gentle on him, Changkyun still could feel the lanky dude's soft touches dancing across his skin. He wanted more. He needed Hyungwon's hands all over him. But Wonho. That memory of Wonho just had to emerge, causing his anxiety to act up. 

Changkyun bit his lips, what if it was just a spur of moment kind of thing? What if Hyung doesn't actually feel that way about me? Just like Wonho-hyung.

No no no no no.  

Changkyun roused from the comfortable sheets, shaking his head. Rolling out of the bed, the ball of his feet softly tapped across the room. He started to wonder where Hyungwon went.  Changkyun sighed. Bending over, he puts on his crumpled uniform. 

Dim and dead quiet. Changkyun felt like an intruder, nervously tiptoeing his way out of Hyungwon's room. Everyone's asleep? 

His honey bangs bobbed as he cautiously trotted down the stairs. He wished Hyungwon's here, right beside him.

"Changkyun?"

Changkyun felt a hand on his shoulder, scaring the wits out of him. He bit his tongue, almost screaming. 

"Sorry... Hungry?"

Changkyun's disobedient tummy growled in agreement. The embarrassed out the two nodded, averting his gaze away. Hyunwoo snorted, dragging the younger one into the kitchen. 

"Sit."

The smaller complied, watching the broad back muscles flexed and relaxed as Hyunwoo moves. He's like a father.

"Hyung? Where is Hyungwon-hyung?"

"Mmm, last I checked he took a shower and left the house. He didn't tell you?"

Changkyun shook his head dejectedly. Hyung left without telling me? Could it be he's angry at me for this evening? 

"Don't worry. He will back soon," assured Hyunwoo, after noticing that sombre look on Changkyun. 

Of course, that didn't work on Changkyun.  

* * *

**HYUNGWON'S POV**

"Speak," Hyungwon commanded sternly.  
  
Breeze howling past their ears as they settled down on the swings. Their usual hangout; a place where grown out kids like them don't belong. 

"I-I... Hyungwon, I... Really love Changkyun. I swear." 

Hyungwon eyed Wonho's fidgety fingers, digging the non-existent dirt underneath his nails.   
  
"I didn't mean to... do that to him. I-I was drunk at that point of time. I really didn't mean it."

Hyungwon shot a look at the nervous wrecked boy with disdain.

He huffed in disbelief, "you got to be fucking kidding me right?" Pausing a sec, taking a deep breath. 

"You almost raped him, Wonho-ya. Didn't mean it? Fucking lies. That was a dick move, Wonho. There are fucking ways to show your love. Why wou- Ugh!"

He's frustrated. Furious. _Fucking dumb._

"He's traumatised, you know? Plus, he cries for you 24/7 Getting anxious when you aren't around. Blaming himself for things he can't control. And it's all because of you."

"... I know."

"You're toxic, Wonho. Just stop hurting him. Leave him alone."

"I can't. I love him a lot."

Hyungwon stood up from the swing. Chains rattled, disturbing the dead silence of the night. Pulling Wonho to eye level, Hyungwon glared right into those unforgivable eyes. 

"Selfish bastard. Didn't I just said, leave him alone?"

"I need to speak to him. I need to hear what he thinks. Hyungwon please..."

Hyungwon looked away, defeated.  _Stubborn fuck._

Hyungwon gave up. 

* * *

Dead quiet. Hyungwon checked the time on his phone.  _12:04, no wonder._ He carefully pushed the door open. It was brighter in there compared to the living room below but the soft snores sent word to Hyungwon that his baby's asleep. 

On his tippy toes, Hyungwon cautiously approached the sleeping boy. He noticed Changkyun in fresh new attire with the duvet intertwined around his legs.

Hyungwon took off his pullover, leaving his torso covered with only a white inner shirt. With nifty hands, he managed to pull the duvet out without waking up the brunette. He covered them with the blanket as he lay down, by his baby's back.

As much as he tried not to, he couldn't resist placing an arm around the thin waist, pulling the puppy flushed to his own body. 

_Ah, warmth._

Again, unable to resist the urge, he placed a soft kiss on the crown of Changkyun's head, whispering, "sleep tight, princess."

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it was short! I was planning to end this soon but it would be too abrupt! So, It's still kinda slowly building to the end. 
> 
> I'm sorry again for the late update. Thank you for reading still! D: 
> 
> See you!


	29. Stay there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Stay there. I'm coming over."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO EVERYONE.
> 
> I am sorry for disappearing for quite a while ;_;   
> I've been sick. Again. But since i'm recovering well, I felt like I should update! 
> 
> WARNING: triggering scene ahead, continue reading if you are okay with it ;_;

**CHANGKYUN'S POV**

Changkyun's little frame quivered as he roused from a deep slumber. Even with the thick duvet and long toasty limbs draped over his small body, he could not ignore the sudden drop in temperature. The soundly asleep modelesque lad lies adjacent to him, snoring softly. Plain white tee, chaotic bed-hair. Hyungwon still looks beautiful to Changkyun. 

Itchy fingers reached out to the Hyungwon's luscious lips. Lightly tugged at, softly flicked at. The handsome lad remained unstirred. The childlike boy shifted his pointer finger closer to the fluffy cheeks, poking them. Giggling, satisfied with the small annoyed grunts from the back of Hyungwon's throat.

_Just like Wonho-hyung...._

_Wonho-hyung._

Changkyun unwillingly watched his mind played the little scenes of him waking up next to Wonho. He sniggered. He found it funny how he used to not be able to live without being by Wonho's side. But currently, he's comfortable snuggling up against his Hyungwon-hyung. 

Changkyun's heartbeat echoed in his ear as he inched a closer to Hyungwon, his eyes falling onto the perfect-shaped lips.   

"Hyung? Would you hate me if I told you I like you?" He softly whispered.

Hyungwon remained unfazed, gently snoring. 

"Please don't hate me... B-because I think I do."

He moved closer. 

_Beautiful._

Closer and closer, planting his soft lips against Hyungwon's. The ends of his lips curled into a small smile.  _I really like you, Hyung._

* * *

Taking small steps at a time, Changkyun went down the metallic stairs. Hugging his bag closely to his chest. He felt bad for staying over without permission from Hyungwon's parents. 

"Oh, Changkyunnie?"

"M-Mrs. Cha-e."

"Mrs Son."

Like a puppy, Changkyun tilted his head in confusion.  _Son? Not Chae? I still don't know anything about hyung, huh?_

"Do you want some breakfast?"

"I-I..."

* * *

**HYUNGWON'S POV**

Empty. Hyungwon awoke to soft sheets on an empty bed. Changkyun's not by his side. Not anywhere in the room. Hyungwon's eyes searched the room frantically. _Where did he go?_

"Shit fuck," he cursed.

Hyungwon flew down the stairs, noticing his father and his brother devouring on the morning feast laid on the table. No sign of his princess. 

"Eomma," he cried out as he barged into the kitchen. 

"What's wrong? Looking for something?"

"Where's my prin- I'm mean, where's Changkyunnie?"

She smirked, strutting past her son with a jug of orange juice in her hands for the hungry ones. 

"Come, sit and eat. Have you brushed your teeth?"

"Eomma, did you hear what I asked? Changkyun's gone."

"Ran off."

"Huh?"

"Sit."

"No, where did he go?"

"I said sit," she said firmly.

Hyungwon obediently abided. He carefully sat by his brother's side. In this house, the ladyship's words are law. 

"Changkyunnie left because he was worried he would impose on us further. I couldn't stop him because he looked like he was about to cry. "

_Cry...?_

"I... am going out." 

"No, you shall sit here and eat like a good boy."

He nodded in defeat. Staying quiet seems like a better choice.

* * *

**CHANGKYUN'S POV**

"Changkyun?"

Both of the Ims looked at the boy with dishevelled appearance as he walked in through the front door. Messy hair, swollen eyes. 

"Appa, eomma," he softly greeted as his eyes met his father's.

"Come here."

Changkyun hesitated, taking tiny steps to his parents seated at the dining table. His slender fingers pressed into the skin of his forearms, nails gnawing on the dried scabs of his slashed wounds. Heart pounding so hard against his chest.

_I'm going to get scolded, am I?_

 

"What's wrong, my son? You don't look fine."

Changkyun averted his gaze to the ground. Warm, large hands grabbed both of wrist, pulling him forward.

"And... this. You can tell me what's wrong, Changkyun-ah. Don't keep quiet," Mr Lim begged. His stern voice filled with so much concern.

Of course, Changkyun took it the wrong way. Lips trembling, his tears threatened to fall. He's scared. So scared. But he has two choices. The first choice was to run away. The second choice was to tell his father everything from the top to the bottom. 

He chose the latter.

"I am not normal," he whispered. 

He looked up, eyeing his parents with teary eyes. They looked perplexed but kept quiet.

"I... am not like the other kids. I... have a problem deep inside me and I can't fix it. But I found someone who is able to accept me for who I am."

"What problem... Changkyun?"

"I think... I like boys, appa."

He dropped the bomb. He felt the tight grip on his tiny wrists loosen. Consecutively, his mother covered her mouth. He laid his eyes on his father. Disappointed. He shouldn't have. Shouldn't have. 

"Appa? Eomma?"

"... I need to speak to your mother. Please go to your room now."

Bitter. Harsh. He felt his little heart broke. 

Changkyun took steps back, bolting away in embarrassment. He shouldn't have said a word. He squeezed his eyes shut to stop the tears from falling but all he could see was his father's judgemental eyes full of disgust. 

He paused halfway up the stairs. 

"He turned out that way because of the kid next door right? Or was it the boy he stayed out with last night?" 

It was faint, but he heard word for word.

"Why are you blaming those kids when they helped our child with social problems? You do know that, don't you? That it was hard? He never had any friends. Shouldn't you feel happy for him?"

"But he's turning weird, Jang Mi-ya."

"But he's OUR son. Shouldn't you accept him for who is?"

"I can't deal with any of this. I'm going work. Don't let me catch him talking to the boy next door," he paused.

"Or any of his  _guy_ friends, for that matter."

* * *

 

Changkyun lay motionlessly on his bed, staring at the clock on the wall, morphing from 10 to 11 to 12 to 1. His thoughts were accelerating inside his head. He wants them to stop but they won't. He felt numb. He couldn't cry anymore. 

It was meaningless to go on. 

Changkyun sat up on his bed. The pain came crushing on one side of his head. Pulsated on and on, making him feel uncomfortable. He stood up, ignoring the pain. Shuffled his two tiny feet to his study table. 

There. The rusty penknife, beautifully laid atop of the table, screaming to be picked up. 

_Oh, it will look more beautiful if it was dancing and gliding on my skin._

He reached out for it. His fingertips touching the cold hard metal, sending chills down to his spine. He liked it. The ends of his lips curled up slowly. 

_Maybe I should just go._

He snatched it off the table, sliding into his chair. 

_I should just go._

He slides the penknife, revealing its inner beauty with blotches of rusts covering the metal. 

_Should just go._

With the blade on his left, he pulled the sleeve up on the right. 

_Just go._

He placed the blade on his skin.

_Go._

He counted from three.

Two.

One.

It glided on his scarred skin so smoothly. Blood started oozing out. Staining the white pullover he borrowed from Hyungwon. But it's not enough.  _Not enough._

Another one. And another one. Still not enough. Not enough to kill him. He pressed the blade further into his skin. 

_This is it._

But he stopped. The phone in his pocket vibrated. It pulled him out from the trance. He realised he was bleeding too much. He pulled the sleeves down. Pressed on it, attempting to stop the flow. The white pullover is ruined, turning ugly from the patches of scarlet red forming on the sleeve. 

"Hello?" He picked up, voice trembling. 

"I'm glad you finally picked up. It's me, Wonho-hyung."

"Hyung?" 

"Yes?"

"I think I'm gonna die."

Changkyun heard clatters of footfalls. 

"What? Where are you now?"

"Home... It's not stopping, hyung. What do I do..."

"Stay there. I'm coming over."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry to the lovely people who waited. And thank you so much for waiting D: I hope this chapter satisfies you! 
> 
> /Whispers/ I feel bad for doing this to Changkyun. Poor baby. And his dad............. isn't understanding. Oh, and he picked up Wonho's call. What's gonna happen?!?!?! D:
> 
> See you in the next one!


	30. Endearing End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!!! 
> 
> This chapter is so nfijanfsdfoia sighh.
> 
> (whispers this is a repost because i was having problems with the post previously posted!)
> 
> Enjoy!

**WONHO'S POV**

_Please, pick up. Don't do this to me, Changkyun._

Wonho couldn't remember how many times he tried calling Changkyun. Since the night before, the other boy wouldn't just pick up. He was starting to give up but every inch of his heart told him not to. Wonho looked up the ceiling as he lay on his bed, still tucked under the blanket. After that intense conversation with Hyungwon, he figured he should clear the air between them. He has to. He has to let Changkyun know that his feelings for him were undoubtedly true. 

**_Click_ **

"Hello?" 

 _Finally._ But Changkyun sounded odd. His brows knitted in the middle.

"I'm glad you finally picked up. It's me, Wonho-hyung." 

"Hyung?" 

"Yes?" 

The receiving end went dead quiet. Wonho held the phone tightly in his clutch, placing it closer to his ears as he nervously sat on pins and needles. He sat up, swinging his legs off the bed. The ominous silence was telling him that something must have happened. 

"I think I'm gonna die." 

Wonho stood up, pacing back and forth, hoping his ears weren't playing a sick joke on him. His heart was in his mouth but he had to remain calm for his baby's sake. 

Keeping his cool, he asked, "what? Where are you now?"

"Home. It's not stopping, hyung.... What do I do?" 

Changkyun's voice trembled. Almost seems like he was in pain. The fear thoughts looped around in Wonho's mind. He couldn't think of anything else but his baby being in immense discomfort.  _No, no please, no._ He knows exactly what Changkyun did. He knows. 

"Stay there. I'm coming over. Stay with me, alright?"

And the line went dead. 

Wonho was all over the place, panicking. His eyes lay upon on the first aid kit, hanging by the door. Biting his lower lip, he snatched it off the wall, chucking it into his knapsack. Just in case. Fingers crossed, he would not have to use it on Changkyun. 

And he was set to go. 

* * *

Wonho looked to his right as he stepped on the front porch of the Im's, their family car wasn't in the driveway. He felt the twinge in his chest, Changkyun's probably suffering all alone. No one's there for him. No one.

He rang the bell. Not a single soul answered. He rang again. And again. His stomach shifted uneasily. 

_Please, open the door, baby, please._

Naturally, no one answered. He tried the handle, it rattled. Then something clicked in his mind.  _Key._ He knew where the Ims placed their spare key. One time he had noticed Changkyun whipping out a spare key from underneath the potted plant. Wonho ducked, lifting the potted plant swiftly.  _Fuck yes._ As cliche as it was, it was there, lying underneath the pot. Snatching off the ground, he unlocked the door. 

Fear was what he felt as he stepped into the house. Not because he was an intruder that practically invaded the Ims property without permission but because of Changkyun. What if, behind that door, lies an unconscious Changkyun? What if Changkyun had actually stopped breathing? He shook the damned thoughts away, turning the door knob. He barged in. 

He heaved a sigh of relief.  

Changkyun's sat motionlessly on the floor, leaning against his bed. Eyes blinking tears away, he smiled softly. 

"Hyung, you're here," Changkyun whispered faintly.

"Changkyun-ah..."

Wonho caught a glimpse of the scarlet liquid seeping out from his puppy's gaping wounds, staining the white pullover. He squeezed shut his eyes, unable to look at it further. Unable to swallow the fact Changkyun had harmed himself again. Tears leaked from his eyelids, streaming down. He felt a dull ache in his chest.  _It hurts._

"Hyung... Don't cry. Look at me, I'm fine. I'm fine, hyung."

 _Obviously, you're not fine._ He opened his eyes, looked at the helpless boy on the ground smiling. He exhaled. 

"We're... Gonna get you clean up, alright?"

Wonho kneeled by the boy, pulling him into his lap. The back of his puppy emitted warmth, soothing him, constantly assuring that Changkyun's safe in his arms now. He let his fingertips roamed across the cavernous wounds, making the smaller winced in pain. Wonho whispered a soft apology in Changkyun's ear as he carefully attends to the bloody gashes on the right forearm. Ripping sterile gauzes from its packaging, winding rolls of bandages carefully around the fragile wrist. 

"Hyung," the younger whined, writhing in discomfort. 

"Shh, you will be fine, kyunnie."

His lips brushed against Changkyun's exposed shoulder, hoping it would alleviate some pain away. Wonho swung the smaller boy up in his strong arms as if he weighed nothing. Staggered to the bed, laying Changkyun on his back carefully. 

"You're precious to me, Changkyun- ah. Don't do that anymore," he whispered before kissing the crown of his head. 

"... My parents don't love me for who I am."

Wonho froze. He backed up, searching for answers in Changkyun's bloodshot eyes.

"I told them... I told them I was having a problem. A problem that I was unable to fix. And that I found someone who could be there for me even though I'm not mendable."

The older had a bad feeling. He anxiously sat on the bed by his side, all ears. 

"Hyung... I had no friends before this but you approached me with good intentions, I really appreciate it. I didn't understand the real meaning of friendships but I gave you my every first because I treasured you a lot. I even became obsessive of you, hyung. Because I loved you so much. So much that it..."

"Kyun, stop talking."

"So much that it hurts. It hurts, hyung. It hurts when you're not around. I hated it. I hated it when you're not around me. My feelings for you were suffocating me. It was hard to breathe."

 _Stop talking, Changkyun._ Wonho threaded his fingers with Changkyun's, quietly begging Changkyun to cease the talking. 

"Then I found Hyungwon Hyung."

_Stop, Changkyun. Please. Don't speak anymore._

"I don't know but he makes me feel better about myself, hyung. I really like him a lot, Hyung." 

Wonho knew it. His intuition was right. It's Hyungwon, all right. He had already lost the battle from the start. He lost his friend, he lost his one and only dear one who understands him from inside out. He basically lost everyone. All due to his selfishness. 

Wonho's tears threatened to fall. He bit his tongue, keeping it all in. 

"I told them that I like boys, but Appa seems to hate it. He was disgusted. I couldn't forget the look on his face, hyung," he paused. Changkyun sat up on the bed, leaning against Wonho's shoulder. "Am I disgusting, hyung?" 

_I made you this way. It was my fault, kyun-ah. I'm disgusting._

"You're not disgusting. At all."

"Really? Thank you. I'm really thankful for you coming into my life."

Changkyun's hands snaked around Wonho's waist, curling up against his body. Wonho hugged back, tightly. His chest felt heavy, mixed with all kinds of feelings. He felt relieved but dejected but also upset. Wonho desperately wanted to leave this place but he knew he has to stay for Changkyun. Changkyun needed someone by his side. 

"Changkyunnie?"

The smaller boy in his embrace lets out a small, subtle grunt. 

"What am I to you then?"

"A friend?"

Wonho laughed heartily. Not because he was happy. He was blatantly rejected right then and there. There wasn't even a slight hesitation in Changkyun's voice. He embraced the boy tighter. He couldn't let Changkyun see the tears escaping his eyes.  _It really hurts._

"You're still dense as ever, Changkyun," he whispered. 

"What?"

"Nothing, my puppy. You will still be my puppy forever and ever, right?"

"Yes?" Changkyun answered in a hushed tone with a slight dubiety.

Wonho pulled him tighter against his chest. It would probably be the last time. No... That was definitely the last time he was ever going to embrace Changkyun like that.

It was his own fault anyway. He never properly told Changkyun his true feelings anyway. It didn't matter anymore, anyway.

"Changkyun? If Hyungwon ever hurt you, I'm always here. Run back to me, I'll be here. Promise me?"

"I promise, hyung," he chuckled innocently. 

Ironic, coming from someone who did actually hurt him more than Hyungwon will ever. He snorted.

* * *

  **CHANGKYUN'S POV**

"Changkyun!"

He whirled his head around to the person calling his name out. Jooheon came to view, bolting towards him. Gunhee slowly trailed behind, taking his own sweet time.

"Jooheon," Changkyun acknowledged with a small smile. The other boy showed off his pearly whites, dimples caving in.

"How was your weekend? I did so many things! I wanted to call you out but I figured you would be busy. So, I didn't but I went out and I..."

Jooheon's eyes flicked to the ivory bandage wrapped around his wrist. On instinct, he hid his hand behind his back. Changkyun averted his gaze.  _Oh fuck._

"Changkyunnie, your wrist."

"I-I... It's nothing, Jooheon."

The taller squinted his eyes, mouthing the word ' _Bullshit'._

Changkyun saw that. His eyes widened, mouth left agape.  _Jooheony's angry._

"I-"

"Wow, Jooheon you left your friend after seeing your crush... Wait, what's with the gloomy faces?"

"Nothing, let's go in," he huffed with frustration, turned on his heel, leaving the other two speechless.

"What's up with him?" Gunhee turned to Changkyun before running after his friend. 

_I'm sorry, Jooheon. It's better this way, isn't it? I'll tell you when I feel fine... I'm sorry._

* * *

**HYUNGWON'S POV**

 

 **My princess:** Hyung  
 **My princess:** I need a hug.  
 **My princess:** Please be here.   
 **My princess:** Please come here.

Hyungwon held his phone closer to his chest, trying to contain his smiles. Changkyun finally contacted him. His princess had ignored him from the day he left his house until today. His calls left unanswered. His KKT messages left unreplied. Hyungwon had tried so many ways. Even risked going to his house countless times in a day, only to be chased away by Mr Im at every try. It was a rough weekend, barely sleeping, barely eating. He was really worried.

Hyungwon left his desk the moment the bell rang indicating lunchtime, only to be halted by a shorter male.  _Wonho._

"What do you want from me? I have to go."

"Wait, Hyungwon, I need to speak to you."

Hyungwon turned away.

"I spoke to Changkyun on Saturday."

He turned back, swiftly pushing Wonho against a table. All eyes are on them now. 

"I told you, didn't I. Stop bothering him."

"You won."

"What?"

"I said you won. I lost. Changkyun's yours now."

He slowly let go of Wonho's collar. Glaring at Wonho with a mixture of anger and confusion.  _I won?_ Their classmates started to disperse, running for the cafeteria. Leaving them in an awkward, unnerving silence.

"The fuck you mean?" Hyungwon broke the silence. 

He told him. Wonho told Hyungwon everything. From the problems Changkyun currently faced with his parents, all the way to Changkyun's confession. Hyungwon stood there, listened to word for word. His heart broke. 

"Please treasure him well. I still love him, Hyungwon. Will always do. I even told him to run back to me if you ever hurt him. He promised me. So, you better not hurt him. I don't intend on letting go of him when I get him back."

"Wonho..."

"I am fine. Really. I deserved it. I shouldn't have done that to him. I should have confessed earlier. I know. I'm coward."

No, Wonho's not fine at all. Hyungwon watched the shorter wiped his tears with the back of his hand, sniffing.

"You... May be a bigger guy than I am but you sure have a lot of tears to shed." 

"Fuck you. Stop poking fun at me. Ha, funny how high school kids like us have a lot of problems already."

"We asked for it."

"Yeah, and you better check on Changkyun. He's waiting, right? Lucky bastard."

"Shut up. I'm going."

Hyungwon turned on his heels, leaving the sobbing boy on his own. He paused. 

"Don't worry, Wonho-ya. Someone will love your cry baby ass. I'm going to find my lover now. Bye!"

"Fuck off asshole!"

"Love you too, crybaby!"

They were laughing again. It puts a smile on Hyungwon's face. Sure, nothing can ever break their friendship. He's glad that they're back to normal. 

Hyungwon bolted through the hallways, getting screamed at by nosy teachers. But he didn't care at all. It felt great, running to see his lover. 

* * *

"I hope you haven't given up on me yet."

He walked through the aisle of study tables. There, his princess sits on one of them, his shoulders slouched, lips slightly pouting, eyes sad as ever. 

"Hyung..."

Hyungwon sat adjacent to the other boy, pulling him into a soft embrace. Stroked the back of his head.

"Bad princess."

"Wh-what?"

"You ignored me over the weekends."

"Sorry..."

"Not only that, you harmed yourself. And you didn't even tell me. I had to hear everything from Wonho."

"I'm really sorry, hyung."

Hyungwon tileted Changkyun's chin with his pointer finger, gently kissing the other boy.

"What did I tell you? Stop apologising or I will kiss you."

"Sorry..."

"Are you asking for it?" Hyungwon placed both of his hands on his fluffy cheeks, planting bountiful smacks on his lips. 

Changkyun's cheeks felt scorching hot under his hands, turning redder by the second. 

"H-Hyung? Stop, other people might see."

"Be my boyfriend then."

"Wait!!! W-what, hyung?!"

"Be. My. Boyfriend," a playful smirk plastered on Hyungwon's face, yanked Changkyun into another hug, hiding his own bashful expression.

"I-I. Hyung, My parents... Your parents... I-I mean that's not the point here! People are going to see us, Hyung! I-I," Changkyun fidgeted endlessly in his arms. 

It was nice seeing Changkyun flustered. 

"You don't have to worry about the people, Changkyun. Let them see. My parents? They know about my feelings for you since way back. Y-"

"T-they what?! Way back?! What do you mean? But... But my parents, hyung. They would never accept it."

"Let's not tell them, for now. It seems silly for high school kids like us, but we can overcome it together, Changkyun. I swear I will protect you."

"I-I... Okay..."

Hyungwon's ears perked up. He peeled Changkyun away from him, unable to hide the excitement. 

"Is that a yes?!"

Changkyun hid behind his skinny arms, attempting to cover up his embarrassment, softly whispered, "it's a yes, Hyung."

Hyungwon pried Changkyun's stubborn arms off his face.  _So cute._ Changkyun's cheeks were kissed pink like a spring rose, the soft pink was adorable against his fluffy cheeks. It was really endearing. The sullen Changkyun has been replaced. He's gone now. 

Hyungwon leaned in closer to Changkyun, resting his forehead on his. The younger slowly lets his eyelids drooped, moving in closer. Hyungwon copied his actions. 

"I like you, Changkyun," he said in barely more than a whisper.

" I like you too a lot, Hyung." 

Hyungwon tilted his head, pushing his lips against the other in the most tender way possible.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's sort of the end. Sorry if i ended it abruptly. It was getting too long D:   
> But it won't end, not really! because there will be special chapter(s) ;-) 
> 
> (whispers, Let me know down in the comments below about what you think about this fic overall!)
> 
> I wanna thank to those who stayed on till the end of this fic. It may be a little boring at some point but I'm glad y'all still read it. I really appreciated it. And the comments and the kudos. All of it gave me the motivation to continue. I feel, without them, I wouldn't have continued this fic at all. Without them, this would be my first and last fic. But if there's anyone who likes my writing, I would be writing more :'-) 
> 
> I am sorry if this fic doesn't go the way you wanted it to be! yes, the end couple is Hyungkyun. (But let's not forget that Wonkyun is actually my main!) 
> 
> I really love the way I portrayed Hyungwon here. Yes, he had the least character development but eVERYONE NEEDS A HYUNGWON IN THEIR LIFE. I wanna thank Hyungwon for sticking to Changkyun since young. He was so patient, loving towards Changkyun.


	31. Special Chapter: it's time to graduate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLLLLLOOOOO!!!! 
> 
> Here's come the special chapter!! woot woot. Whispers, are there anyone waiting for this chapter? heheh, sigh, i guess not ;_;
> 
> I know i went MIA for quite a long time. That's because school has kept me busy for months. I can even barely have time to breathe ;_;
> 
> But here's a long special chapter. It's a filler chapter that prepares for the important special chapter that i have in mind next!
> 
> without further ado!!!!!!! enjoy!!!!
> 
> Whispers pardon the grammar mistakes. There are a lot, i know.

He felt painfully out of place. Like he doesn't belong there at all. Of course, he never did. 

Changkyun avoided the hustle and bustle of the graduating crowds. Hordes of students scattered all around him in their own cliques, yakking in joy and snapping shots for memories' sake. Changkyun hates the noise but he couldn't blame them for being ecstatic. The seniors are finally graduating, finally leaving this hell hole of a high school. If it was Changkyun graduating, he would be as thrilled too. But right then, he abhorred the buzz. 

He stood behind the pillar as he watched his now boyfriend bursting in bewitching smiles that weren't meant for him at all. Hawk-like eyes eyed intrusive hands caressing his Hyungwon. Especially those girls—the petite, long-haired, big-eyed and humongous chested girls. They're an embodiment of what every man wants from a girl. Giggling as they linked their arms with Hyungwon's for a photo. Thrusting their chest into his arms. 

Changkyun let out an exasperated breath. He couldn't help it at all. Couldn't help but to feel a little jealous. Okay, maybe not a little. He's **possessive** of his hyungwon. 

Too many times, they fought because of Changkyun's selfish behaviour but too many times, Hyungwon gave in because Changkyun is all he sees. It's really difficult for Changkyun to get that through his head. He's really trying though—he swore. Still, it's inevitable, the feeling keeps coming up.

"Hyung..." Changkyun softly called out for his hyung. He wants him back by his side. 

He called out, again and again, almost whining. But, really, his faint voice was too soft to be heard and he was little too far from his favourite person. He bit his lips, glaring as his tiny hands curled into a small ball of fury. 

"Aww, poor puppy. Hyungwon ignoring you?"

That familiar voice had Changkyun's anger melt away. The puppy eagerly turned to hug that person.

"Wonho Hyung!" he hugged him tightly, refused to let go.

Yes, Changkyun forgave him a while back even after those selfish things Wonho did to the poor boy. He forgave him. They even went back to being the close friends they were before those lines got blurred and fucked everything up. Of course, there are times, Hyungwon disapproved their close-knitted friendship they currently shared but he's understanding. He knows Changkyun treasures Wonho a lot. 

"Hey, kkukkungie," wonho ruffled his hair as he hugged back. 

"I don't want you to leave."

"It's for awhile. Only for a year. I need a break from this place."

Changkyun pulled away a little, with a sombre look on his face, searching for answers in the elder's eyes.

"... Is it because of me? D-do you want to leave this place because of me?"

Changkyun noticed Wonho opened his mouth to say something but then closed it back. Instead, he placed his hand on Changkyun's right cheek, squashing it. 

"Hyung?"

Wonho sighed, "N-no, of course not. I... don't even want you to leave my side. I just wanted to take a break before continuing with my studies, you know? Slowly decide on what I want to do for the rest of my life."

Changkyun smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"... Kkukkungie, will you miss me?"

"Y-you know I will... you are my best friend."

Wonho huffed, a little irritated but he tried not to show it much. Keyword: tried. Changkyun noticed it; he was taken aback.

"Then I'd rather have you not miss me at all," he whispered, gently pushing Changkyun off him. He gave a small curt smile before turning away and disappearing into the crowds. 

Changkyun would want to chase after Wonho but it was too late. He's gone. 

* * *

 

"Changkyun."

He looked up, hoping it would be his Wonho-hyung but nope, it was Hyungwon. He was seated at his favourite place—the study area—because he was tired of waiting and watching the girls fighting over his boyfriend. Surprisingly, Hyungwon had managed to find him without even calling him. 

"Hyung," he greeted curtly. He was still a little angry over what he had seen earlier.

Hyungwon wasn't in his best mood either. Annoyed and thoroughly done.

"Why did you hug Wonho?"

Changkyun huffed and rolled his eyes, "why did you let them touch you like that?"

Hyungwon's stumped.

"They are my friends, changkyun."

"Well, Wonho-hyung is my best friend too, hyung."

Frustrated, hyungwon ran his fingers through his slicked-back hair, messing it up. Honestly, if they weren't fighting, Changkyun would've kissed his Hyungwon hyung because he looked really good. 

But they're fighting. And it was because of something absurd.

"Are you being serious right now? You're being irrational now, do you know that?"

"Y-you're being unreasonable now too. You know that W-wonho hyung is leaving soon and it's for a year, right? I won't be seeing him for a year, right? S-so it should be fine ri-right?"

At that moment, Changkyun was having difficulties breathing because he was frustrated because of all people, Hyungwon, had to act this way. He hates this. He felt like crying.

Hyungwon breathed out slowly, closing his eyes and pursing his lips. Warms hands clutching Changkyun's sides, squeezing his upper arms gently. 

"Okay, princess, I am sorry, alright? I won't let anyone touch me like that anymore. I will never see anyone else the same way I see you, baby. I am sorry."

"Wonho-hyung wouldn't be as unreasonable as you are, hyung. Because he loves me a lot more than you do. If only-"

"If only what?" He cut off. Hyungwon's tone of voice changed drastically. He clenched his jaw. Boy, he is getting angry by the second.

_Fuck. A s_ udden realisation hit him in the back of his head. Changkyun's mortified. He didn't mean to say that. It was on the spur of the moment thing. He wants to take it back.   _Take it back. Take it back. Take it back, changkyun._

"I-I..."

"So, basically you are implying that maybe if I was wonho instead, it would be better? In other words, you regretted being my boyfriend then?" 

"N-no, hyung... I didn't mean it that way. I l-love you, hyung. I... Hyung? Hyung!"

Hyungwon stomped off, leaving Changkyun dumbfounded.

* * *

 

He couldn't believe his ears. After all these while, he meant nothing to Changkyun at all? Not even one bit? 

Hyungwon marched off in fury, leaving his baby behind. He didn't care anymore. He felt hurt. No, it was more than hurt. It was agonising hearing those words from Changkyun's own mouth. He was crushed. He just wants to go home. 

Hyungwon felt a tug on the back hem of his uniform top. He knows it's his baby, desperately chasing, keeping up with his brisk pace. Changkyun's melancholic sobbing confirmed it but he couldn't care less, jaunting to where Uncle Jong had parked their family car. 

Hyungwon stopped abruptly by the car making the little one bump onto him. He paused to think. He is angry but he has no heart to leave Changkyun all alone crying. He still has responsibilities as a boyfriend. Turning around, looking at his princess in a crying mess hurts Hyungwon but his ego isn't backing down.

"Get in," he growled. 

The puppy obeyed, getting into the car before the owner does. Hyungwon reached over for Changkyun's seatbelt, fastening it for him. He's furious but he still cares. 

The crying mess subsided into soft sobs and sniffles. Hyungwon looked away and out of the window. He couldn't be angry for too long but something is stopping him from comforting his Changkyun. Hyungwon knows, knows that he gave in frequently and Changkyun would test his patience again and again but he really loves that boy. A lot. 

"Hyung..." his baby called him out but he couldn't bear to turn around and look at him. 

_I'm sorry. Give me time, baby. I am sorry._

"Hyung, please don't be mad at me anymore... I-I promise I won't be unreasonable. H-hyung? Look at me, p-please?" 

And it started again. The crying. Hyungwon wished he could ignore those painful cries of his baby. 

* * *

The car came to a halt at Hyungwon's house. Unbuckling his own seatbelt, he alighted afterwards, slamming the door hard. He walked off but he couldn't move a step further. He had punished the boy enough.

Guilty, he walked back to the car parked under the shed. Hyungwon opened the door on Changkyun's side, finding his baby with his knees close to his chest and sobbing really hard. Uncle Jong looked in the rearview mirror, with a mixture of cluelessness and worried look on his face. Hyungwon gave him a reassuring smile.

This has happened before and it's happening again.

Hyungwon unfastened Changkyun's seatbelt, whispering, "get up, baby. Let's go in."

Hyungwon grabbed him by his forearm, pulling him up to his feet. Dragged the sobbing mess into the house, closing the door behind them. Hyungwon enveloped the broken boy into a warm embrace, placing soft kisses on the crown. 

"I am sorry, I overreacted. I am sorry."

He broke the embrace, wiping the stained cheeks with the back of his hand. 

"H-hyung, I am sorry too."

_You shouldn't be the one saying sorry, baby._

 

His fingers still lingered on the tear-stricken face. He felt like now's the perfect time to ask the undying question.

"Do you really love me?"

Changkyun widened his eyes, obviously taken aback by what Hyungwon asked. 

It may sound like Hyungwon couldn't trust Changkyun but it's not like that at all. That question stuck around in Hyungwon's mind for weeks. He had lost confidence ever since they got together. Both confidence and self-esteem started to crumble down each time, thinking he wasn't good enough for Changkyun. Not only that, Changkyun and Wonho had become closer again. Changkyun smiles more when he's with Wonho and not with him. He felt like he was just a fragment of Changkyun's past. Someone unimportant. 

"Hyung..."

Hyungwon gulped. He's prepared to hear that Changkyun doesn't love him at all. 

"H-hyung... I really love you. I really do. I can even prove it to you."

Hyungwon squinted his eyes, a little perplexed, a little curious. 

The puppy ran past Hyungwon and up the flight of stairs he goes. Hyungwon's puzzled.  _Prove to me? ... Wait, what the fuck._

He took huge strides, chasing after the boy, afraid that Changkyun might do something stupid again. His legs brought him to the entrance of his bedroom where Changkyun was seated on Hyungwon's bed.

Puzzled, he asked, "Kyunnie, what are you doing?"

Changkyun's nifty hands started unbuttoning his own top while maintaining a hot teary gaze on Hyungwon.

"Hyung..." he sobbed.

Hyungwon bolted, his hands grabbing the other boy's cold sweaty hands. 

"Changkyunnie, what are you doing? Don't do this, please," he begged. 

"Hyung, I told you. This is how I am going to prove my love for you, hyung. By giving my self to you."

_What the fuck._

Hyungwon shook his head vigorously. Saying he doesn't want it would be a lie. It's just that he didn't want his baby to feel obliged to have sex with him just to prove his love for the older. It's wrong. He isn't like Wonho.  _This is wrong._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi wow. that's really long and nonsensical and very angsty. 
> 
> Anyone still alive after reading? :'-) 
> 
> BUTBUTBUT this is to prepare for the smutty chapter next heheheheheheh i can't wait for that.
> 
> If you have any comments about this particular chapter, please tell me down below! so I would know how to improve on myself. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, see you on the next special chapter!


	32. Special Chapter: let's do it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEFORE I BEGIN:
> 
> I am sorry for mia-ing. mostly because i was too caught up with my other fic 'hey, stranger' and also school has been a little mean to me ;; I've been getting comments wondering if I am even continuing this fic. Well, thank you;; for reminding me that I should update this fic because i totally forgot about it. LOL.
> 
> oKAY, enjoy it! and thank you for those who patiently waited this second part of the special chapter. I am really sorry! ;;

"Hyung... Let me," Changkyun nudged his hands away, slowly unbuttoning his uniform. 

Panic began to rouse in Hyungwon, he managed to stop the boy just before the last button. He knelt before the puppy, clutching his thin wrists. 

"No, stop. Changkyun, please. We don't have to do it this way."

"... Hyung, do you not want me? A-am I not good enough for you? But I-I really love you..."

He gulped. What has he gotten his puppy into? He wanted to take it slow but since things had turned out this way, should he just accept this? 

* * *

"Hyung, please?" he begged. 

Changkyun has offered himself in the most unromantic way. He desperately wants Hyungwon to take him right then and there but Hyungwon's noticeably hesitating. It broke him. He felt tears furiously spilling down his face. Crying with such a force that it hurts. Not to have Hyungwon touching him like what he expected was an agonising torture to his soul. 

_Am I not good enough? Is that why?_

It was heart-wrenching, waiting for his Hyung's answer. Like as if he was sitting on a bed of pins and needles. The wait made him anxious.

"... I don't know how to do it."

Changkyun took a sharp intake of breath. It felt like his heart jumped out of his mouth. He swore he thought Hyungwon would refuse. 

"What?" Changkyun asked just to make sure his ears weren't playing tricks on him.

Hyungwon averted his eyes away from Changkyun, biting his lower lip. A chuckle left Changkyun's lips. 

"Don't laugh... I have not done... It... Before. I don't even have any other experience with girls either. You were even my first kiss."

A smile broke across Changkyun's face realising how pure Hyungwon is but then disappearing almost immediately knowing how dirty and tainted he is. 

"I... Have not done it either," he whispered.

"I thought... Oh, wait, nevermind."

Changkyun looked away. He knows what was he referring to. Sure, Wonho and Changkyun have done quite a number of kinky things but they actually never went further than base 2. Other than the fact they almost did that unfortunate night. 

* * *

_Oh my god, Hyungwon, you dumb fuck. I swear to god. Why did I say that?_

Hyungwon inched closer, wiping the younger's tears with the back of his hand.

"H-hyung, we can study a-about it," he sniffed.

Looking up instantly, like an excited puppy, Hyungwon nodded profusely. Not going to lie, he was actually waiting for that moment where he could embrace and hold Changkyun, make a bountiful of love with his princess. It was the perfect chance. But there's also a part of Hyungwon, entirely refusing it because he does not want to hurt Changkyun. He does not want to be like Wonho. 

"And... I want Hyung... to do me."

He cheekily grinned, shyly averting his eyes away. While Hyungwon's totally the opposite. His face turned bright red at his puppy's demand. He said it so nonchalantly but deep inside, Hyungwon knows he was a little embarrassed. 

"O-okay... I'll do you, princess," his dick throbbed the moment he said that.

_Oh boy._

* * *

 

Hyungwon looked out the door. Again.  _Clear._ Obviously, no one's at home. Only the two of them. Changkyun and him; all alone. He huffed, feeling a little anxious. Shutting his bedroom door, he locked it and tried the knob to make sure it's safe. He turned around to his beautiful baby, who's seated obediently on his bed. 

"Hi, Princess," he whispered.

"Hi, Hyung," the younger replied with a small shy smile on his beetroot face. 

Yes. Today's the day. The day where they would learn all about sex between two males through porn. Hyungwon had made it a point to make sure that both of them would have to watch gay porn before starting on anything so that no mistakes could be made. He wouldn't want to hurt his baby either. 

Hyungwon grabbed his laptop off his desk and proceeded to his bed. 

"I... Did some research about it but I have not watched any."

"I watched plenty before," Changkyun admitted.

"What."

"Wonho hyung used to make me watch it with him all the time."

"I see... So you do know h-"

"I may know what is it like but I... wanna watch it again with you, Hyung."

 _This is kinda bad for my poor heart,_ he smiled sweetly at his younger lover, ruffling his hair. Changkyun may have a lot more experience than himself but that's not going to put him down for sure.

They cuddle up together in front of the massive huge laptop screen. Hyungwon had found a random gay porn on Tumblr. He knows that site is full of porn prior to this. He clicked play on one of them.

It started with an Asian boy answering questions for what it seems to be in Japanese. They didn't understand a word but it was intriguing. The scenes change quickly to where another man started to fondle the younger man. The porn actor let out soft moans causing the little Hyungwon to react. The boy was so cute. _It'd be even cuter if it was Changkyun instead._ That thought made his member hood twitched in response. He also noticed Changkyun shifting uncomfortably at his side, bringing his knees closer to his chest. 

"Why, baby?" he asked the squirming little one.

"I-I... Nothing!"

 _Oh really,_ he smirked. He knows his princess has a little stiffy and was trying his best to hide it from him.  _How adorable._

* * *

 

The actor was now on all fours, his bottom sticking out for the other man and allowing him to jab his fingers in and out of his tight hole, preparing him for later. 

That does it. Changkyun has a complete hard on and he craves for Hyungwon's touch. Usually, at this point, his prick would be showered with attention by Wonho but Hyungwon seemed so engrossed in the video, eyes glued to the screen. Changkyun looked at his Hyungwon with pouty lips, discreetly asking for attention. But his man isn't turning around.

"Ahh." The breathy moan had Changkyun snapped his attention back to the screen. The older man was already pumping into the actor's tight hole. 

That was the last straw. He wants to be touched now. 

"Hyungwon hung," he called the older ever softly. His eyes drifted to the obvious tent on Hyungwon's shorts.

"Hmm, baby?"

Changkyun bit his lips so hard it's turning red, "touch me now?"

Hyungwon shut his laptop, sliding it below his bed. He got up from the bed to his closet, rummaging for something that seemed to be a small brown paper bag. He dashed back to the bed.

"I've... prepared something that is going to be useful." he awkwardly smiled at the blushing one.

"H-hyung... b-before this I also kinda prepared myself at home? So... It will be easier for the both of us."

"Good boy," he praised the younger. He knows how much Changkyun likes being praised judging from the pleased expression Changkyun has.

"You ready, princess?"

"I am, hyung. Are you?"

"I've never been so ready, baby."

* * *

 

It seemed like Changkyun was shy about how the room was brightly lit. He rambled on and on about how his body wasn't nice to look at under lustrous lights. But Hyungwon obviously refused to allow the room be dark because he wanted to take the time and study his precious boyfriend's body, etching it into his memory.

Hyungwon drew the curtains shut, with only the warm night lamp illuminating the pitched-dark room. He sat on his bed, inches away from his princess, enough for Changkyun to breathe in his scent. That same musky cologne he wore the first time they met in the school library. Hyungwon gently pulled Changkyun's arm, hauling him into his lap. So close that their bodies touched. He rested his chin on the other's shoulder. Changkyun's warmth seeped into his skin as he held the other so intimately, wrapping his arm around his tiny waist while the free hand stroked the back of the younger's head, calming the boy's unnerving nerves. Hyungwon knew that Changkyun was feeling a little nervous.

His hand slides downwards, tenderly caressing the long stretch of nape. Changkyun shivered under his touch. The puppy whined that made Hyungwon whispered a quiet apology. Hyungwon pulled away from their tight embrace. His hands strongly grabbed either side of Changkyun's face, moving in for a peck on the lips. Another one. And another one. The kissing starts—their lips overlapped one another, tongues caressed each other and their bodies moved gracefully matching their heartbeats. Hyungwon pushed the puppy lightly against the soft mattress. Careful not to frighten Changkyun again.

He locked eyes with Changkyun, "you doing okay?"

"I'm okay, Hyung. I'm not scared anymore. Touch me more, okay?"

Changkyun felt safe in his Hyung's arms. No doubt. He wanted more and he's going to get more. Hyungwon stripped off their shirts of their bodies. The cool air from the air conditioner made the younger shudder. 

"You cold, princess?" 

Changkyun nodded, putting his arms up, signalling to the older that he wanted warmth from him. Hyungwon took notice of his needy boyfriend's actions. Taking him in his arms, he placed sultry kisses on his cheeks, his forehead, his nose. Slowly making his way down his neck, his chest and his tummy. Hyungwon nuzzled his nose against Changkyun's belly button making the younger writhe.

"Ah hyung don't. I'm ticklish," he warned as he felt the tingly feeling coming up from within.

"You're so cute, Kyun. I can't resist."

Changkyun covered his embarrassed face with his arms, whining a little. 

Hyungwon moved further down south, directly facing his boyfriend's crotch, kneading it sensually and painfully slow causing the little one to react vigorously. Changkyun's first moan left his lips. Fingers desperately grasping onto Hyungwon's wrist.

 _Ah, fuck it,_ Hyungwon thought. He pulled down his princess's shorts, revealing a small tented briefs, with a little wet spot in the middle. 

"Already wet, huh?"

"N-no..." 

Hyungwon smirked. He enjoyed watching how Changkyun fidgeted under his touch and how red he became after a few grazes across the younger's prick. He was starting to feel hot himself. Hyungwon started to strip every last piece of their clothing off their body. His dick sprung up high as he pulled down his own underwear, earning a coyish look from the smaller one. He stroked along his own great length. Changkyun watched intently, anticipating for more.

"Come here, baby. Suck me off," he commanded as he knelt on both knees.

Changkyun gladly went on all fours, crawling towards Hyungwon. His tiny fingers wrapped around the huge shaft, gently grazing it up and down. Hyungwon groaned. Changkyun looked up with innocent puppy eyes before enveloping the sweltering warm length with his moistened lips. Hyungwon admired the way Changkyun's lips stretched around the girth of his dick. To his surprise, Changkyun went down on him hungrily, sucking him off clumsily. Despite that, Hyungwon was going crazy with all the mixed sensations he never felt before, building up from within. It felt way better than his own hand.

Hyungwon grabbed the younger's hair, mildly controlling his pace. He felt really close. Something more was building up. Something familiar. He began moving his hips, fucking his princess's beautiful face. His baby's choking noises were definitely music to his ears. He watched those tears flow down Changkyun's face. 

"Sorry baby, I am close. I feel like coming. Bear with me, okay?" 

Changkyun's weakly grasped onto Hyungwon's hip bones as Hyungwon moved pretty erratically. His thrusts were short and fast-paced. He mercilessly plunged deeper as he moved in and out of Changkyun's mouth.

"Ah, fuck. I-I'm coming, baby," he warned.

With the last few thrusts, he ejaculated at the back of Changkyun's throat. He looked down at the little one's glazed eyes and his wet cheeks from the tears. He pulled out with a clear 'pop' sound. Hyungwon noticed his baby's Adam's apple bobbed.  _He swallowed it?!_

Hyungwon felt guilty almost immediately. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOP WOOP I stopped at the right timing for a good cliff hanger ahahhahahahahahhahahahahahha. I'm sorry. Gotta wait before the real fun begins :'-)
> 
> ANYWAYS, finally, they decided to do it :'-) But Hyungwon suddenly felt guilty(???????????) would he actually continue it (??????????)
> 
> (anyways sorry for the weird smut writing. I clearly do not have experience in writing a smut fic :'-) this is based on imaginations and tumblr LOL)
> 
> See you on the next one!!! And once again sorry for making you all wait. I'll update faster next time!!

**Author's Note:**

> It's boring, isn't it? I'm sorry D: It will be better soon, I hope.


End file.
